4 year old sexual behavior

Hello Dr....

My son is four and my friend son id four...they are 1 month apart....we babysit each others boys often but something happed that made us split them apart for a while.. according to the 2 boys here’s what happened...The 4yr old boy asked my son to "do something nasty with him" and he started to rub my sons butt and then they rubbed their butts together...then my son tells the other boy to bite his penis...he did and rather hard and my sons penis was bruised...he felt horrible and knew what he did was wrong...he has NEVER been exposed to that stuff with me...I’m not sure about his father...but I’m not sure how to handle this...I must admit at first I was VERY upset and thought about him being gay...now I’m not sure what to think..please help?!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The thought about being gay should play no part in this - it is absoutlutely a meaningless concern. More to the point is what prompted this behavior. Such things do not spontaneously occur to children. One or both of the boys has been exposed to some inapproparite and over-stimulating behavior and that invites concern and investigation. In addition, be sure to set very firm limits with your son about not touching other people's genital areas or buttocks and not permitting anyone to do so with him.