4 yr. old attachment to items

[xixi]

My 4yr old daughter is a very smart, wonderful child. Usually happy with few problems. Although, about 3 weeks ago she lost a ponytail holder at school and was almost inconsolable. Since then she hasn't wanted to go to preschool. Crying in the morning before going and crying when arriving. She says she is sad to go to school. She just wants to be with mommy and daddy. And I have noticed her attachment to personal items and fear of losing them or breaking something she has. I don't know what to do. I have tried to tell her those things are not important. And it is ok if she looses ponytail holders, etc...  
But her anxiety is strong about these items?!! And I don't understand the correlation in not wanting to go to school anymore! She has great teachers, and I am sure she is not being mistreated. Also she is much more emotional. Crying easily and she almost seems like she is looking for something to cry over?
I just don't know if this is normal or if I should take her to a Pediatrician for an evaluation.  Thank you for your help in this matter.

[boosty]

wow, sorry to hear that youre having these problems. well, what i think  is that kids tend to be very attached and selfish with their belongings and thats perfectly normal. my question to you is how long has she been going to school? did she start going at an early age or is it new for her? if it is a new thing (this is what one of my children psychology dvd's tell me ) kids lose their trust, get their feelings hurt and get out of their comfort zone when they go to school which is something that we all cant really control. at home, everything is provided for them and they are safe. but at school, things may be taken away from them, they may be bullied or pushed or just left alone at times. they learn to be on their own. its part of growing up. i guess what i am trying to say is that maybe she wants to have a part of her home with her at school and when she lost it, it crushed her and she blamed school. or she simply wants an excuse to get more attention that she might need. could it be that? but i think if she is just attached to her stuff , you should let her be. its a "kid thing". she simply loves her things and its all hers. i dont think anything is wrong with her. i guess you have noticed up to now that kids have all kinds of stages they go through and this might be one of them. make her feel comfortable for example if she has a blanky that she takes everywhere, get one just like it and keep away in case she loses it or soemthing cause that blanket is just a blnaket to us but to them its a comfort thing. you may think that i am completely opposite of alot of mother's opinions maybe. but i just like to think that kids need to be kept happy and safe all the time. its like i read once, if they lose all their feathers when theyre young, they wont be able to fly when they get older" does that make any sense? maybe you should tell her that you lost something and make it seem like its ok and you'll be alright. let me know if i am confusing you. hope all works out. i just dont think youre little angel needs an evaluation . thats ofcourse my opinion. i am not a professional.

[boosty]

i dont know why i dont see my last comment to you.

[Trialanderror]

I too think your daughter is perfectly normal or even "better than normal". If they do get attached to items, it only shows that they attach values and pleasant memories to situations and things. Young children who get very emotional seem to inhale the world just a bit more than others and have their ups and downs. Some people say that food colours and sugar can trigger emotional ups and downs but just by watching my 4-year-old son, I believe it is temperament. He has something like a biorhythm. For 3 days in a row he will be invincable, then emotionally overwhelmed for 2 days and angry for one day. During the down-phase he does get hung up on items he adores and if they are lost, the whole world is his enemy. He even refused to go to preschool because the candy cane he got from another boy broke when I opened it. He was in tears fot two days. Then again when all his well, he can give hugs to lego blocks or nuts and bolts just because he found them in a special situation. By the way, when my son lost a picture at preschool, he found relief in telling 7 teachers to help him look for it. Just becoming proactive dragged him out of his misery.

[Trialanderror]

I forgot to add something. I am very careful about taking my son to any doctor out of the ordinary - except to the dentist. I too get anxious to get feedback on whether my son`s behaviour is just a phase and have been tempted to see specialists but luckily we have this site here. I am pretty sure whenever a young child is taken to a doctor or psychologist, she will feel that something is wrong with her. Unless your daughter just loves to see her pediatrician, I would wait it out.

[xixi]

Thank you both very much for your insight and support. I really appreciate your motherly advice!!!!Thank you for responding!!!!