I have very healthy, smart and active 4 year old twin boys. My problem is I can't seem to handle them appropriately anymore and I am not sure what to do! Their behavior at home with me (mom) is just awful. They are constantly fighting with each other- hitting, pushing, scratching. When they were really little they did a lot of biting. They have started yelling a lot and saying some pretty terrible things- they are going to push me out the window or break things that are dear to me. On the other hand they are extremely loving when they want to be. They give lots of hugs and kisses without asking. They use their manners (much if the time) and tell me they love me all the time. I have worked hard to try and spend time with them seperately- hiring a babysitter on occasion so each one can have some special time with me or my husband. By all accounts anyone on the outside would say they are perfect. Sometimes I think it's a case of being too smart for their own good. Socially they are normal. They attend preschool two times a week and they have friends. They are outgoing and very athletic. We spend a lot of time outside burning energy. I need to work with someone who can help me construct a plan for how to deal with this the right way. I live in New Hampshire. Any recommendations? Thank you for your time. By the way- I know this post might sound normal for anyone who lives with a 4 year old. I realize this, but still feel that their behavior crosses the line (by a mile!)
You are on the right track in thinking that you need some help with behavior management. On your own, read Lynn Clark's book about managing behavior. It is titled SOS Help for Parents, and may well be just what you are seeking. It wouldn't hurt to seek out some professional guidance as well. You can contact a child guidance clinic in your area or, if you have health insurance, call the telephone number on the back of the card and ask for the names of clinicians in your area. Also, I suggest you increase the kids' exposure to their pre-school program. They will likely do better by going three-four times weekly vs two times.
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