CHILD BEHAVIOR
COMMUNITY
4 year old peeing on floor
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by 3_boys, Feb 25, 2008
My son started peeing on the floor while my husband was on deployment with the Navy.  When my husband came back, it stopped for a few weeks, but then started back again.  He is 4, and has been potty trained since he was almost 3.  He takes his pants down and goes in his room, playroom, bathroom, and even on the walls in the hallway.  I ask him why, and he says he doesn't know.  He is highly intelligent and has always been ahead of the majority of kids his age.  I know that he knows better and knows that it is wrong, but I can't get him to stop.  This has been going on for about a year.  I have tried everything from a reward system, talking to him, time out, loss of privileges, spankings, having him clean up his own mess, making him stay right by my side at ALL times, and now am throwing his card collection in the trash.  One by one, each time he pees on the floor, I pick a card and cut it up, then he has to put it in the trash.  He is also wearing a diaper right now, as well as cleaning up his own messes (just with water...I use the steam cleaner later).  I am at my wits end with him.  Tonight we had a rational discussion and he expressed how upset he would be if I cut up another one of his cards.  We finished brushing his teeth and in less than 1 minute he came out of his playroom crying and said he had peed on the floor in there.  I really don't get it.  He KNEW what was going to happen and had just told me that he didn't want that to happen, yet he went in and immediately peed on the floor.  Most times he doesn't even tell me when he does it.  Either I or one of his brothers will find it.  Since the beginning, he would only pee on his end of the house (bedroom, playroom, bathroom, and hallway), but recently he even went in my room.  He pees on the carpet, and sometimes on books and toys.  I am SO angry now, I don't even know what to do with him.  I really thought the embarrassment of him wearing a diaper would do it, but once it is on, he doesn't really even think twice about it.  What can I do?  We are worried that he may have some sort of damage to his brain.  When he was 1 month old, he fell out of his baby carrier onto the pavement.  He had a skull fracture, and has been followed up on by his doctors.  His last scan was when he was around 2, and he was so advanced on everything, the doctors said he was just fine.  In the back of my mind, I have always been worried about him though.  Do you think  he could have some damage stemming from that?  Please help!!
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Member Comments (26)
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by Lovesadkids, Feb 25, 2008
Even if your son was hurt when he fell on his head (I'm sure you feel guilty about it, but believe the doctor!), you're still left with the problem.  I suggest you stop the "punishment" stuff - throwing things away, taking away priviledges, etc. since it isn't working and is making you feel worse, and probabaly making him feel worse, too.  I remember reading a study on mentally handicapped, institutionalized adults who had toileting issues.  When the patients had to 1) clean up the mess themselves, and 2) take a rather chilly shower afterwards, the behavior changed radically.  I suggest you be loving, sweet, understanding, and adapt those two techniques.  And don't either of you fret about him saying he doesn't want to do it, then he does it.  He thinks he's not in control of himself; therefore, he doesn't believe he CAN control himself.  I hope a little mopping and a cool shower will help him move past this hurdle.  Good luck!  
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by Wicka, Mar 02, 2008
Hi.  I too am having the same problem with my 4 year old girl.  Can I first say that the first thing you should do is STOP.  Think about the circumstances when your child first pees?  Through my own experience of my other two child (16) & (13) sometimes your child IS trying to talk to you but are not heard (if your house is as hectic as mine?)  I always bear in mind that my daughter is only just 4 years old and our expectations as parents usually exceed them.  I just say to her "never mind" and then sit her on the toilet, clean the mess up myself, then carry on with life as though it has never happened.  I do find that this method helps because if you start to make an issue of it then it becomes a bigger issue altogether.  When the peeing happens I feel it's just a way of your child saying "hey I want you to watch me play or can you help me build this, etc.  Please remember they are young children and sometimes their animal instincts just have to kick in for survival/attention.  Take care. xxxx
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by momx2boys141, Mar 20, 2008
I have a 3 year old son that is almost four and he has just started peeing on his bed, on the floor and even on his toys. When I ask him why he did it he tells me he thought it was the bathroom which he is a really smart kid so I know he knows better. I have tried everything spanking and taking privelages away even making him clean up the mess. I also have a 1 year old son and my husband works a lot and is not home much I have noticed that he only does it when his daddy is at home. I am wondering if he is trying to get attention from his daddy. But I am glad to hear that other people are having the same problem I was really worried that something was really wrong because he has been potty trained for over a year then he starts doing this.
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by luvnlyfe, Jul 20, 2008
OH MY GOSH! You are talking about my life. I have a 4 year old son, who is about to turn 5. He has been peeing on the floor for the past 2 months. I even found him peeing in the heat vent. Like you, I am at my wits end. I don't know what to do. When I ask him why he does it he says, "I don't know". Again, like you we have taken away toys, but he still does it. I have noticed the he will even poo in his pants and he wont even tell me. He knows how to use the toilet he has been potty trained for about 1 1/2 years! He clearly knows that what he is doing is wrong but he continues to do it. I wish I know what to do, I wish there was a website that would tell me "this is the problem..." but there isn't. I find comfort knowing that this is happening to other people and that my son isn't the only one...maybe this is just a phase that some kids go through...
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by marinewife7, May 25, 2009
hey!! gosh i am glad i am not the only one my husband just went on deployment and my daughter started peeing in my floors right before he left before peeing in the floors she was peeing in her pants and would tell me she just didnt feel like going now its both most of the time she just hides it and then i find it of course when the carpet smell bad and then she tells me she doesnt know why!! the thing is she always does it in the day time and there is 3 bathrooms in my home and she was seriously 6 sets away from it when she peeied in my floor. she just turned 5 and is about to start school. i have tried everything and i am lost...... everything i seem to do just doesnt work its like she doesnt care! she is the only child so i dont know how it could be not getting enough attention cause its always just me and her. i am pregnant tho and am very scared to know what is going to happen when a new baby comes into the picture,,,,,, is it going to get worse?????
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by bwilkinson, Jan 12, 2010
My mom called me this morning in the middle of yelling at my younger brother, her 5 year old son who she just found out had been peeing in his room and inside of his toys. He had no answer as to why this was happening. Know i have a very large family, which consists of ten children, me being the oldest at 22. I think if jealousy isnt and issue, then im sure its a call for attention. Those needs are hard to be met with so much going on at the house. He shares a room with his little brother, who he is very jealous of...so I also think it could be a way for him to mark his territory? After reading up a little bit, I decided that yelling and making a fuss was not the answer no matter how upset, but a calm approach and having the child help clean up the mess is the best way to handle the situation. Possilbly my mother even making more time for her to spend one on one time with him, just so he feels that she is making the effort as well. Hopefully things will change soon.
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by OutdoorsyGirl101, Mar 02, 2010
I am a mom of a 3 1/2 yr old boy, who is peeing in the floor also.  This just started about a week ago, and like many others, he has been potty trained for almost a year. I first noticed puddles beside the toilet or near the garbage can in bathroom and so I thought...no big deal he just had to go real bad and didn't make it, or was looking around while peeing (which he does often).  Then, during the same week after moving his baby sister (19 mo) into the room with him, my husband and I watched him (via camera monitor) stand up in his bed and pee off of it into the carpet!!! I was livid!!! He definitely knows better! I talked with him about his little sister moving into his room and he was excited about it, and he still is. I really don't understand what is going on. Tonight it was the kitchen floor. After reading everyones comments, I feel somewhat at ease knowing that I'm not alone with this, but at same time, it is very mentally exhausting as I worry and fear that I am failing as a parent....and WOW, this is only the beginning of troublesomes I'm sure! If anyone has spoken to a healthcare professional about this problem and has any new suggestions or new findings, please share....need all the info I can get.
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by Serenityfalls, Mar 13, 2010
My daughter would pee on the floor as well. She was 3 at the time  but was already potty trained. She took her pants off  ran into the room and just went infront of me on the living room floor. All of this started just after her father was deported. She was regressing and acting out because, in her eyes, her father left her. Children have a funny way of blaming themselves and at these ages they act out or regress because they don;t know how to communicate their confussion, anger, or pain. Play therapy has helped her and she is doing great now.
Her father is not home yet, like your husband, but I was told that good change is also hard as well to adjust to for young children. I will be taking her back to play therapy, when her Dad returns, to help her adjust.
His father leaving and returning could be causing him to regress and their may be resouces available in your area to help him deal these changes.
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by lindsayd, Feb 04, 2011
Ugh! Glad to know I'm not the only one going through this! But like everyone else, I sure wish there was a "fix" to this issue. My daughter will be 3 in March, we're working on potty training still, she wont go poop on the potty, which I'm not pushing, my other daughter didn't go poop on the potty until right before she turned 4. But the issue with my soon to be 3 year old is peeing and pooping on the floor. Just like everyone else, she knows where the potty seat is and where the bathrooms are but just doesn't use them, she only will if I realize it's been an hour or 2 and I ask her if she has to go, otherwise she just sneaks off and pees or poops on the carpeting, which only make me angry! My whole downstairs living room smells like pee all the time, no matter how much I clean them. I'm at a loss too and just hoping this passes soon. I dont punish her, I just tell her we're not supposed to go potty on the floor and you have to tell mommy when you need to go potty. She says okay, but this has been going on for probably 6 months now. I'm a stay at home mom so they have my attention all the time, I only have 2 kids, my husband works normal hours, there's been no major changes in their lives, so I just can't understand why she chooses to pee & poop on the floor when she knows she's not supposed to. I play with them all the time so I really dont think it's an attention seeking thing. It really just seems like she doesn't feel like taking the time to walk to the bathroom and it's just easier for her to pee where she's standing! It makes you feel like you've done something wrong when you have 2 children that are taking longer than normal to potty train. I know every child is different, but when you're a stay at home mom and spend all your time with your kids, trying to teach them right from wrong, you feel like you must be doing something wrong when they do things like this.