4 year old issues :(

[Mommyof7plusinfant]

Our 4 year old wets the bed almost every night and when we started stopping his drinking a few hours before bed he stopped for awhile and now he gets up in the middle of the night and steals drinks from sink or fridge or wherever he can and ends up wetting the bed. A cold shower after one time stopped him doing it for a week or so but then he went right back to it and we read not to punish so we stopped. We tried the whole be calm and say okay lets get you cleaned up routine and encouraged him that we'd try again tomorrow. That didn't work either. We did pull-ups and he didn't pee for 2 weeks and now he still wets again every night. We can't afford pull-ups and diapers every month. Now this morning he wet the bed and I told him to go to the bathroom and I would bath him and he peed his pants while standing in there waiting for me :( If he gets sent to the corner he has started peeing in the corner when we have made it very clear even in time out if you gotta go potty go and usually he is real good about it but lately he will just stand there or sit there and pee. I am at my wits end :( What do we do?

[allmymarbles]

Of my four children, one stopped having to wear diapers at night at age three and a half. The others were four. I never made a fuss about it and let them drink whenever they were thirsty. They all grow up. It just takes a little patience.

[Sandman2]

Yep, I agree with all of the above.  Also, if he is not having the problem during the day, then the problem is that (I think) he either is not getting the signal at night, or that he is sleeping so soundly.  Makes me wonder if with all his brothers and sisters around if he is not getting enough sleep at night?  You might try putting him to bed earlier.  

Also, the standard for a timeout is one minute per age.  He should not be in timeout long enough to have to pee.

[specialmom]

I just wanted to say that if you do a little research, you will see that 12 percent of kids wet the bed at night until the age of 9.  Twelve percent is a huge number of kids.  They don't do it to be bad, anger the parents, defy them, etc.  They do it because their signal to wake to urinate is not strong enough yet.  It often develops as time goes on.  

Punishing him is inappropriate in my opinion.  A cold shower and humiliation of a 4 year old seems so extreme.  Please don't do that.  

Kids like to drink at night when they don't drink as much during the day.  One of my sons is this way.  The poor guy is like a camel during the day.  He just goes long hours without drinking.  I have all sorts of strategies in place now such as a water bottle with him during the day at all times.  Lots of reminders to drink.  Set 'snack' times that have drinks as a big part of it.  What he would do is want to guzzle water at bed time.  This was an issue for him to then stay dry as he didn't have the signal to wake him up.  We used UnderJams at that time.  No sense in making him feel bad.  I mean, he didn't want to pee at night.  Why would he WANT to do that?  

Anyway, he grew out of it.  

It's just not worth treating your child like he's done something wrong for being thirsty and wetting at night at age 4.  To punish him for it seems to be the wrong direction to take.  

good luck

[RockRose]

and i agree with annie.  you've overwhelmed yourself with too many children - so it's hard to be patient when you have stretched yourself too thin.

[RockRose]

this is totally normal,  and it's cruel to deprive a child of liquids and then punish him with a cold shower if he gets up and steals water.  

we had a bedwetter,  and what you have to do is get up every night at around midnight and walk him to the bathroom.  he may be very groggy and need support,  but have him go and then tuck him back in to bed.

there's no point in dehydrating a child,  or punishing him for a bodily function he can't help.

sorry for the lack of capitalization,  my keyboard is fried.

[AnnieBrooke]

I see also by your username that there are a lot of other kids in the picture.  Any chance he is being hit, bullied or harmed?  This might be a stress reaction.  Again, don't forget to talk to the pediatrician.  My guess is that he will tell you this is normal.

[AnnieBrooke]

Talk to the pediatrician and for heaven's sake, put him into pullups or diapers at night.  If you can't afford disposables, use cloth ones with a wrap or cover.  There is no point in being at your wit's end.  LOTS of kids can't control their bladders when sleeping at age 4.  Go to the library and get a good book on potty training, and try to remove the tension, anger and punishment from something as unable to be controlled as a 4-year-old as his peeing when sleeping.