5 YEAR OLD HELP

[frustratedparent]

My son is 5 1/2.  He is in Kindergaten and doing well with academics, however he is having a problem with his behavior.  There has been several incidents where he has punched or kicked other students and he is not listening to his teachers.  He is not listening at home, and we have to tell him over and over again to do or not do something.  

We do alot of family activities, however it seems like he is striving for attention.  He is very smart, however he trys to act dumb, which is very annoying.  He has a 2 yr old sister, and he trys to act like her.  

My wife and I are at our wits end when it comes to solving his behavior issues.  We do spank, however only when it fits the crime or it is immediate.  When we find out that he got into trouble at school, it doesn't do any good to spank, so we take away things that he likes or likes to do.  We are constantly talking to him about what is right and wrong, and he repeats them back to us.  I know he understands, however any form of discipline doesn't seem to bother him one way or another.

What can we do to correct this problem and avoid the seemingly constant yelling and frustration that happening at home?  Is there any books that may help?

[yagerjones]

My son is 6 and also in Kindergarten.  Since preschool he has had problems running away from the teachers, yelling when he's mad and having tantrums when he doesn't want to do something at school.  He's not like that at home.  He listens well and very rarely throws tantrums.  He is on ADHD & ODD medication and the tantrums and problems are happening less and less but I've read that will meds & therapy the child will grow out of it eventually.  It's the most frustrating thing in the world because I've disciplined him left and right. I don't spank very often but on occassion.  He is also very smart.  He scored highest out of all 3 kindergarten classes. My question for you is how often and how long has this been going on?

[aim7407]

Hey there, I just wanted to try and help. It sounds like at least part of this is your sons jealousy for his sis.  You should let him know how important he is, and how deeply he is loved, and that his sis, needs him to be the big boy, and help her learn the right things to do. Give him a role, a job, in the rearing of his sister tell him you need his Help, in making sure she grows up to be a big big girl, and a good girl, just like he is a good boy.  As for the spanking issue,  I think you should spank him when you find out later that he's been bad at school, don't get the wrong idea, here is why I think that.  Because , he is old enough now, not to have to have a punishment delved out immediately, he's almost 6 years old, and knows that when you say you want him to behave, and tell him that if he does not there will be consequences, that you are serious. When my daughter started kindergarten, I told her point blank, that she needed to mind her teacher, be kind to other students, and that if she got into trouble ( only repeatedly of course, everyone deserves a chance or two to change their behavior) that she would be punished with a spanking when she got home.  She's 10 now, and knows that if I'm told she did something bad or mean at school, or church or her Grandma's, or anywhere for that matter, that she will have a punishment, period.  Your son is not 2 anymore, he can remember his actions from earlier that day and is able to associate a punishment with them. If the problem is that spanking is unaffective no matter when you do it, then you should probably just try to find another way if it's not effective. So I don't know if this helps, but hopfully everything will get better.  Just trying to give advice. Good luck and blessings