4 yr old out of control

My son is 4 years old. Everyone tells me that he is just a boy that is why he behaves the way he does. I felt that it was more than that so I took him to a therapist. He was diagnosed with ADHD and ODD. He is on medicine for that and on sleeping pills. The think is I do not know how to handle him. He gets so mad that he just kicks, hits, slaps, pinches, and swears. He can throw himself down on the ground and throw a fit over the littlest things. My 6 year old daughter is scared of him and it is getting to the point that his 1 year old sister is getting that way too. My inlaws say it is because I do not pay enough attention to him. "He is always such a good boy when he is with us." He makes me cry at least 2-3 times a day. I just need some advice on how to discipline him when he gets into his moods and what I can do to help prevent these episodes. I am at wits end here. I love my son dearly and want to help him manage his anger.
      Thank You Heather

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Heather,

As much as we can, we lke to offer practical, common-sense advice about managing children's difficult behavior. But there are times when it would not be responsible to offer such suggestions, particularly when the scope of the behavior is of the sort you describe.

Rather, I'd suggest you speak with your son's clinicians in order to obtain some ongoing professional help in your parenting efforts. Parents are the best helpers to their pre-schoolers, and pediatric behavioral health professionals are generally glad to be an ongoing resource around developing behavior management plans.

[Jodi]

I just read the articles submitted by all of the parents dealing with 4yr old behavior and I'm right there!

I have a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old and I am having a ton of problems with the 4 yr old. I've tried time out and he just gets right back up and does what ever he wants to do. He is having most of his problems in daycare. Last Thursday he had a terrible episode in school where they physically had to hold him down, which I believe made him even angrier. They say, he needs to go to a doctor. I really do not believe he needs to see a doctor. When he is one on one with me, he's fine, but it's almost like he's competing for attention and he knows that if he's acting up, he will get some kind of attention. My husband handles him with yelling, which I think just teaches him to yell at us.

I've been told the same thing by my parents, that he does not act out when he's with them. yes, because he's one on one. Is this an early sign of ADD?