4yr strange behavior

My son in is pre-school and when he first started the teacher told me he did a lot of independent play.  I stopped by a couple of times and saw him playing by himself, but then he would join a group.
Our neighbor goes the same pre-school and lately my son has become very attached to him.  The other day the teacher had to physically move my son away from this other boy because he was all over him.  She even said it was weird because it did not even seem as if my son was listening to her, because he was focusing on the other boy. The other problem is our neighbor is very moody and sometime he wants to play with my son and other times he is rude to him (don't talk to me, don't sit next to me).  This behavior from the neighbor has always been the same since we have known them (3 yrs).We have tried to suggest playing with other children in the class but he keeps saying ok I will play with ___.  He has told me so and so likes to play with so and so.  When I mentioned this to the teacher she said she was surprised he had picked but on the relationship others in the class have.  She did say there are a couple of kids who follow each other and play together.  She mentioned to me she would mix the groups up.  
My son also does not pay attention very well, he has a sports class where they introduce different sports to the kids. They are constantly having to go back and get him to pay attention or re-focus him.  He will let the ball pass right by him because he is just not paying attention. I find him looking around while all the other children are listening to the teacher and trying to what they are showing them to do.
When they travel from one activity to the next they line up and put their hands on each others shoulders, my son is the only one who does not. I saw him try it once and h kept lifting his hand up.

Please help me or guide me to help my son.

[nyychic]

My first thought is to have you son evaluated, not for anything in perticular but more to determine if he is where he should be with fine and gross motor skills etc. this will give you a starting point.  Find out if he is acting this way because he is having a difficult time with his comprehension.  Let me tell you my son at 3 (second son) was on a 12-18 month level and as it turned out he is now scoring above average and superior on his iq tests.  He had a speech problem that affected his skills on all levels.  Sometimes this can happen even though he is capable of doing these things one little thing can have large effects.  Find out if you have a "Child Find" program or something similar.  It is possible that your son has ADD but I would not go that road yet.  I really oppose diagnosis at young ages.  My children were diagnosed young and they are ADD but that doesn't mean that I agree with the pressure to be diagnosed this young.  Good luck to you and your son with this.  As far as his friendship with just one child at the daycare, that isn't so unusual when you consider he was playing alone and this boy is seen at home and preschool this is not shocking.  Just encourage your son to play with other children as well eventually he will.

[aim7407]

hey there, it sounds to me like there's nothing wrong with him, except maybe a bit of  an attachment to a particular boy, and that's not unheard of especially with little ones. If he's only pre school age, then I would not expect a child that young to pay attention for long periods of time, sometimes not even at all. That's normal, he's so young, so if the behavior with not being able to focus continues, and he's  a lot older and still can't seem to pay attention, then I'd take him to get evaluated, but at this point, it might be expecting a bit much of a 3 or 4 year old to pay attention or to learn a sport, that's pretty difficult thing for a little one to accomplish while all the time paying attention. Don't get me wrong, they are capable of it, and some will more than others, but all kids are different, and some just simply focus better than others when they are little. Doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him. I would just work with him on being obedient, be patient, and loving. Make sure you give him special one on one time, and let him know he's tops with you. Also, it could be he's very shy, and he's showing an attachment to your neighbor's kid, because he's the only one your son knows well that goes to that pre-school. He might just need time. Some kids are painfully shy, my daughter was, but now has lots of friends. I hope this helps, ultimately, if you feel there is really something deeper going on, instead of just normal childhood ups and downs, then I'd take him to the doctor.  Take care!

[AlamoCityMom]

Thank you for your encouragement. As we do -- I love my son with all I have.  Your words and advice have made me understand we all want the best for our kids and sometimes it takes the caring words from stranger to get you through.