4 year old that urinates on 'stuff'

[boysmom]

I have a son that will be 4 in September.  He has been potty trained for quite some time.  Over the past couple of months, he has been doing 2 things that I am not sure if they are just normal 3-4 y/o behavior or if I should be concerned.  The worse thing that he has been doing is he will urinate on different things.  He stood up, pulled his pants down, and urinated on his older brothers (who is 6) bed, pooped on his own top bunk of his bed, urinated on the couch, and the latest was yesterday when he stood up and urinated in his brother toy box which was full of toys.  The other thing that has been happening is that he will urinate in his pants quite a bit (probably 1-2 times per day).  I relate this to him having too much fun playing and not wanting to take the time to go the bathroom.  I could live with the accidents in the pants but, the urnating on "stuff" throughout the house has really got me concerned.  Any suggestions or am I just blessed with a very active boy?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This is not necessarily a cause for alarm, though such behavior can be a sign of emotional disturbance. The key will be his response to management of the behavior. Tell him that he may not urinate or defecate anywhere but in the potty, and that you will time him out if this continues. If he repeats the behavior, have him help you clean, then place him in a time out chair for 5-10 minutes. At the end of the time out, repeat the expectation. The exception to the above is wetting his pants. Do not discipline him for that, but do let him know you expect him to use the potty and arrange occasional breaks for him to do so.

[Chyrie]

I am a child care provider who specializes in toddlers. I think you hit the nail on the head about the accidents in his pants. Playing to hard, children at this age do tend to not notice that they need to potty until its to late. And I agree with the Doc about how to deal with it to an extent. Making the child help clean up the mess is normally very effective, and while you are doing it take the time to encourage him to use the big boy potty, and also to continue asking why he is doing it." Did your brother do something that has made you angry at him? Are you upset because I turned off the television? " It may not be any of these reasons, and they are by no means good ones either, however it opens the lines of communication when he sees the focus is off him. As for time out (the point I slightly disagree with), it can be effective when done the right way. Use this time also to talk with him. But make sure he understands why he is there, and make sure you understand that a four year olds attention span is not very long, especially if they are just left to sit there with nothing to do but being told to "think about what you have done". A good general rule is take the childs age and add a minute. So for a 4 yr old, they can normally stay focused on a topic for about 5 minutes when it is unguided. Any longer than that and he is going to be more concerned about why he isnt getting to play.
Another point I would like to make is this: negative reinforcement at times is the only way, but to make it the most effective you also have to use positive. Dont bribe him, but when he does go on the big boy potty, congratulate him. Make it a point to spend one on one time doing something just with the two of you when he goes all day without an accident on "stuff". He had so much attention when it was time to learn, but a lot of times we forget that they still need the encouragement and praise for continuing to do the right things. It not only lets them know you are noticing but also that you care. Good Luck.

[colep_2003]

the stuff in the box and on the bunk is Defaintly his doing...make him clean those messes...as for the accidents you have the following options to choose:

A) make him participate in clean-up of his accidents.
B) Put him into pull-ups when he is out playing (only do this if it becomes excessive, this product is expensive)

[BuddleiaGirl]

When we were toilet training, my daughter got one MnM every time she used the potty. She did not get MnMs at any other time. At 4, they have the understanding to know that if they are not going to use the potty, they will wear a diaper. Pull Ups are hard to get off if they are wet.