4 year old step-son acts "odd"

First off, I am his dad's girlfriend. We have been together for almost a year and we have his son the better part of the time. For lack of a better word, he just acts odd to me. He doesn't take well more than one direction at one time. (Ex. Asked him to take his plate to the kitchen, then take his shoes off. He stopped in the middle of the dining room, set the plate down & was going to remove his shoes.) He has become very "clingy" toward his dad. He is an only child, and his mom is getting married this fall. He recently told a family member that his mom's fiance called him "stupid", which he did not. Then he asked his Dad, "why did you call me stupid?" when he had not even said that word. He becomes very attached to certain toys, and acts like he can not live with out them (Ex. action figures, & Hot wheels) and he'll find something to carry them around in, right now it's a stocking cap, and continuiously have them. I'm not the only one who finds his behaviors "odd." My family has asked me about it, and I don't know what to say. Sometimes he get's a little "touchy" with me. Nothing too inappropriate. Just he'll rub my leg, or come up to me & kiss my arm. He just does random acts of love. What I am asking is this normal behavior for a 4 year old boy, or am I just being paranoid?

[AnnieBrooke]

The random acts of love seem pretty normal for at least a toddler, I assume they grow out of it but don't know when.  The attachment to the toys might be some kind of minor autistic symptom, but it would take a professional to diagnose this.

[myenzoorka]

All of it seems normal to me.  He's going through a lot right now.  His attachment to his toys is probably his way of clinging to something that won't change and throw his life into further upheaval.  His behavior with you is a good sign that he likes you and trusts you.  And his comments about being called "stupid"... well, a 4 year old is smart enough to know when people are calling him stupid without using that exact word.  But, they can also feel like someone has called them stupid when they haven't.  ESPECIALLY, when the 4 year old is under stress.  I think he sounds like a normal kid.  The changes going on in his life are stressful even for adults, so be sure to encourage him to talk about how he's feeling.

[Titers4]

Thank you! I just thought I might get an "outsiders" opinion. I know he's going thru a lot right now, and you are right about him liking me. I was just a bit concerned about him starting school this fall & then the teacher saying something.

[RockRose]

I agree with myenzoorka - nothing further to add except he sounds like a delightful little boy.  

[specialmom]

Agreed, sounds normal to me.  Gosh---------- I'm hoping my children never outgrow those random acts of love!  He sounds like his trust with you is growing and he he feels warmly towards you.  I bet he'd love a random act of love from you as well.

Divorce is hard on a little guy------- and going between two houses can be a little confusing.  Perhaps the attaching to a toy is his way of staying stable.  But . . . both my sons did this as well and their dad and I are together.  So, it is a kid thing.

Good luck.

[mammo]

I have to agree!  He sounds like a typical 4 year old!