4 yr old boy aggression

[mdhmills]

My son attends a special ed preschool class.  He was prematrure, and has been identified with learning disabilities.  Before this identification, he was attending a daycare and was becoming very aggressive there as well (he was 2-3).  When we were at the IEP meeting, I spoke to the psychologist about the aggression.  She felt that it was due to his frustrations with communication.  Since attending his preschool, he has made progress in the communication department, and can now tell you who did what to him and that he is mad.  Things were much better for a while, but now the aggression has started all over again.  I know that he is in a classroom where he is monitored on a regular basis.  I do not think that he is learning the behavior there.  I am very worried about his after school care at a daycare.  He often comes home and tells me so-and-so did this and that to him.  I really think he is learning this aggressive behavior from the older children.  I am a teacher myself, and have tried many of the things that I use in my classroom: rewards, punishments (time-out, no toy, movie, etc...) but the behavior is escalating, and I am all out of suggesstions.  What else could I try with him?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There is no substitute for straightforward limit setting and discipilne. There is no novel or creative solution to this behavior. Immediate time out for any aggressive behavior, regardless of the 'cause', is the right thing to do. The approach must be used consistently, without wavering, without exception.