4 yr old kicked out of preschool

I came here because my 4yr old was kicked out of his preschool. I was wondering if it was only my son that had behavour problems in school and I found out from reading all the posts that I'm not alone. What I've read here are even worse than what my son does but the question is are they right to kick him out? I was told he threw a chair but he has denied it. He said he fell off the chair. This is the third school. I pulled him at of the last two before they kicked him out.


This discussion is related to Behavior Problems - Daycare.

[tiredbuthappy]

Has he been officially "kicked out", as in cannot return, or was he sent home for the day due to the behavior.
It is not uncommon for a school to send a child home for a day if his behavior endangers others. Throwing a chair would definitely fall in to that category. But for a school to ask a child not to return... then the behavior must be really dangerous or out of control. Given your child's history, I suspect he did throw the chair. I have worked in both private and public preschools. In those experiences, it was VERY rare for a child's behavior to be so extreme that they are thrown out from the program. And where it came down to that, it was because of the parent's refusal to get the child evaluated to figure out the problem and eventually help the child succeed in the environment.

You do not provide many details, but the few you do raise some warning flags. First is that this is his third school. You pulled him from the last 2 before they kicked him out. What were the behaviors there? What interventions were tried? Have you consulted any professionals? Are his behaviors just wild or are they aggressive and intended to harm others? What types of meetings have you had with the school? Have you observed him in the classroom? How is his behavior at home?

There are so many possible causes for these problems, I wouldn't try to speculate based on the little information provided. It could be a discipline problem stemming from home, a developmental problem, a sensory processing problem, an emotional problem, etc. It can be due to a bad fit with the school, but since this is the 3rd program, I doubt it would be that. I do encourage you to reach out to the school and get specific examples of the problems. Also, find out what their expectations of behavior are, and see if you agree with them.

I urge you to start searching for answers. Pulling him from programs and trying different ones can also have a negative impact, as it builds insecurity. Feel free to post more details in regards to some of the questions I listed, and we may be able to help steer you in a direction (who to consult, what to look for in a program, what may possibly going on, etc). Good luck and I hope you find some answers.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, for your basic question----  does a preschool have a right to 'kick' a child out.  I feel they do as it is not just your child there but many others that have a right to a positive and safe experience.  I don't think preschools like to 'kick' out a child but will do it if they feel it is hindering the whole class/school on a regular basis.

You indicate that this isn't the first time your child has had issues in preschool.

Well, my son also had trouble and challenges in preschool with behavior.  For us---------  I wanted to know why.  What was going on with my child that he was reacting that way and acting that way in school.  It turns out that my son has sensory integration disorder.  We've tackled it head on and now he is a second grader with no problems with behavior whatsoever.  We addressed what was going on with him and things greatly improved.

So, I think you need to figure out what is going on with your boy.  Kicking the chair over is one thing the school told you.  Why would they make that up?  Be realistic and rational about this even though it is your child.  His lying about it is common (and AGE APPROPRIATE).  But more was going on.  You need to get actively involved in getting this information and do not be afraid of it.  It is the key to helping him so that he can go somewhere and fit in.  

I'm sure he'd like to fit in himself but just may not know how.  HELP HIM.

[sarah_b_]

Hi schools cannot just kick out kids. They have a procedure that they must follow if they where to formally perminatley exclude a child. However saying this is they have not offically done this although it is not helpful or pleasent I would suggest finding him another placement as you do not want him to have a perminate exclusion on his record so young. Find him a placement that can support him effectivley.