4yo daughter is causing major issues, please help!

Our 4yo daughter is out of control. She destroys her toys, clothes, our electronics, has torn drywall out of walls and broken her bedroom window. Not even out of anger! She pushes eveything as far as she can and if it breaks oh well. She also has issues with following rules. She knows the rules and if asked can recite them, but refuses to follow them. We use time out and have seen 2 psychologists who claim she's fine simply because when she's there she is a perfect angel!! At home she's a terror! Nothing we do or say gets thru. Lately we have noticed something else disturbing, when she gets angry or upset she has a physical tic. And she goes from crying hysterically to this blank expression in literally a second. I don't know what to think except there.is something very very wrong. At 12 months she started having seizures when she got hurt. They call them reflex anoxic seizures I believe. She had them about once a month until she was 2. She's only had 2-3 since then. Could they be related? Any thoughts or advice is welcome unless you are planning on judging my hubby and I as parents and telling us its because we aren't strict enough. We value our patience with her but its fast running out. We need answers and it seems no one has any!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Your daughter should undergo a thorough evaluation, including by psychiatry and neurology (including EEG). It is not likely that the extreme behavior can be directly attributable to seizure activity, but the combination of her behavior and hisotry demand extensive evaluation. I have no interest in judging you, but it is also important that you keep an open mind about the changes that might be advised in your parenting tactics. You can check that variable out by consulting with a behavioral specialist.