4 year old stepson cannot speak clearly, will not use potty, has aggressive beha

[Faith O.]

My stepson will be 4 in sept. & he has problems with speaking. You can't understand what he is saying or what he wants most of the time. He will say he wants water when he wants a drink, & will get upset if you actually give him water. If you try to talk to him, he can't look you in the eyes for for than a few seconds. He is not interested in using the bathroom at all, I have tried to give him "treats" to encourage him, but he will go in the bathroom, sit on the potty, & yell "treat, treat" when he has done nothing. We make a very big deal if he DOES use the potty, clapping,cheering, & he is please with himself, yet her doesn't do it often. Two times this week, & sat on the couch pulled down his pants & peed. He pushed his older sister down the stairs, hit her in the face with a bat, & threw a metal plane at my 1 year old disabled daughter. AFter each of these acts, he bent over & laughed as they cried. His mother is not really worried about his behavior, I have tried to talk her into a speech therapist, & maybe get evaluated for something else, but she insists there is nothing wrong with him. He got his hearing tested, & they said he was fine. If you say something to him, he will repeat one word that you said. If you ask him a yes or no question he will repeat what you said. I am very concerned about this. At his daycare, he gets reports daily, & when he plays alone, he gets a good report, if he plays with others, a bad one. What can my husband & I do to help?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

He clearly displays some serious problems, including speech/language delays. There is no reason to think this situation will change unless he receives professional intervention. He should be evaluated by a developmental team, including speech/language pathologist, psychologist, pediatrican, at least.