4 year old sons tantrums and crying everyday

[koritnik]

When I tell my son not to do something or to quit doing something, a horrible, loud, annoying crying, starts, and as it continues it worsens.  Even when I tell him he is not in trouble it doesn't matter he just freaks out.  He also will pull his hair, but not hard enough to where he pulls it out.  The only way he calms down and stops is if we baby him one way or another.  My husband and I have tried everything.  Nothing works but the babying him and somethimes that doesn't even work.  PLEASE HELP I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, IM SO FRUSTRATED AND STRESSED.

[101kelsey101]

I have a baby brother so i know how you feel. here is what you should do. 5 STEP PROCESS!

1) stop giving in.
2) give him rewards when he shares, says compliments, or does anything good.
3) since hes young...what my mom does she puts use in time out depending on our age..if hes foru he goes in time out for four minutes and so on.
4) start giving him lees rewards for what he does cuz you should do something good for no reason.
5) dont let him get away without being punished at all or the problem will start all over again.

[archer0000]

Okay my son is now 7 1/2 years old.  I went through a similar problem when he was 5 going into kindergarden.  I made a "Reward Chart"  I found alot of neat awards and pictures on the internet to use.  I made it very colorful and easy for him to understand, For example
1. I had a picture of praying hands so when he prayed before dinner or bed
2.  Picture of a boy putting his pajamas on get a star for that
3.  Picture of a bath tub so when he would get a star
4. Picture of dishes so when he put his dishes in the sink he would get a star
5. Picture of toys so when he picked up his toys he would get a star

These are some Ideas You can get 120 diffrent colored stars at walmart and let him put a star on each picture and when he would get so many Let him pick a treasuere out of your treasure box! My son loved this he really was into it.  This was a miracle for me! Hope this helps

[pertykitty]

i agree with the stop babying him. they find an action they like and will do anything to get it. when he is having that fit remember, he isnt in pain, he is just mad. he will learn. my son was horrible with tantrums at that age.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

When my son throws a fit (he's 3.5) I put him in his room or on the steps and say he may rejoin the family when he is done.  He also apologizes.  I have even removed him from the dinner table.  Very few fits in my house these days.

It's all a big power struggle....teaching your son that he can get his way by this behavious will have disaterous results when he goes to school.  

Be firm, calm and consistent.  And give lots of love when you see good behaviour.  I have a feeling he is going to be just fine.  If problems persist, have him evaluated.

[RockRose]

Stop babying him!  

Have you seen kids in the grocery store who scream louder and louder and louder until they get the candy they want,  and the mother finally gives in?  Sometimes,  she might give in after 30 seconds.  Sometime,  maybe after 10 minutes.  The kids gets louder and more obnoxious and on and on until finally he gets the reward.

It sure sounds like what your son is doing.  He's getting special attention for tantrumming.  

In the future,  just ignore him,  and you might give a couple prompts,  I won't talk to you until you've calmed down,  in a very calm voice.

(Of course,  it's hard to see what's going on,  and this is just an internet board.  If this continues mention it to your pediatrician).