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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
4 year old with agression issues
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
4 year old with agression issues
by Beth48, May 18, 2007 12:00AM
I have two sons - one is 4-1/2 and the other will be 2 in June. The issue is with my 4 year old. He has a reputation in his class of being a "trouble maker". He does get disciplined a few times/week for scratching, pushing, hitting. He is a very sweet boy and he really gets upset when the other kids tell him he's "bad" or a "trouble maker". He had me in tears this morning when I dropped him off because they were playing basketball and he scratched one of the kids, who of course ran over & told me about it and that started an avalanche of "Stephen did this, Stephen did that". I've told him that when they start giving him a hard time, he should just walk away and play with someone else but he doesn't see that as an option. We've tried having a reward chart with magnets for good behavior, we've tried punishing, etc. At shcool they put him in time out and then let him play alone for a few minutes. I think he may have a hard time expressing himself verbally and that may be part of the issue. I was a painfully shy child with very few friends and I don't want the same thing to happen to my child. It was very lonely. When I try to talk to him, he rolls his eyes, won't look at me, tries to change the subject, etc. I'm just not getting through to him. He doesn't get invited to play dates or birthday parties and I think this is part of the reason! Advice?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 18, 2007 12:00AM
, May 18, 2007 12:00AM
It is likely that your son's aggressive behavior has become a problem and is not occurring within what might be regarded as normal bounds. The school's behavior management plan sounds fine and usually such a plan is helpful. Though your son is only four, it would be prudent to arrange an evaluation with a mental health professional to help you gauge the nature of what is occurring. Is the behavior a result of an unusual degree of impulsivity, is it symptomatic of an emerging juvenile-onset bipolar condition, etc. Perhaps all that is needed to respond to the behavior is a systematic plan for behavior management, but it's well worth the effort to arrange an evaluation.
Member Comments (2)
by mominkc2, May 28, 2007 12:00AM
I can totally relate. I have what I called a very wild soon. He is full of energy and tends to act aggressively at times -- more out of over excitedness than anything. Try arranging play dates with kids outside of school to boost his confidence. Or find one friend at school you could start building relationships with to help give him an ally at school. If you can, try to join on any field trips your preschool has. I did that and was the watcher for my son and another boy. i made it a fun experience so now the boys are good friends. Good luck!
