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4 year old out of control!!
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4 year old out of control!!

I am the father of a 4 year old boy that has major anger problems at school. My son seems to have problems transitioning between activities or taking directions from authority figures in his classroom. When given a new task that he does not agree with he immediately refuses to comply and actively seeks to cause disruption in the classroom. He has frequently hit other students, biten teachers, kicked at the Center Director.

He was asked to leave one child care center (as nice as they possibly could) and is working on leaving another if not carefull. I feel terrible as a parent because I am failing in my parental duty. I have tried corporal punishment to the point that I know it is not helping him. He has asked for help and I genuinely feel that he does not want to act this way but can not help himself.

The kicker to this story is a little different from most I have read. My son does not exhibit any of this behavior at home. He really is the model kid away from school. In fact he is too perfect at times which makes me wonder if pychosis or mental illness could be present. I don't want to indict my son as having mental health issues but when he is raging at school he is off the charts. I witnessed him for the first time today when they called me to calm him down. I could not believe that was him in the background. It sounded as if they were killing him or he them.

His intelligence is extremely high (common thread here) and the teacher has stated that she has trouble keeping up assigning him work. He is rarely challenged with his schoolwork and seeks to learn all that he can.

Today after being reprimanded he punched an innocent girl in the face with his fist?? She had done nothing to him. We have requested some help from a local child therapist. We are wits end and would like to know if anyone has dealt with this type of behavior in such a young child? Please share thoughts or suggestions.
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I know exactly what you are experiencing except that I am the teacher of a 5 year old preschooler that is exhibiting the same behavior.  He is extremely intelligent and is very personable when he is not in a rage.  I have tried timeouts (which only seem to enrage him further).  He has had to go home several times for being out of control.  I am trying something different now.  His parents are at their wits end.  After he returned to school after his last episode (his mom actually walked in during his tantrum) I had a talk with him about exactly what he was feeling when he gets so angry.  I asked him if the anger started in his "tummy" and he said yes.  I asked him if it was hard for him to control after his anger moves from his "tummy" and he said yes and that he just wants to punch someone and knock things down.  I asked him if it would help if he could sit and calm down on his own when he is feeling that angry feeling in his tummy.  He said he could try.  I vigilent  so that I can intervene before he gets past his boiling point.  It has been 2 weeks and no outbursts or tantrums.  He puts himself in a "time out" when he is feeling agitated.  He still needs some redirection for being mildly disruptive but takes the redirection well. I have never had to deal with this in all the years I have taught preschool.  His mom says he is well behaved at home and at his daycare.  I hope this helps.  
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