4yr. Old with separation anxiety

I have a 4yr. Old son and he has separation anxiety. At first I thought he was ADHD cause of his tempers and how would follow me around and cry and screams. "Yes we spoiled him and are trying very hard not to do that know." if he asks for something we have to do it ASAP or he will have a fit from "hell". (If you have a child like this then you know what I'm talking about, "fit from hell".) He was put on abilifty in January, it worked very well until school started... The school and his doctors say it's separation anxiety. Before school started I couldn't leave unless in would sneak out... Then when school started it has seemed to get worse. He gets up and ready for school and he is all happy until he sees the bus coming down the road... I have to pick him up and walk on the bus and make him sit in his seat while he is screaming, crying, pulling on my clothes... His older sister sits in the seat with him to block him in the seat and I run off the bus... Everyday we do this, since Aug, 22,2011... We are going on 3months... He was so bad and upset the bus driver brought him back home.I took him to school and it took 3 teachers to hold him while I ran out of the school... That was the only time he acted like that at school... I email his teacher every morning to let her know how he was before school, she says by time he gets to her class, he is fine, like nothing ever happened. He talks with the consular at school, we have done a bus sticker chart, reward money, taking his favorite stuffed animal to school, seats anywhere on the bus, cartoons in morning, jamming to the radio in morning, checking our garden every morning.... Nothing seems to help... He was coming home in a very grouchy mood so I winged him off his abilfity... I thought may be thought was causing the anxiety problems... He gets home happier and peacefully but the morning bus stopes are tearing me up... I walk away from the bus crying most morning cause he is so upset...  If anyone has had these  issues and have found relief for you and your child, please let me know... I'm willing to try anything and everything...  

We even had a friend put him on bus and it worked for a week,  then she had to go home, when she returned for a couple of weeks we had her put him on again and that didn't work anymore... I'm the only one who can actually carry him on bus and make him sit in his seat,( which might take a couple of min.) if my husband did it, well let's just say our son wouldn't be getting on the bus... Daddy would give in... I know it's not good... Please any suggents would help.... Thanks!

[Chisnina]

I forgot to add, my son still sleeps with us... We have tried to get him in his room to sleep. I wait till he falls asleep and when I move him he wakes right up and cries for me... I've laid down with him and instead if him falling asleep it's me then he runs to my bed.... This is also furstering... Help help help help!!!

[margypops]

amblifly is used to treat schizophrenia and has many side effects ..I would check back with the doctor regarding having a 4 year old on this drug  check this link out   www.drugs.comsfx/abilify-side-effects.html  

[specialmom]

Yes, I was going to say that I didn't know how the drug fit into this picture.  

Your son is 4-------  quite young.  Believe it or not----  maybe not to this extreme, but a fair number of kids have this seperation problem.  The best course I've seen followed is for the parent he is clinging to to stay out of the mix.  Can dad take him to school?  That he is fine once he is there is telling.  If he didn't calm down, I'd say that he is just not ready for school yet.  But since he handles the day fine---------  you just need to make goodbye short and sweet.

Is your son anxious about other things?  Is it only seperation or does he have other symptoms of anxiety?  (in a child, this would look like chewing on clothing or frequent stomach aches or not speaking in a group, etc.)

[Chisnina]

He does say he tummy hurts all the time. The doctors even thought he was lactoes intalerat.. So he is on lactoes free milk... It tummy doesn't seem to hurt as much... I questioned the abilfity and researched it, it' used fir different things.... My husband and I both have high anxiety too, and it runs in both sides of the families... Our oldest son is bi-polar and ADD, oldest daughter
is ADD, our 8 yr. old is ADHD... I'm also bi-polar and my brother is manic bi-polar... And it keeps going and going.... When I researched separation anxiety it said the child with this who has parents who have anxiety the child will tend to have worse seperation anxiety than any other child... Why?  How to cope with this? He is not on any meds. right know, I just want my little boy to get on the bus with out crying, screaming, kicking, pulling my clothes off.... My daughter who seats with him is tired of it. She has to sit with him or I won't beable to get off the bus with out him on my feet behind me.... It's sad and brakes my heart...