5 and 7 year olds touching each other.

[momtomac]

First let me say that I do believe it is normal for children to want to touch and know the difference between themselves and other boys and girls. But my problem is that my 5 year old daughter and 7 year old nephew were caught and when asked about it my daughter said that she kissed and licked his penis after he told her to. After more research into the subject it was found out that he also kissed and licked her "privates". After further research, we found out that the nephew had been shown a porno by an older child - hence where all of this was coming from. My question is, do you think I need to take my 5 year old to see a counselor? We talked about it being wrong, she knows she won't have any play dates with him because what they did was wrong and we discussed again who should touch you there. She really hasn't mentioned it again. Do you think she needs to see a counselor anyways, even though she doesn't seem bothered by it and hasn't brought it up since our discussion?

[Liquid4444]

I believe you handled it correctly. As far as going to as counselor, I believe if it doesn't happen again, your daughter will forget all about it in time and it will be a lost memory. Other things will take it's place. But if she shows signs of after effects, then I would take her to see a counselor. Do not let her and her nephew alone again. Maybe just keep them apart until they are way older. Allow time for her to forget. I do now believe the boy will forget because he is older.

[no_way_jose]

i just had the exact same experience. (Just a few hours ago, as a matter of fact.) And i am so freaked out I cannot even think straight. Please let me know if everything worked out ok for your baby girl. B/C as of right now, she is acting like she does not care at all. I however, am a diffrent story. i am literally sick to my stomach at the thought of my baby "losing that innoscent precious part of her childhood." what can i do to help her forget and to make sure it never happens again. i sware i did not take my eyes off of her for 2 minutes. i am not a bad mom i guess i just screwed up. the other child was another girl, not a boy. the little girl was rescently raped (outside of her home) and is in therapy for it. so i know its normal for a child who has been molested to start having those behaviors. but i never would have thought it would happen with my baby. the other little girl is also 5 and is a very sweet and good little girl. like i said i was watching them so close... i guess it just wasn't close enough. also... any words of wisdom on how to handle my husband. he is heartbroken. any help will be appreciated...

[jmac74]

I understand your pain,this same thing just happened to my daughter,with our seven year old neighbor,also a girl!
I don't even know where to go from here,the girl also told my daughter that if she told anyone "she would kill,and she didn't want to do that!"

I am so upset,I am so sick to my stomache that this girl took that innocence away from my daughter at four years old,I did not think I would have to have a sex talk before she even began grammar school!!
I wish you and your daughter the best!!!

Jmac

[lucy4life]

Well at least I know that I am not alone.  I literally just got sick over this whole thing.  My 6 yr old daughter has a friend from school staying over & I just caught them in the bed although fully clothed it was quite obvious they were either doing or about to do something inappropriate.  The lights had been turned off & they were under the covers.  When I opened the door they were both very startled & immediately jumped up.  I asked them what they were doing & they said they were playing house which puzzles me even more because where are they getting this from?  My husband & I never do anything inappropriate in front of our children & we both try to monitor what they watch on television.  Had this been the first incident I would not be so concerned but a couple of weeks ago a different girl was staying over & I went in to check on them after they had gone to bed & found the other little girl on the bottom bunk (she was supposed to be sleeping on the top bunk) My daughter was under the covers with her pajamas still on & she was laying face down but when I opened the door it seemed as if the other little girl had been on top of her. My daughter had a very uncomfortable, confused expression on her face.  The other little girl had told her to turn off her TV, night light & close the door.  I brought my daughter in my bedroom & asked her what had happened.  She told me her friend kept asking her to come up to the top bunk to sleep with her but she told her no so she came down to the bottom bunk.  Then I asked her what she was doing & she told me she just kept moving all around & kicking her legs.  I assumed the God awful that she was apparently "grinding" on my daughter.  I explained to her that no matter what she could always tell me anything & if anyone EVER did anything that made her uncomfortable or she knew was wrong that she could ALWAYS tell me.  I told her she could of said she had to use the bathroom & came to get me.  She told me okay & I made them sleep with the door open & my bedroom door stayed open & I checked on them hourly!  Is this normal child curiousity or do I need to do something?  I am so worried!!!  Please help!!

[no_way_jose]

i am still wondering what the heck i am supposed to do with this situation. how is your daughter acting now? mine is acting like nothing ever happens... but that kind of has me worried? do i keep trying to get her to talk about it or should i leave it alone...

[nickie_bug]

Is it something in the air?
We had a friends kids sleep over last night boy 7yr old and girl 8yr old with my 3 nearly 4 yr old girl and my 2yr old boy.

3yr old girl & 7yr old boy were laying in girls bedroom watching Diego fast forward to her running out saying he tried to lick her "gina" and touched her.

7yr old says she is lying.

She said it was a dream, but then changed it to she was asleep but it was real hands and a real lick (over pants)

I bought her into our bedroom, questioned both of them, made the 2 guests sleep in the room without 3yr old and called the mum in the morning and she came over and we talked to each one separatly and then together, 7yr old then maintains she is lying and starts crying and leaps into his mums arms (which is not normal for him)

I dont know what to do next...

There will be no more sleep overs.. trouble is I am meant to be looking after these kids over the school holidays....

[Harmond]

    At age 4 to 7, i think these children are in their experimentation stage. The girl realizes that the boy has something that she don't have and the same thing as to the boy. As to what to do with it, it is proper to separate the two to avoid the same incident to happen. young as they are, children may sometimes not mind words at all, but by consistently reinforcing them, there might be a bi chance that such behavior won't happen again.