How do I break my 4 year old from peeing in his pants and peeing in his bed at night? He is potty trained and knows to go to the toilet when he has to use the bathroom and goes sometimes. He will go a week or so without peeing on his self then do a complete 360 and pee on his self every night and a few times during the day! I have tried several different things such as taking away favorite toys or awarding him if he does good> But nothing seems to work!! Please if any solutions HELP!!!!
It should be noted that no one is really offering any solutions here, which probably means there are no REAL solutions. We are having the exact same problem, our 5 year old was potty trained and now he tells us he doesn't want to stop ___________ (fill in the blank) to take the time out and go pee. We know what the problem is, it started when we had a new baby about 6 months ago. I did the same thing every body else here did, I started googling for solutions and I am finding NOTHING, just that we are not alone in this problem. I would really like it if someone with proven solution to this problem would chime in with something positive to say, if not this is just going to go on with an endless list of frustrated parents saying "OMG I'm so glad I'm not alone in this!" Which makes us all feel good - misery loves company - but does nothing in terms of offering a real solution.
i have two sons one is 13 and the other 9. the oldest had a similar problem in his earlier years. he had been dry day and night since 22 months and in underwear.he started to school at 4.5 years with no drama. he did school camp 3 years running without any accidents. then i got a new girlfriend she moved in just after his 8th birthday she did not stay long but she had a lasting effect on the oldest. he did not like her and she did not like him and it showed. shortly after she left he would have the occasional wet bed possibly once a month or so. a friend of mine was taking the two boys for swimming lessons straight from school so he had that to look forward to three nights a week.
then this friend of mine and his son came for a camping weekend with me and my two boys. we went to the beach and spent all day playing on the sand and swimming. bot boys really enjoyed my friends sons company and they went of playing on the sand together. then one time when they got back from the rockpools my oldest had wet himself. he said he forgot how far away the bathrooms were, which he was right but it was not like him at all.
after the weekend both boys went back to school and the second day back he came walking home soaked to the knees. he said he forgot to go before leaving school. more bed wetting followed and it got more often almost every night at one point.
another camping trip was planned but this time we were cycling so luggage was kept to as little as possible so one pair of shorts on pair of speedos and one pair of underwear, you can see where i am coming from. again he wet once at the beach but sleeping at night on the first night he had only been in bed an hour and he got up wet. i put his speedos on and he slept the rest of the night without problem then the same the second night. i was managing to wash and dry his underwear but with cold water it was starting to smell. the third evening we came back from the beach had tea around the fire and went to bed. this time i forgot to get him to change out of his speedo and he slept in them... no wet bed. the following day no accidents and again sleeping in his speedos he was dry all night.
when we returned home he started wetting the bed at night and daytime accidents grew. this went on for a few weeks until every night he came home wet and he would wet himself whilst out at play. he just said he could not find a bathroom in time.
then one weekend i had to work and my friend took both boys away for two nights to the beach again. my oldest asked if he could wear his speedos to go in and use them as underwear all weekend as he had remembered not wetting the bed whilst sleeping in them last time. the little problem of wetting on the beach was not too much of a worry as he would be going in the sea a lot. so i agreed and both boys had their speedos to go in. i did pack a spare pair each. when they returned there had been no wet beds and only one daytime accident again at the beach.
so we had a family chat and it was decided he should wear his speedos as underwear for a month to see if when he wore them it registered in his mind not to pee. and after four weeks at school not a problem of course the younger boy had to do the same as his bigger brother...
we did try underwear again for a week but that was a disaster... so he went back to his speedos and he likes it better. there was one slight accident last week though we were on a long journey in the car and he needed to pee badly and the next stop was home and it was about another hour. he had just made a damp patch in his speedos when we got home.
so i put this down to something in his mind and when he wore the speedos he thought if he peed then he would not go swimming the next day... so i thought if it works then go with it. it has made his swimming a whole lot better and bedwetting has stopped. as a result the youngest has also been awarded best swimmer in his year
OH MY WORD! Seriously? I have a 4 year old (almost 5) that has issues with peeing her pants. When she is at home, she has no issues running to the potty, but when she is at a playdate, or where the "fun" is, she has accidents. Perhaps she does have a "weaker" signal than her 7 year old sister who never has had an issue, but ignoring it isn't going to make that signal any stronger. I am concerned that her classmates will laugh at her when she enters kindergarten this fall. She is incredibly bright, and energetic. We only offer only whole wheat pasta, no high fructose corn syrup, no pop, no hydrogenated oils, the list goes on. She still has issues. I'd rather her suffer a little embarrassment here, then by her whole class in school. We have tried the "ignoring it route, the bribing route, the reward route, and like all the other mothers, she has no health issues. Like I said, we tried ignoring it...that didn't work.
My 4 year old never peed in his bed and now every night hi is peeing in his bed! I don;t know what to do! I talked to him, i put pull ups back on him and said "big kids pee in the potty at night, so as soon as u stop peeing in ur pants you can were ur big kid underwear! I just don't know what to do! oh and he will still try to poop in his pants he will go try to hide and i will say what r u doing lets go potty and than he will go on the potty!! why wouldnt he just say he has to go potty! I dont get it!
I see on most of the coments a 4 years old child started bed wetting after succesfully stoping at 3 years of age,, This must have something to do with the age and changes that happen at this age.
My son is 4 and a half now, he was fully trained at the age of 3, night and day he would go toilet by himself and never ever he did wet the bed, At 3 and a half (september) he started wetting at night. I guess is because he started nursery and was very dificult settling in. He still does wet the bed and I am using nappies at night again as simple as that, coz I did wet the bed at night untill I was 12 and I remember methods my mum used and Im still traumatised by the way she handled the situation, beating me up every morning shouting screaming and I guess I got worse and I got depressed as well so I know exzaktly how a child feels. My son was very upset and cried when he wet the bed, so to make him feel ok I put the nappy back on and I guess I just have to deal with it and take it easy, and one more thing is with my son that he is a very heavy sleeper now that he does not sleep during day time anymore and I guess that could be the couse as well, last night I put him to bed at 7 he went to toilet few minutes before going to bed I woke him up at 22:00 to go toilet then again at 00:00 and did not put the nappy on and he wet the bed at 01:00 and again another 3 times till morning so I should just take him to my GP just to rule out any infekction, and get on with it really. I suggest people should not make children wash their sheets and punish them, remember they are only kids and I'm sure they don't like it when they wet the bed.
please dont be discouraged...I know we all want answers, NOW! but, sometimes you just need to be patient, eventhough it does seem forever..my daughter was potty trained and then shortly after that was diagnosed (because of night and day wetting) with overactive bladder, the urologist in my opinion did not help. They put her on meds for a year, with no improvement, and then the last straw was when they tried to put her on a new drug, that had'nt even been tested on children..wtf! So, I decided to take matters into my own hands, and I found that she had a milk allergy, allergies also bring on symptoms such as ear infections, psoriasis, and..wait for it...overactive bladders..there was a clear correlation between allergies and this sympton..when I confronted my GP he disregarded me, I don't know what I am talking about..okay, so I took my daughter off all dairy..rice milk, soy milk, yogurt and organic cheese were the dairy products..make sure the soy is organic though...and guess what? We almost immediately started to see improvements..we also considered gluten to be a possible allergen...check it out...even see a naturopath, I firmly believe they have much more nutritional insight than the mainstream medical system...good luck to all:)
wow my sons daughter will be anywhere but the toilet, the only time she will pee in the toilet is when i see her holding her crotch she turned 4 in april my son is is 2 1/2 and hardly ever has accidents in the past 4 months or so he has probably had 5 accidents which isnt bad for a 2 1/2 year old, my boyfriends 10 year old poops and pees himself probably at least 5 -10 times a month and he throws his underwear away and complains he doesnt have any i dont understand this, but i think i will take away milk with the 4 year old and see if that helps her
my 4 year old wets himself all the time he doesnt want to go to the bathroom and i think he is way to busy and even if i just change him and say okay then he thinks its okay to pee in his pants that im just going to change him so kids think differently.
I feel you. My 4 1/2 son has never completely been potty trained at night and he will go week on, week off staying dry during the day. I have tried everything. I am at my wits end. I wish I could afford to ignore it completely and let him wet himself as much as he wants til he figures it out completely. But, seriously?! How can you afford to constantly clean and replace things around the home that are covered in urine? As it is I am doing laundry constantly. As much as I'd like to follow him around the house calmly and quietly with a fresh outfit, upholstery cleaner, and a rag, how does that really benefit anyone?
Hi im a mother of 6 i have a set of twins which are going on 5 i had potty trained them by the age of 2 but just out of the blue my daughter just started wetting herself then pooping in her pants.. idk what todo she now doesnt pee on herself while awake.. she did a couple months ago tho poop herself in front of everyone and had no shame but she is in daycare and when they take naps she wakes up wet and at nite she wets the ped about 5 times at least... i really cant take it no more i was very patient thinking it was just a phase or something but it has been going on for 2yrs now im constantly doing wash from all the soiled clothing and linens.. i tried pullups but it just makes her lazier she changes herself and takes her wet clothes to the laundry room and thinks its funny... she brages about how she wet herself she has no shame in it... but it is driving me crazy i just kno i need help and help fast because im getting very upset
ok, I know hoe everyone is feeling. My son is now five and up until recently i was going crazy, but he has recently made significant improvements. Here are some suggestions.
1. Back off!!! If this is a power struggle the only way to stop it is to back off. Your child may be telling you that they want to have the control when it comes to this or maybe for some reason they like the reaction they are getting from you or the control they have on you. You have to not only act like you don't care but really try as hard as you can to actually not care ( i know that sounds impossible but think about all the other problems far worse then this). So, no punishments, no reminders(yes i know how hard that is) and no rewards (it shows that you care). When they have an accident say as little as possible with as little reactions as possible (don't give them the reaction they are waiting for). Help them if they need help but say as little as possible
2. Give them unconditional love and empathy for everything other then toileting. You want them to feel secure.
3. Rule out physical problems. Of course there is the obvious UTI or bowel issues but also consider food intolerance. I have read studies that link urinary frequency and nightime incontinence to dairy consumption. My son improved significantly when i took him off dairy completely. I found it out by accident- i originally took him off dairy because he was having a lot of diarrhea and then i found that his urinary continence (nighttime too) improved significantly. Be aware of hidden dairy ingredients in hot dogs, deli meats, chicken nuggets.........also, if your child has any bowel issues it will contribute to urinary issues.
I joined this website so read what everyone has been saying regarding their children and "accidents". I am ever so relieved that I am not the only one out there with this problem nor the only one frustrated!
My son is 3 and a half. He has never gone more than a week without peeing himself. I begin to question if I potty trained him too early (age 2). He has atleast one accident in his pants a day and it doesnt seem to be getting better. I have tried everything. I even tried ignoring him when he does it and giving him no attention other than changing his pants and I really think that made it worse. One day he peed in his pants 3 times within an hour!
I feel helpless. My son is in daycare and he does it there. I am working one on one with a social worker because she is claiming that he is gifted so he is very bright!
His dad and I are not together and everyother Saturday-Sunday he goes to his dads where he claims my son does not have accidents only very rarely when he is playing. So why is my son comming home from dads and peeing himself at home?
I have read everyone's suggestions and I feel like I have been doing most of them. If I ignore the pee, it gets worse. If I reward toilet use, he still pees his pants. Sometimes he thinks its funny as well so then I'll take toys and tv away. I have even tried the timbit thing from Tim Hortons and often that works to get him through a day at daycare but once he gets home, he pees himself.
I am lost for options and very very frustrated!
My pediatrician says it's normal for boys not to be potty trained until 4 years and sometimes they are still not fully trained.
I know how you feel. My son was not fully trained until 4 and a half years.
I recommend having him go pee at certain times during the day. For example when he wakes up, when he comes home from school, after dinner, right before bed. I use the term "get the pee out of your body".
Don't ingore him when he pees in his pants. If you are ignoring him then he knows that you care and that he has gotten to you (then he wins). Just don't react- help him get changed and stay as neutral as possible and then go about as usual without ignoring him. My son is very bright too and I always felt that he was doing it to "get to me". We have a wonderful relationship otherwise so i really did not understand it. He has just turned five and I really understand his personality now. He like to have control over things and has very strong leadership skills. I think toilet training went wrong because I cared too much and he probably just wanted to have more control over his own toileting. As I see now he is like that with most things (challenging to raise a kid like this but hopefully these will be good traits when he is older).
Your son is still young. Try not to worry about it. I have found that the more i care the worse it gets.
From my experience, we have ups and downs. He has a few good weeks and then he slides for a bit. Not sure if he is testing me or if it really is hard for him to stay dry from years of ignoring his body's signals. Whatever it is, his down periods are getting shorter and less frequent as long as i keep my cool.
We too have a 4 year old who keeps peeing his pants. He's my boyfriends son, and I'm worried something is wrong with him. We constantly ask him if he has to go, send him into the potty every hour or so to "try". Sometimes he wakes from a sound sleep to get up and go, but other times he's just sitting there and pees his pants. He always says "I had to go real bad" which is why I'm concerned. Supposedly his mother took him to the doctors once and they checked for UTI, but didn't find one. Both parents are a bit younger than me, and I have four older children, so I feel like I have a bit more experience, but when I speak up they take it as criticism and disregard what I say. Children can have overactive bladders which means he really may not be in control sometimes, but shouldn't they find out instead of letting the child live in pull-ups? We have tried everything else, rewards, taking away toys etc. We don't yell at him for it, just like I said, I'm worried there's more to it than plain laziness.
My 4 year old son is also struggling with this, but both my husband and I have noticed that whenever he goes to the bathroom, he wants us to go with him. He says that he doesn't want to be alone or that he's scared. Whenever he is at preschool he remains completely dry (he is not alone, even in the bathroom) but at home he has accidents all the time. I am going to try taking him into the bathroom every hour and making the bathroom a good place. I want this whole experience to be positive for everyone, especially him. He is only 4... and there's a lot of pressure to get it right.
Clearly, everyone is at their wits end. I am right there with ya. My almost 5 year old boy is doing the same thing. He'll go a week or two with no "accidents", and then 2 to 3 accidents or more a day, consistently. Believe me, I feel everyone's frustration. It's been happening for so long... and like many others on here, I have tried everything... except ignoring it. I had him help with washing his sheets, to show him personal responsibility. I have tried using "Love and Logic", by making him responsible for his own choices. I have done sticker charts which give an immediate reward for going potty, and a weekly reward for staying dry. I have asked him to go try to potty every half an hour of the day when I remember. He just doesn't seem to see what the big deal is. And you know, after reading all of these comments, parents putting down each other for their different types of strategies ( I say kudos to anyone who cares enough to try all these different things), I have to say, that kids are just kids. Maybe the problem is that our expectations are too high. Maybe they really don't see it as being important enough to interrupt their play time to go to the bathroom. And honestly, the more angry we get, the more control they have. I think that a big part of it is control. I mean, think about it... we tell them exactly what to do and exactly when to do it. I just don't think a 4 year old is scheming to rock the boat or upset his or her parents. I think the truth is "it is what it is". Why should we get all bent out of shape if they don't? Surely they will grow out of it, and all this stressing over social expectations and fears is taking time away from us that we could be using positively instead, showing them unconditional love and acceptance. At some point, their peers will have some kind of influence on them as well. I'm tired of being mad and disappointed at my little boy. I guess I will try this whole "ignoring" thing, and see what happens. Either way, I am clearly not in control, no matter how I deal with it.
I am a nanny to twin boys aged 4. Potty trained them at 2, one breezed through the process, the other is still wetting himself daily! Its more fustrating for me as his parents dont seem to be bothered, they are both doctors, and they think im worrying over nothing!
Ive tried everything and i just dont know what to do for the best anymore!
my daughter is 4 1/2 she will be 5 in aug. she pees in her pants everyday all day, she pees in her bed on my bed, on the couch pretty much anywhere, and i dont know what to do. i bought goodnight pants for her but she refuses to wear them and refuses to go to the bathroom in the toilet. i have been dealing with this for 1 yr now and nothing has changed. im losing my cool with all of this bc she is making the apartment and everywhere smell really bad. she knows when she needs to go bc she will hold herself, but just sit and pee wherever she is. she also has behavior problems to not listening throwning fits and when we are in stores and she wants candy and i tell her no she takes it without me knowing. shes a 4 yr old that acts like shes 12 or something. she gets angry with me and hits screams spits and does whatever when shes angry. her father is in jail hes been there 1 yr and im guessing the reason why she acts this way is bc of him. before he left she had 1 accident a week or sometimes not at all, and she was good then. i dont know how to deal with this i have gave her time outs spanked her told her nicely that what shes doing is wrong but nothing works i mean NOTHING! she gets infections all the time bc she dont wanna go to the bathroom to pee. please can someone give me advice on how i should handle her behavior and peeing in her pants all day everyday? thanks
my 4.5 year old son also does this (he was dry at 2.5 but started peeing all day in his pants a year or so later; he goes weeks without doing it then starts up again, and even does it when he is being told off about having done it before!!!!) Like everyone else I've tries ignoring/rewarding/punishing, to no avail. I don't feel any better knowing it's so common - it is literally driving me crazy!!!! I HATE all the laundry and the knowledge that he knows I can't do a darn thing about it! I think the next approach isn't to get him to stop doing it but to get myself some therapy to stop me caring. I'm starting to feel depressed sat the thought of the day ahead every morning when I hear him wake, and this is no good. Help!!!
I need help. My almost 4.5 year old boy is still in pull ups. He wants nothing to do with potty training. When I ask him to sit on the potty he starts crying and screaming "No, No." I ask him if he's scared and he tells me no. I have tried to put him in underwear and he just pees his pants. All my friends tell me to just let him be and he'll get it soon. I want him to start school next year but he can't if he's still in pull ups. Any ideas? I've also tried taking toys away. Giving him toys if he does good. Nothing seems to work.
I am having the same problem with my daughter, she will be 4 next month. She is completely potty-trained or I thought. After she pees her pants, I ask her why she did it. She always tells me I didnt want to miss the show or didnt want to go inside. I recently started taking away the reason she did it one by one. It worked, unfortunatly she was stuck for over a week doing nothing but sitting in a chair next to the wall. No toys, no tv, no outside. Its been 2 weeks now with no problem at all. Guess she didnt like that much.
My son is 3 1/2 and kind of gets the peeing down 70% of the time but the poo down 25% of the time. The daycare is going to remedial him down with the 2 year olds since he messes up at least every other day. What do you think? Sometimes he'll go 3 days without an accident but when it happens they say it upset the class to much.
It's nice to see I'm not alone. I'm a mother of 4 children. My 3rd son is now 5. He has wet the bed EVERY night for about a year since he told me he didn't want diapers/pull-ups at night bc his sister (now 3) wasn't wearing them. I knew that it is normal for some time, although none of my other children ever had this problem, so I dealt with it. Since he was close to turning 5 his counsellor and I tried a reward chart, which did not work. Tried bribery with TV and DVD for his bedroom, also EPIC FAIL. There is not really anything I have not tried. I took him to the doctor last month and there was nothing wrong with his pee (no uti) she said it's normal until a child is 11! can you believe that? I know many people with many children and no one else has this problem. Now, I left out one thing....my son has had a few (not too many) accidents during the years. He absolutely ruins his shoes, one such time was today in his kindergarten class. I just am at a loss, but I really don't believe it to be "normal" behavior....Any one of you who has gone to the doctors, what has happened after?
I had to add my story. My boy is now 5 and still pees his pants. He wears a pull up at night. He doesn't pee his pants when he's at school. He seems to do it just prior to a poop. It smells like tar and sometimes it stinks up the whole place. He'll do it right after I finished doing the laundry which drives me nuts. I've tried to take away privileges ( no video games etc...) It doesn't work. I am at my wits end. He doesn't do it when we visit relatives, but I am embarrassed that I have to put a pull up on him at this age. I had no problems with my other children all fully potty trained by 2.5. He does have a more stubborn streak then they do in his personality. He also is reading, so I know he is a pretty bright child. Any ideas???
Well I'm going to have to try what I just read. I know me getting upset just belittles him so I don't want to do that. He is potty trained but yea it seems like he's going backwards. I think this will realy help!
I have a 4 1/2 yr old who was fully potty trained for a couple years now and last few months she has been peeing herself and or her bed. she has peed herself at random times during the day. she will change out of her clothes and not say anything about it. She never says a thing about peeing herself until i or her daddy ask her if she peed herself and then she will start crying and say yes. i believe the crying is due to cause she believes she will get in less trouble. I limit her juices to before 4pm and water to stop at 6pm which is 2 hours before her bed. she goes potty right before bed. and yet she still has issues with peeing the bed. I have tried rewarding her and disciplining her, taking away toys, tv use etc.Have tried calmly talking to her about it and just ignoring it.Nothing seems to work. i need suggestions, don't know what else to do really. feel like i have tried everything.
I just read your blog from 2009 about trying to get your child to not pee in their pants, I'm having this problem with my son who is 3 and a half. I just wondered if the 'scheduled' pee times worked, if so how long to you leave it between pees!
Appreciate any feedback!
We have 4yr old also wetting himself in day. He often always had small wet patches and every now and then blips, but now just wetting himself more and more. Coud you let me know about the urologist's scheduled wee programme as rings true to us your situation. Thanks
i know its pointless to post this because there is obviously no cure for this lol, but i do got to tell my story just to vent to someone. my daughter is now 4yrs old about to be 5 and i dont know what to do anymore. i believe she has ADHD because her teachers do tell me she is REALLY hyperactive and it is in her dads blood. i dont know if that has anything to do with the peeing in her pants issue but to be honest ever since ive started potty training her at age 2 shes never really been a "pro" at it. she started out peeing when i would tell her to and use pull ups at night but she has always had those occasional accidents. but as time went on i did bring a new guy into her life and had a new baby and i dont know if she is jealous because i am so busy taking care of the baby and cooking and cleaning for my husband before he gets home from work and just does it to get attention. i still give her a great amount of attention just most of the time its negative attention because she is always doing something bad. she constantly pees on herself during the day and at night. i find clothes in her closet and under her bed. she obviously knows its a bad thing or else she wouldnt be hiding clothes. but i try so hard to reward her when she does good or talk to her when she does bad, ive even tried the ignoring it thing and trust me that does not help. that just gives them the idea that its no big deal and they can do it without discipline, but to get to the point i had a stupid idea one day and she peed on herself right in front of me and laughed about it like it was a joke, so with me being sooooooo frustrated and angry i told her to get in the shower and instead of the water being warm it was mildly cold (not freezing) but it was cold enought for her, she was crying saying she didnt like the cold shower and she will not pee in her pants again, it was about 5 mins in and i took her out the shower and sat and explained that the next time she pees in her pants the water will get colder, that worked for about a month or so then one day she went with her dad for a day and him being lazy puts her in a pull up and messes her up. she comes home and she starts peeing in her pants again, i just dont know why!!!! she does not poop on herself thank god! she does that perfectly. but she constantly peeing on herself. i really liked reading everyones comments and replies but i would love to read one directly to me and my problem and what i should try. thnks :)
i say your post before we went to the canaries for a holiday regarding the wearing of speedos. thought it was a load of rubbish. but my 8 year old son had started having a few wetting the bed and homself accidents he would com in from play hours after wetting and get changed. we did not want this on the holiday and worst of all not on the flight 5 hours!!. so i gave him a new pair of speedos for the holiday and he put them on to travel in. i told him he could go to the pool when we got there without waiting to unpack. instant result. he arrived at the hotel dry and eh went off to the pool. i said to the wife so far so good. we joined him in the pool an hour later and we spent a couple of hours there. we returned to the room and he was dry from the pool so i told him he could leave the speedos on under his jeans to to to tea. later we returned to our room and i had discussed bedwetting with the wife. we had agreed to try letting him sleep in the speedos. the first night he was dry. so we did the same the following day making sure he showered at the pool before returning to the room each night. we had 14 days of no accidents and NO bedwetting. once we returned he wore briefs for a day and came home he had peed in them whilst playing and let them dry and he wet the ed most nights that week. so it must be in the mind but we let him go back to the speedos and he has been dry since day and night it has been 2 months since our holiday. so we will be staying with the speedos for now he is happy and we are too. he even said it is better at school swim time he does not cange after swim just dried his speedos with his towel and gets dressed. he says some of his friends now do the same and they used to wet the bed too.
Night time wetting is actually pretty common for children until age 8 or 9! Some kids simply do not get the signal to go strong enough to wake them them out of a deep sleep. They shouldn't be shamed of punished for this.
I do think the method of waking older kids to go at say around 1 am is a good idea (kids that are 8,9, or older) so that their internal clock may begin to wake them and they will perhaps catch the pee and hold it until morning. Limiting drinks is also a timeless strategy. Keep them well hydrated all day and they do not need to drink as much at night.
It's hard. No kid really Wants to pee their bed. Handling it with empathy and caring really helps. good luck
Thank you so much for the advice...so far this seems the most beneficial. I started potty training my lil girl right after she turned 2. Se is almost 3 now and though I feel like she understands about going to the potty, she will wet her underwear just enough to have to change them. And I, like every other parent, has tried all the other "tricks" and nothing has worked. I definitely think I started trying to train her too early. How long did you set the timer for?
Like many others have said, I cant' believe how many people are going through this. It really does give me a small sense of relief because sometimes you start to lose hope or you lose faith in your ability to parent. It's extra hard in a split family situation, mom has 4 yr boy 30-50% of the time (some time at granny's) and he's with myself and dad the other 50% of the time with alternating weekends. He was using the potty with no problems at 3 and up until recently after turning 4 he's having accidents during the day sometimes and now it's daily dribbles. Dad and I have tried most of the approaches suggested but the mom doesn't do the same things if anything, she actually puts him in pull-ups at night. Recently the son has been having strong anxiety about always checking for dribbles and worrying about getting in trouble at dads. Trouble as in he doesn't get to wear his super hero costume to play in or wear it to bed. He's still there enjoying other things and he never expresses fear or long term unhappiness while with us. Yet while with mom he has lots of anxiety attacks and is always checking and worrying about the dribbles and now he's expressing he doesn't want to go to dads because he gets in trouble there. So the mom has actually asked...well told us that we need to tell him that accidents are OK so that he will stop worrying about it. We just don't feel that this is the best solution. And isn't the 4yr old telling her what to do now? I agree with ignoreing it to an extent but in our scenario the child is constantly wanting to talk about it and make sure dad is happy and of course that makes dad feel like he's being too hard on him for calmly telling him that these types of accidents aren't OK, he'a big boy now and wants to be recognized as that so we remind him part of being a big boy is using the toilet. They've been split since the son was born and dad has always given his son 100% of his attention, play together, watch cartoons together, colour, play on the leap pad...its very frustrating to me because when we do have him at our place I'm the only adult doing the adult things around the house, the child actually refuses to play by himself, and usually wins that battle as well. I sometimes wonder if this has anything to do with it?? I'm finding now though, after reading so many posts it seems to be just a thing that happens to most kids. Now we just need to try the next thing, see if it works and if it doesn't you move onto another thing to try. One question though, how do you ignore something like that without making the child feel or see that, "oh well it's OK, nothing happens, I just change my clothes" won't that make the bad bevahviour continue??
as if you are exactly describing my daughter.. we really want to understand her personality so we can figure out how to help her and deal with her!!
she also ***** her thumb and its the same suffering dealing with that, too.
praising did not work, ignoring did not work, and punishment did not work.... what would we do next??!!
When I first started potty training her, I downloaded an app that reminds her to go potty and give her a sticker each time she goes.. and after she collects a number of stickers she gets a game.. I'm thinking of downloading it again, and will go from there.
My little girl is 5 and recently had surgery for deflux which is bladder reflux. She hd e surgery 6 months ago and still has uti's. She also wets her pants if we can not get her to the restroom rite away. She wets the bed at night and when she has to pee, it is right away. She is on medication for this but it hasnt helped her at all, just gives her nightmares. I believe as a mother all we can do is wait it out and not get angery when they have these accidents.
hi i have the same problem with my 4 year old that turning 5 year old in 2 month he can got 2 weeks without peeing himself then he turn back to his old routine and keep peeing himself and i try everything try staying calm me and my new bf try talking with him he tell us lies everytime like my old daddy make me do it which he like 8 hrs away , or my kid brother is making me nervous, i dont want to, im sleeping when he up every lie u can think he gave us also try discpline that doesnt work he think it fun, made him wash clothes that didnt work, try sticker and rewards and that dont work, took toy away because said he was to busy playing with the toy that why he peeing himself so there no more toy here anymore ,ignoring the fact desnt help get very frustating because we are training the youngest that 2 year old which was working well to till he kept seeing the oldest peeing himself so now he doe it all the time he doesnt want to get train anymore i know it stress related becasuse of the change in my kids life a new daddy, doesnt get to see the other one or talk to him because the other one wont talk to them, and the oldest keeps blaming me for his daddy leaving me but it not my fault and he scared that his real daddy will come get him in the middle of the night so i let it go for night because yes that is scary but there no reason for day time either it up to a point that my bf cant take it anymore he very stress out and frustated but the kids listen more to him then me though i dont know why any other suggestion or input for me to try email me proulx_francine2003***@****
After being one of the frustrated parents dealing with this same issue, I stumbled upon this feed and all the comments. The thing that I took away was, clearly our kids have not mastered bladder control even if we thought that they had. I went back to taking him to the bathroom every 3 hours just as if he were potty training again. It seems to have worked. I know it may be unreasonable for some parents as they work or kids are at school. But, I stay at home and have been able to make a schedule. My son has never had an issue at school or at night. Just with control and getting to the bathroom in time if he goes for longer than 3 hours. I feel like it may help to train his bladder muscles. We've been angry, punished, rewarded, and ignored. This is the first thing to keep the sanity here. Hope my experience can help another parent. Good Luck
"I am a mother of 4 and only one of my children had an accident once when she was 2 and 1/2...." bla bla bla... We too talk to our children and use "common sense" in raising them...
Use little understanding and empathy in your posts or don't post a all!!!
I can't believe the amount of people going through this with their kids!! I thought was just me! My 4yr old is potty trained from Dec 2011 but still has accidents in bouts of weeks sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, and lately seems to be getting worse. I am at my wits end and although I am reluctant to admit it I find it very hard to keep my temper sometimes!! Even though I know better. And night time is a no go altogether, I have tried but to no avail, her pull ups are always full and she doesn't get loads of fluids after 6pm?? I have tried everything from ignoring it, to rewards & bribes!! Sounds to be some valid posts here with good points, thanks good to know we not alone
I am a single father i have 1 son he is just turned 9, i read Motorway's comments and thought this would not work... but i was wrong.
back in February we had a family holiday booked for 2 weeks in Egypt, for months previous to this our son had been wetting the bed about twice a week. daytime accidents had increased from once a month to about twice a week. our main worry was 2 weeks before the holiday we had a long car trip to make. he was Ok on the way there but at night on the return he compleatly soaked his jeans and the car seat, he said he was asleep i am not so sure.
the flight to Egypt was 6 hours and both of us were worried he would wet on the plane and embarrass us all. i showed the comments Motorway had made to the wife and she just dismissed them as rubbish. i said i think we should try something and this was as good an idea as any other we had tried.
the weekend before the holiday i went into my sons room on the saturday morning he had wet the bed and needed help changing the sheets. i had bought him 2 new pairs of speedos for the holiday a green pair and an orange pair. i gave him the green pair to put on and explained we were going on a cycling day out to the beach it was about a 2 hour ride he was quite exited firstly about wearing his new speedos and secondly going to the beach. it was a sunny day but not all that warm 15c if i remember, although it did get to 18c in the middle of the day. we did not pack any spare clothes on purpose we just took lunch and a beach towel. he was dry all day apart from going swimming. cycled home and still dry. he was very tired when we got home and went to bed straight away. the following morning i went in to wake him he was awake sitting on the bed watching TV. he had slept in his new speedos and i could hardly beleive the bed was dry.
over the next week he wore the speedos one day and boxers the next. he wet the boxers but never the speedos.
i said to the wife the night before the Egypt trip i will give him the speedos to travel in and just hope last week was not a fluke.
we traveled on coach to the airport then the flight and a coach from the airport to the hotel, he was dry all the time. during the 14 days we were there he wore his speedos one pair during the day for swimming, tanning andjust walking about the resort. each morning when he got up we got him to shower and put the other pair of speedos on. just to be sure he was clean.
so 14 days, no daytime accidents and NO wet bed. i know it can only be in his head and that speedos can have no control over bodily function. but for us it has solved a problem
since then we have allowed our son to carry on wearing the speedos and 4 months on he has had NO daytime accidents and NOT wet the bed. only last week he told me he prefers the speedos to his old underwear he told me he swims at school during lunchtimes most days so i said to him we would get another pair so he only wears the same pair 2 days and we can wash them for him.
thank you so much this helps in a big way , I felt bad I was taken away toys and then trys candy and then ya nothing was working , iam still in the same boat but reading what you had to say feels like the right thing to do . my son also tells me he likes being a baby and I let him crawl around with his baby bro and talk to his baby bro like that so he has fun ;) but he poops on potty just pees his pants all the time now evern though he knows to go potty my son gets playing or watching his fav show and there it go also he get mad when I say go to the potty but iam not mean about it . I tred truning the tv off and I have asked him why he pees his under wear he don't understand the whys yet ? so he couldn't tell me so sad and hard when you just want your little one to be proud to pee in the potty and not his bum but I guess ill just keep on top of it.
Thanks for your comments i know it was back in 2010 but i took most of one afternoon last week to read this list of comments. i am a single mother of a 6 year old boy. he was totally toilet trained by 2 poo and pee. even at night.
last year just after his fifth birthday i went to collect him from school one afternoon and he had a small wet patch on the front of his jeans, i questioned him and he replied he spilled his drink. then on the walk home (15 min walk) i noticed him grab his willy a couple of times. once we were home he watched TV for a while before tea. when i called him for his tea the wet patch was still there but a little bigger. i said to him about the wet patch, i said i thought you said you spilt your drink?. he just said yeh and sat down for his meal. he kept grabbing his willy during the meal, i thought he will get up and go soon. but he did not by the time he had finished his meal he was quite wet but still holding his willy. as soon as i had cleared the table i went into the lounge to him and he was sat on the floor watching TV constantly holding his willy. i asked if he needed to go somewhere. he said no i am busy here so i thought leave him to it if he wants to be so silly. it went on for another 20 minutes then he jumped up paced up and down then said i need to pee. he ran to the bathroom but he left a trail of pee as he went. i went to help him change and clean up. he was a little upset at this point.
that was the first time of many wettings at school and at home, most nights he would either wet his pants walking home, i repeatedly asked him go to the bathroom before we leave school. one afternoon i asked him before he put his coat on have you been to the bathroom, he nodded. he wet again when we got home. after a few months i took him to doctor for tests. all came back fine. after weeks of testing the only thing the doctor could suggest was he will grow out of it soon. it got worse not better i was having to pack him of to school with 2 changes of clothes. at the weekends if he went to friends houses to play there would be numerous pee stains on his jeans where he had wet his pants and it had dried in the sun. and he would more than likely be wet or needing to pee. the strange thing was he does not wet the bed. After reading Motorways Post and another regarding speedos. at first i thought it could not work. last friday i went to school to see his teacher again. i asked her about swimming. she said OH no problem he is like a fish the best in the class. i said about what i had read she too said it was most likely fantasy.. but she did say the day they went swimming he would not wet his pants before they went. we both stopped talking and i said well he always puts his speedos on at home to save time. so that night when we got home i washed his pee stained jeans, gave him his speedos and just said there was no clean boxers. he did not question this he put clean jeans on and went to friends to play. he was dry and no stains when he got home an hour later. the following morning he looked at me odly as if to say where is my clean underwear. i just are those dry. he opened the bed and showed me there was no stain either so i gave him jeans and we went out shopping. we were out all morning and he was dry all morning. as soon as we got home he went to pee in the bathroom. in the afternoon i took him swimming to see just how good he was, and i was shocked he did swim as well as i do. after swimming we showered and went to change. he asked if he could stay in his speedos if he dried them on his towel. i sat with him for a while talking he was begging me. i must admit the boxers i had taken for him to change into did smell a bit even though they had been washed the pee smell was there. i said well just this time, i changed he got toweld off and pulled his cut off jeans on. he does normally stay in his speedos when we go to the beach so he is quite used to toweling them dry. in the car on the way home we were talking and i said i will have to go get him another pair of speedos tomorrowm he was excited and asked if he could choose. the following day he wore the same speedos all day and stayed dry. that was sunday we went shopping for speedos he spotted a nice blue pair with white sides. they had them in his size, so they came home with us. as we drove home i said they are for weekend and the ones you have on for school days.. when we got home he changed into his new speedos and he wore those for the afternoon whilst i washed the old ones for school monday. now Thursday he has worn the speedos 4 days straight without wetting them. today was school swim day last night he begged me to let him leave them on after swimming like we had done last weekend. reluctantly i agreed and wrote a not to his teacher to that effect. after school this afternoon i spoke with his teacher and she was amazed at a weeks progress. she was fine with him not getting changed after swimming he comment was something has changed his habits so she did nto question it. i know it maybe too soon to say but it does look like a change of underwear has helped and maybe it it just inthe mind. that if he stays dry in the speedos he may get to go swimming i hae promised him 2 nights every week we will swim together. so we will see what happens ofer the coming weeks
Thank you for a possible solution. There has to be some reasoning other than "life changes" for all these children, mine included. My pediatrician even insinuated my 3/4 year old did not like staying at home with me which is totally absurd. Still I'm not sure how food allergy would explain the regression....as my child has been potty trained since two and still eats the same foods. BUT I'm willing to try this and it would be better for her health and our family's health anyway. And it might just work. Certainly nothing else has.
my son is 5 years old going on 6 years old he pees him self everyday for 2 weeks , then it will stop for a few days and he is back at it agin you ask him why he didn't use the potty " I didn't feel like using it " or because I wanted to pee my self " we had him checked for medical problems nothing is wrong with him we have tried everything . there are times I will take him to the bath room and he will pinch his stuff them like 5 to 10 min later he pees him self when you ask did you pee your self he will tell me know but you can see and smell it on him he has gone so far as he peed on him little sister because he got mad . . . im am loosing my mind I have a 2 year old daughter that is fully potty trained . im running out of ideas to do he has gone to the extreme he will pull his stuff out and pee all over his room . he will just stand there and pee him self all the time I cut water off past 6:00pm seems not to be helping because that brought on drinking out the toilet at night or dish water . . . any moms have a clue I have got him in to a therapist but nothing is working . im thinking laziness but im not sure PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
1. we tried the taking to the potty
2.taking away toys
3.rewarding him and praising him
4.making him clean up him self and wear he peed
5. putting him back I n pull ups whent threw 10 a day
6.letting him pick a place to go if he has no accidents
and he does not wet him self at night as much its m ore in the morning and during the day time .
How do I break my 4 year old from peeing in his pants and peeing in his bed at night? He is potty trained and knows to go to the toilet when he has to use the bathroom and goes sometimes. He will go a week or so without peeing on his self then do a complete 360 and pee on his self every night and a few times during the day! I have tried several different things such as taking away favorite toys or awarding him if he does good> But nothing seems to work!! Please if any solutions HELP!!!!
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