5 Year girl Behavior

[OrlandoWally]

My daughter is 5 1/2 years old. She is becoming impossible to deal with. Every time we ask her to do something (pick up her toys, get dressed or brush her teeth, ect...) the answer is NO and when she does not get her way she either screams at us or begins crying. This behavior is stating to wear on my wife and I. It really hurts us to have our little girl constantly screaming at us and telling us she hates us. What really concerns me is if she is like this at 5 1/2 how bad will it be when she gets older. Does this behavior sound like something that should be checked out by a Physician or a Psycologist?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This behavior can be a 'simple' child behavior problem, not symptomatic of any mental or emotional disturbance. On the other hand, it can represent an emotional disorder such as Mood Disorder or Disruptive Behavior Disorder. If it is in the realm of a behavior problem and nothing more, it will respond favorably to a systematic program of behavior management. The sort of program I recommend is detailed in books such as Lynn Clark's SOS: Help for Parents. My guess is that you will see a favorable response if you implement such a plan. It is effective in addressing general non-compliance issues with children of any age. The possibility of Mood Disorder increases if there is a family history of such on either your side of the family or your wife's side.

[redavaw1]

You can also read up on ODD - Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  My daughter started with many of the symptoms of this by age 4 1/2-5.  She is very difficult to deal with sometimes. Many recommend clear boundaries and set rules/punishments for a child like this.  Treatment for this is much the same as ADHD even thought it is not exactly the same.  Now they have new breakthrough medication that is not stimulant driven like Ritalin.

[colep_2003]

heres the answer simple, the kid Thinks she can get her way by screaming, do something now or She will be screaming her way threw her life...  maybe take away her Toys one by one when she screams, start with the favorite toy's, maybe put her in the corner.

[problemchildren]

That is totally wrong.  I feel you owe the man that wrote his problems an apolgy...there are many people in this situation and unless you are one of them then you have no right to say that they should get ahold of it now - that is the prolem - IT IS NOT THAT EASILY DONE.  

My comments to you Sir are that I feel for you.  I first of all think it is mostly Girls...from talking with other parents, and from having two of them myself.  I love my girls deeply but sometimes I find myself wondering if I should have even became a parent (thanks to people like COLEP_2003 saying things like they say) I think that it must be me, and that I must be the reason they are the way they are.  

I hope you can figure out what to do along with the rest of us, pray, ask God for help, ask friends and family, ask strangers...I am seriously considering medication for my child - I have backed down from it in the past but I can not continue to live my life like this day in and day out, I have done time out it does NOT work, I have done spankings they don't work either, I have taken away toys, I have bribed with rewards for doing good NOTHING WORKS.  

If you find an answer please let me know, and DON'T let people like that get you discouraged!

:)

[atmywit]

I don't think the behavior problem is at all applied to only girls.  I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about 1-1/2 years--he has a 5 year old son from a previous marriage, and until recently have gotten along GREAT!  We moved in together a couple of months ago, but this last 3 weeks or so have been just excrutiating!  I felt like it was just the adjustment phase of living somewhere different with someone different, but it's become an everyday behavior issue. He is lying, mouthing off, and general behavior problems. It makes it harder that he's at his mom's part time and with us part time, but I think that we've done a pretty good job with her as far as his behavior and what he needs to work on.  He doesn't listen (unless he thinks he's getting something) and is randomly acting out (against what it seems like is any adult figure).  Every night we go through the same headache where he wants to give you a kiss and a hug, but then when you lean towards him he just sits there.  We've threatened for him to give us one now or he wasn't getting one, and as soon as you pull away he starts whining and crying.  I know this is a control "test" but it's getting to be too much.  He's gotten grandma to fall for it every time (I believe) so I feel that he thinks we'll all fall for it.  I am a firm believer on having groundrules and concequences, but we're at our wit's end basically--we've tried grounding him from outside, not letting him ride his bike or play with neighbor kids, we've done the yelling thing, the time-out thing, the taking away toys thing, the talks about "why we don't do that" (which is about every day).  We don't know what else to try.  All we want him to understand is that if you're GOOD, then you don't get yelled at and everyone is happy.  I feel for you 100% and wish I could give you some good advice. Does anyone out there have any ideas of other things we can try to make this "phase" easier?  This is seriously affecting our relationship and don't want it to..... HELP!?!?!?!?!