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I was reading your post an my son will be 5 in a couple of months and he acts the same way your son does. He gets frustrated very easy yells at me if he doesn't get his way he disobeys me all the time. His speech is very good other than that you sound like you are going throught what I am. He's good at the park, school, and when we go out places. When he gets hurt he yells for a while and I try to comfort him he will yell at me. He doesn't listen to me at all. He's very good in school his teacher told me he gets along with others he's a sweet boy in school. I He bangs all the time I tell him no banging conner he will look at me and do it again. He listens when I read to him he loves books. So I read him books all the time. Conner will listen to me if he really wants. He's a very smart boy.
I saw your posting and could totally relate to your situation. My son is 5yrs old and is also delayed with the mentality of a three year old. He does the same thing bangs his head when hes mad and will scream and cry as if someone was beating him. Other then that all his teachers love him and say he's such a sweet boy, he loves music and playing outside, but when he doesnt get his way he goes off. Maybe you should ask his doctor if he should be evaluated for autism. There are some children that you would never think have it because it is so minor. I hope that you find what your looking for.
The behaviors you are describing sound a little autistic in nature. I would have your son evaluated by your pediatrician. In addition, your son may qualify for speech services. When he starts kindergarten, push for a speech evaluation. They will also check his hearing to make sure that his delay is based on his speech only. I would take him to the pediatrician because he/she can give you the best reccommendations rigth now. Good luck!
You do not need to wait until kindergarten to get that evaluation. Schools are required to provide services from birth-21. Many schools have early intervention teams that can help at any age before a child gets to school.
You are soooooo not alone. My son will be 5 in December and he's just like you described. Ive tried everything nothing is helping this situation. As soon as you tell him to do something he doesn't like or discipline him for something wrong he turns into another person. Kicking, hitting, Growling and screaming I dont love you. Im a mom who loves all 3 of my children and I love children and have patience with them. Even I am to my wits end with this.
Good Luck