4 year old visiting father

I have a four year old daughter who stays with her father every weekend.  I work fairly long hours and mostly evenings so my daughter stays with my parents.  My ex-husband insists on seeing her every weekend and I'm not sure if the constant "shuffling" is good for her.  She is very anti-social (some people call it shy) but I'm quite worried about her lack of social development.  I know it's important for my daughter to have a relationship with her father, but I feel that sending her there every weekend may not be the best thing for HER.  I would like your advice on whether I should continue the visitation schedule as is, or work toward a more stable every other weekend situation?  Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Liz,

It's probably fair to say that the arrangement of having such a young child spend each weekend away from her primary residence is unusual, but in and of itself is not a sufficient reason to say that the arrangement should change. More important than the schedule per se is the nature of the relationship between your daughter and her father, the personal qualities and characteristics of her father, how the time is spent, etc. In other words, a responsible opinion on your question can really only be reached with much more personal and in-depth knowledge about the overall family situation in both households.

If you want to pursue such consideration, you can approach a local child guidance clinic, family service agency, or pediatric mental health professional for evaluation and guidance. Dr. KDK