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4 yr old potty issues
Hi,
We are struggling to get our almost 4.5 yr old potty trained and to go on his own. He goes pee in the potty with reminders and will go on his own about half the time or tell us he needs to go. The other times he has accidents which is when he is busy or occupied so is understandable.
Now he won't go poop in the potty at all. He knows he is going I think, as he does it right in front of us and doesn't seem to care. We ask him if he is doing something and needs to go to the bathroom and he saids he is not doing nothing and gets quiet while he is going in his pants and then runs and laughs and makes it a power struggle to get him changed. We ask him to go in the bathroom and clean up and he simply refuses and runs and hides and makes it very frustrating. Sometimes when he goes pee and he has pooped, he goes pee and pulls his dirty underwear back up. I don't know if he knows or if he doesn't care he has dirty pants.
We have stopped used pull ups during the day awhile back, and he goes to pre-school and daycare and in the past 2-3 weeks both have asked he wear pull ups at preschool and daycare until he poops in the potty on his own.
We have tried everything with him and nothing is getting to him. We have tried reward charts, stickers, special prizes, etc. We got him some bigger prizes for when he goes poop on his own and he wants them but they sit on the shelf un opened still.
We have brought this concern up to his pediatrician and he saids it is normal behavior and he'll get it eventually. We are concerned and frustrated as if he doesn't get this figured out soon he won't be able to go to kindergarden, etc.
We are concerned of his behavior while he is doing it and not caring and then running away. How do we stop that? We have tried taking toys away for this behavior, etc and again nothing seems to have an effect.
We are struggling to get our almost 4.5 yr old potty trained and to go on his own. He goes pee in the potty with reminders and will go on his own about half the time or tell us he needs to go. The other times he has accidents which is when he is busy or occupied so is understandable.
Now he won't go poop in the potty at all. He knows he is going I think, as he does it right in front of us and doesn't seem to care. We ask him if he is doing something and needs to go to the bathroom and he saids he is not doing nothing and gets quiet while he is going in his pants and then runs and laughs and makes it a power struggle to get him changed. We ask him to go in the bathroom and clean up and he simply refuses and runs and hides and makes it very frustrating. Sometimes when he goes pee and he has pooped, he goes pee and pulls his dirty underwear back up. I don't know if he knows or if he doesn't care he has dirty pants.
We have stopped used pull ups during the day awhile back, and he goes to pre-school and daycare and in the past 2-3 weeks both have asked he wear pull ups at preschool and daycare until he poops in the potty on his own.
We have tried everything with him and nothing is getting to him. We have tried reward charts, stickers, special prizes, etc. We got him some bigger prizes for when he goes poop on his own and he wants them but they sit on the shelf un opened still.
We have brought this concern up to his pediatrician and he saids it is normal behavior and he'll get it eventually. We are concerned and frustrated as if he doesn't get this figured out soon he won't be able to go to kindergarden, etc.
We are concerned of his behavior while he is doing it and not caring and then running away. How do we stop that? We have tried taking toys away for this behavior, etc and again nothing seems to have an effect.
How did it all go in the end since 2007 and your 4 year olds toilet training problem? I have a 4 year old DD with the same problem and she will stay wet all day if i let her.
I'm training my reluctant son now. I swear he'd still be in diapers if I didn't take them away and put him in underpants. He's 75% there I'd say. Rarely has a pee pee accident, and until recently, he refused to use the potty for poop. I was at a loss ... I tried everything too it seemed. But he was just dead set on not using the potty for poop.
Well I recently had a 2nd baby and he has been getting a lot of big brother gifts (plus he just had a birthday). Well instead of just giving him the presents, I kept the hidden. And every day I leave one of the wrapped gifts in front of the fire place in our livingroom (the room we're in most of the time). We talk about what could be inside, how nice it would be to open it, what kind of toy it could be, etc. Then I explain to him that if he uses the potty the next time he has to go poop, he can open the present. Well ... let me tell you, this worked the first time! I tried it again the 2nd day and it worked again! We're out of presents now, but I found wrapping paper with his favorite characters on it (sesame street) and went to the dollar store and bought some toys. I continue daily doing this and it's still working.
Yeah, sure it's probably not the most conventional way or maybe it sends the wrong message about material things ... but hey, he's using the potty! I dont' really care!
Good luck and be sure to post again with the progress!
Well I recently had a 2nd baby and he has been getting a lot of big brother gifts (plus he just had a birthday). Well instead of just giving him the presents, I kept the hidden. And every day I leave one of the wrapped gifts in front of the fire place in our livingroom (the room we're in most of the time). We talk about what could be inside, how nice it would be to open it, what kind of toy it could be, etc. Then I explain to him that if he uses the potty the next time he has to go poop, he can open the present. Well ... let me tell you, this worked the first time! I tried it again the 2nd day and it worked again! We're out of presents now, but I found wrapping paper with his favorite characters on it (sesame street) and went to the dollar store and bought some toys. I continue daily doing this and it's still working.
Yeah, sure it's probably not the most conventional way or maybe it sends the wrong message about material things ... but hey, he's using the potty! I dont' really care!
Good luck and be sure to post again with the progress!
Hi,
We've tried that to and it doesn't seem to work. We tell him nicely and calmy he needs to get changed and he just laughs and runs or goes off and keeps playing , not caring about his pants or accident it seems. I've been trying to get him to get his dirty pants changed for the past 45 mins now and he just laughs and goes does his own thing, not caring or listening. I don't know what to do anymore and it seems whenever we need him to get changed out of dirty clothes or sometimes just to get dressed it is a battle. We've tried to set him in a chair until he is ready to change and nothing seems to work, but I don't want him in dirty pants stinking up the house either, but don't want to force him to get changed and cause a battle. We've been doing that the past months and that is not working to solve the problem. Today when I was at the store with him he asked to go to the potty and went without issue, but he has gone poop since and just is not wanting to fix it. I don't think I am being a good parent by letting him just be in dirty pants but I'm trying the nice approach with him to see if starts to bother him as chasing him down and changing him myself isn't working.
He is in preschool in the mornigs and daycare after preschool and in the afternoon, so they require him in pull ups now so we don't really have a choice about that unless we try to find another daycare that will work for us or one of us quits our day job to stay home with him. We may have trouble finding another day care who wants a 4 yr old who has accidents.
We've tried that to and it doesn't seem to work. We tell him nicely and calmy he needs to get changed and he just laughs and runs or goes off and keeps playing , not caring about his pants or accident it seems. I've been trying to get him to get his dirty pants changed for the past 45 mins now and he just laughs and goes does his own thing, not caring or listening. I don't know what to do anymore and it seems whenever we need him to get changed out of dirty clothes or sometimes just to get dressed it is a battle. We've tried to set him in a chair until he is ready to change and nothing seems to work, but I don't want him in dirty pants stinking up the house either, but don't want to force him to get changed and cause a battle. We've been doing that the past months and that is not working to solve the problem. Today when I was at the store with him he asked to go to the potty and went without issue, but he has gone poop since and just is not wanting to fix it. I don't think I am being a good parent by letting him just be in dirty pants but I'm trying the nice approach with him to see if starts to bother him as chasing him down and changing him myself isn't working.
He is in preschool in the mornigs and daycare after preschool and in the afternoon, so they require him in pull ups now so we don't really have a choice about that unless we try to find another daycare that will work for us or one of us quits our day job to stay home with him. We may have trouble finding another day care who wants a 4 yr old who has accidents.
I have had many of the same problems with my 4 year old daughter (two or three weeks ago I put a a post on here about my daughter not being potty trained, so you're not alone). We tried stickers, rewards, punishment, everything and my daughter was still having 3-4 accidents a day and was doing what your son was doing (hiding, pooping and running away) What worked for us was to stop reminding about the potty and to do nothing and when she pooped in her pants to act like it was the most natural thing in the world, and help her clean it up. For us (and I am no expert) I think the whole potty thing became a power struggle between us with our daughter showing us that she doesn't have to do it if she doesn't want to. We decided, before opting to go back to pull ups, to give it two weeks of us saying absolutely nothing at all about the potty, to let her do as she wishes and when she had an accident to calmly and matter of factly "offer" our help to clean it up and get on with things.
After 3 days when she saw she wasn't going to get any reaction out of us whatsoever for an accident, she just started going to the potty (pee and poop on her own).
I don't know if that will work for your son, but I would try anything other than putting him back in pull ups during the day as I think that will confuse him even more (as it did with my daughter).
Best of luck, it is not easy!
After 3 days when she saw she wasn't going to get any reaction out of us whatsoever for an accident, she just started going to the potty (pee and poop on her own).
I don't know if that will work for your son, but I would try anything other than putting him back in pull ups during the day as I think that will confuse him even more (as it did with my daughter).
Best of luck, it is not easy!
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