4 year old who has complete fits

[SherryTorbeck]

My son is 4 and will be 5 in November and has these fits that just get worse if you talk to him. I'm not sure what to do. My husband thinks our son needs some serious help. It seems like it all started when our daughter was born almost 3 years ago. I gave him more attention that her since I knew he would need it, but he just acts weird. He can't seem to play by himself he needs either me or my husband to play with him. It's hard when I have things to do, but I do try to spend a couple of hours a day playing. (I'm a stay at home mom) He'll start out fine, but when he doesn't get his way or something goes wrong he starts crying and screaming. Then when you try to talk to him he screams so lout it rattles your eardrum. When I try to ignore it, it seems to get worse. Or if I try to comfort him and tell him something to help him feel better he screams louder. Sometimes it gets so bad that he gets on the floor pounding his legs and arms on the ground and wiggling around like a tantrum. (I thought those would be over by now or gotten better) Most of the time it's over something so dumb. For example: tonight my husband got home late and was playing cars with our son before bedtime. I told him it was almost bedtime so they were going to have a couple more races. my husband looked under the couch and found a car and gave it to him. My son just said that was junk and took off and said he didn't want to play anymore. My husband came over to talk to him and tell him it's ok they can play with other cars but my son said No. So then I told him it was bedtime anyway so say goodnight. He just freaked out and screamed and cried for almost 15 minutes. I even picked him up to comfort him (knowing he was tired from not much sleep the night before because of storms and then preschool today) He didn't want to get held for a while but then finally did but kept saying he didn't want to go to bed. I brought him upstairs to see if he would just calm down but screamed even louder. (Good thing he didn't wake his sister) It took about a half hour for him to finally calm down, but he needed his dad to hold him before going to bed. What is wrong with our son. Is it just that he's tired? Is this normal?

[margypops]

Yes it is normal, children feel very left out when a new child comes along, they have been the baby then they are usurped, its tough on them, you say he gets more attention, make sure it is the right attention, he could do with Dad doing some one to one work/games with him. and you reading stories, having fun, very often the older sibling gets left out unwittingly. When he throws a tantrum sit him on a chair or seat and tell him he has to stay there till he is sorry, he will come off, take him back, he stays there when he stops yelling and says sorry he can come off, you have then taken back control.It would be a better idea not to walk in then say its bed time they could have finished their game and Dad could have told him it was bedtime. ,he was enjoying himself and you didnt give him a choice you told him. Walk in his shoes.....