4yr.old pottytraining

[coffeyc1]

I have a 4yr.old knows when he has to go potty but still wets his self. He does real good everywhere else but at home is the only place. He goes through about four or more pairs of underwear. He hides when he poops and tells me he has to go poop when it's too late. He is developmentally delayed. Benn working with him since the age of two. I would love some helpful advice. I tried stickers candy thumbs up and ect. All failed. Can you please help with some good advice.

[coffeyc1]

the going to potty is under control. The pooping part is very difficult. Yes he goes and hide and can't catch him in time. He will tell me he's gotta go when it's too late. He dont want anything but his underwear. When I catch him in the act I'll take him and he will hold it  He's developmentally delayed in other words he not mentally where he should be for his age.

[Sandman2]

   Very good points by both of the above posters.  I'm not sure what his developmental problem is, but I need to add (and it probably won't apply), but a recent study has shown that kids with ADHD have a much more difficult time with knowing when to go.  The study is here - http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/752076?src=nl_topic

[tiredbuthappy]

You say he does very well everywhere but home. Where are these other places? I assume since he has developmental delays he is in some kind of school program. Is this where he does well? If so, it may have something to do with the fact that these programs are sometimes very structured and bathroom trips are scheduled in to the day. A structured routine can be especially helpful for children with developmental delays, and if this is how they manage it at school, you may want to try at home. Setting a timer for a certain amount of time may help both you and him remember to go every 45 minutes, hour, etc... (whatever works for him). You can warn him that the timer will ring soon (helpful for children with developmental delays). If he is engaged in an activity, reassure him that he can return as soon as he uses the bathroom.
If it is a school program that he does well in, I suggest you ask them how they handle bathroom routines. You may be able to transfer that to your home environment.
As for the pooping... it depends on what his delay is. Is he willing to poop in the potty in other places? If he is hiding to poop, then he recognizes the urge. Some children are fearful of pooping in the potty. If this is his problem, I would urge you to let him know it's ok to ask for a diaper to poop in. This will remove the pressure/element of fear, but train him to acknowledge that he has to poop and teach him to let you know. If he is willing to do this, then tell him the place we poop is in the bathroom. Send him off in there with books, ask if he wants the potty or a diaper and accept his answer. With time, he was choose potty. I had a parent who did this successfully. They would have the child sit on the toilet with the diaper on for security. Once the child was comfortable sitting on the potty with a diaper, the parents cut a hole in the diaper. One day she pooped in the diaper, but it went in the potty. This was enough to help her overcome her fear.

[margypops]

then maybe the problem is some anxiety at home , Could he be trying to get more attention,does he have to tell you when he wants to go, can he not just take himself into the bathroom ?