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5 and 7 year olds touching each other.
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5 and 7 year olds touching each other.

First let me say that I do believe it is normal for children to want to touch and know the difference between themselves and other boys and girls. But my problem is that my 5 year old daughter and 7 year old nephew were caught and when asked about it my daughter said that she kissed and licked his penis after he told her to. After more research into the subject it was found out that he also kissed and licked her "privates". After further research, we found out that the nephew had been shown a porno by an older child - hence where all of this was coming from. My question is, do you think I need to take my 5 year old to see a counselor? We talked about it being wrong, she knows she won't have any play dates with him because what they did was wrong and we discussed again who should touch you there. She really hasn't mentioned it again. Do you think she needs to see a counselor anyways, even though she doesn't seem bothered by it and hasn't brought it up since our discussion?
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18 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
I believe you handled it correctly. As far as going to as counselor, I believe if it doesn't happen again, your daughter will forget all about it in time and it will be a lost memory. Other things will take it's place. But if she shows signs of after effects, then I would take her to see a counselor. Do not let her and her nephew alone again. Maybe just keep them apart until they are way older. Allow time for her to forget. I do now believe the boy will forget because he is older.
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Avatar_n_tn
i just had the exact same experience. (Just a few hours ago, as a matter of fact.) And i am so freaked out I cannot even think straight. Please let me know if everything worked out ok for your baby girl. B/C as of right now, she is acting like she does not care at all. I however, am a diffrent story. i am literally sick to my stomach at the thought of my baby "losing that innoscent precious part of her childhood." what can i do to help her forget and to make sure it never happens again. i sware i did not take my eyes off of her for 2 minutes. i am not a bad mom i guess i just screwed up. the other child was another girl, not a boy. the little girl was rescently raped (outside of her home) and is in therapy for it. so i know its normal for a child who has been molested to start having those behaviors. but i never would have thought it would happen with my baby. the other little girl is also 5 and is a very sweet and good little girl. like i said i was watching them so close... i guess it just wasn't close enough. also... any words of wisdom on how to handle my husband. he is heartbroken. any help will be appreciated...
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956542_tn?1246635860
I understand your pain,this same thing just happened to my daughter,with our seven year old neighbor,also a girl!
I don't even know where to go from here,the girl also told my daughter that if she told anyone "she would kill,and she didn't want to do that!"

I am so upset,I am so sick to my stomache that this girl took that innocence away from my daughter at four years old,I did not think I would have to have a sex talk before she even began grammar school!!
I wish you and your daughter the best!!!

Jmac
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Avatar_f_tn
Well at least I know that I am not alone.  I literally just got sick over this whole thing.  My 6 yr old daughter has a friend from school staying over & I just caught them in the bed although fully clothed it was quite obvious they were either doing or about to do something inappropriate.  The lights had been turned off & they were under the covers.  When I opened the door they were both very startled & immediately jumped up.  I asked them what they were doing & they said they were playing house which puzzles me even more because where are they getting this from?  My husband & I never do anything inappropriate in front of our children & we both try to monitor what they watch on television.  Had this been the first incident I would not be so concerned but a couple of weeks ago a different girl was staying over & I went in to check on them after they had gone to bed & found the other little girl on the bottom bunk (she was supposed to be sleeping on the top bunk) My daughter was under the covers with her pajamas still on & she was laying face down but when I opened the door it seemed as if the other little girl had been on top of her. My daughter had a very uncomfortable, confused expression on her face.  The other little girl had told her to turn off her TV, night light & close the door.  I brought my daughter in my bedroom & asked her what had happened.  She told me her friend kept asking her to come up to the top bunk to sleep with her but she told her no so she came down to the bottom bunk.  Then I asked her what she was doing & she told me she just kept moving all around & kicking her legs.  I assumed the God awful that she was apparently "grinding" on my daughter.  I explained to her that no matter what she could always tell me anything & if anyone EVER did anything that made her uncomfortable or she knew was wrong that she could ALWAYS tell me.  I told her she could of said she had to use the bathroom & came to get me.  She told me okay & I made them sleep with the door open & my bedroom door stayed open & I checked on them hourly!  Is this normal child curiousity or do I need to do something?  I am so worried!!!  Please help!!
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Avatar_n_tn
i am still wondering what the heck i am supposed to do with this situation. how is your daughter acting now? mine is acting like nothing ever happens... but that kind of has me worried? do i keep trying to get her to talk about it or should i leave it alone...
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Avatar_n_tn
Is it something in the air?
We had a friends kids sleep over last night boy 7yr old and girl 8yr old with my 3 nearly 4 yr old girl and my 2yr old boy.

3yr old girl & 7yr old boy were laying in girls bedroom watching Diego fast forward to her running out saying he tried to lick her "gina" and touched her.

7yr old says she is lying.

She said it was a dream, but then changed it to she was asleep but it was real hands and a real lick (over pants)

I bought her into our bedroom, questioned both of them, made the 2 guests sleep in the room without 3yr old and called the mum in the morning and she came over and we talked to each one separatly and then together, 7yr old then maintains she is lying and starts crying and leaps into his mums arms (which is not normal for him)

I dont know what to do next...

There will be no more sleep overs.. trouble is I am meant to be looking after these kids over the school holidays....
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Avatar_n_tn
    At age 4 to 7, i think these children are in their experimentation stage. The girl realizes that the boy has something that she don't have and the same thing as to the boy. As to what to do with it, it is proper to separate the two to avoid the same incident to happen. young as they are, children may sometimes not mind words at all, but by consistently reinforcing them, there might be a bi chance that such behavior won't happen again.
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Avatar_f_tn
I also had this happen to me last night I had a friends two girls 5 an 6 sleep over with my girls 4 an 6 an my friends daughter the 5 ye old wanted to sleep with my 6 yr old an so that's how they sleep an myother daughter 4 an friends daughter 6 the 4 an 6 ye olds went to sleep fine around 11:30 but the 5 an 6 yr Oldsmobile just kept them selves up playing around finally I. Got too tired an almost passed out then woke up to my cat coughing steadily so I got up to make sure she was OK an decided to check on the girls that were stillll up they were both under the covers with my daughters underwear dwn an the other girls face down by her private part I was so shocked an angry but didn't want to show I was angry cause I didn't exactly catch them on act but I I kinda thought I knew I wanted to know who's idea I was an my daughter said it was the othe
r girls which us the 5 yr old an she did not argue she said well my mom does it with her boyfriend an she sees it on TV an she also seen. Her older sister do this with there cousin an I asked. What were u guys doing an my daughter said idk an the other child said the s wrd an I expainwd to them that u do not do those kind of things when u r that little as I was still in complete shock string not to over react but I did just catch them doing something pretty bad I talked to them for about an hour string to say everything. I thought was nessicary an also prayed with them to get all those bad thoughts out of there head but I just was doing what came to mind what would any of u done after seeing something like that
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Avatar_f_tn
Please!!!! Give me your opion my 5 year old son got caught under the covers on top of my nephew but the had clothes on an I've caught him plenty times I'm so afraid that my son is homo because he did it with a boy then I thought to myself am I going crazy what dose a 5 year old even know about being a homo.... I need help how do I stop him from doin such things :(
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Avatar_m_tn
Completely normal with kids.  Simply explaining that kids shouldn't "play" like that is enough.  Its the parents that take things over the top and make it to be the worst thing ever.  Just explain to her that its inappropriate play, simple as that.
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973741_tn?1342346373
This is a VERY old post.  I think what is natural is for parents to be concerned for their children.  Child on child molestation does occur frequently AFTER a child has been molested.  Dialogue is never a bad thing with our kids in trying to understand various behaviors.  I would firmly set boundaries of when a child is being inappropriate.  

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535822_tn?1417529476
Are your searching out all the old posts with controversial subject matter ?
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Avatar_m_tn
Not searching them out and its never too old to learn from other's perspectives.
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Avatar_m_tn
Just had this happen with my 5 year old son and his 7 year old cussian. My son said his cussian (another boy) put my son's wee wee in his mouth after forcing his pants down and telling him not to tell anyone.  The fact that the 7 year old knew it was wrong and done it anyways troubles me the most, his mother denies this happened saying my son is lieing even though she found the boys playing in her house with there pants down.  Her son keeps saying its a lie, but also says my son didnt have his pants down but she told me she seen with her own eyes both of them with there pants down. The boy is known to lie very often, i believe the boy has some serious problems that the mother stays in denial about, anger, agression, patalogical lieing (he will litterlly tell you he didnt do something you just cought him doing and smile and thank its a joke when you get on to him).  What can i do? i live next door we share the only yard for the kids to play do i keep my son inside till we move in 3 months? should i call someone?
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Avatar_f_tn
I have a 9 year old daughter. Last week she was accused of let a 4yr old boy put his hands down her pants but another that was just visiting for a play date with another little boy that lives here. The children here have been bullying her for a while and I usually just don’t have them play together. But they go out of their way to do things to her always. It’s horrible really. Anyways. This visitor that came to play with the other children accused her of what I said. And she was confronted by me and the mother of the other child that was accused as well. She kept saying she did not do it. My daughter always ends up telling the truth. But the whole time she kept saying that she did not do it. Anyways. The truth came out and turns out that the incident never happened. I confronted the visitor. And since it was already vacation, I sent my daughter to stay with my family in Fresno which we do on vacations anyways. Well my younger sister just called me and said to come pick up my kid because she was caught. She had my 4/5 year old niece with her pants down on top of each other. And my daughter admitted it to me. So I know for sure that it happened. What do I do? My niece has no history of doing this and neither does my daughter. Although she did not do it the week before. The butthead went ahead and did it this time. And with her own family. Does this mean that my daughter was molested too? I have asked her this over time. Often as I do not want anything bad to ever happen to her as it did to me.
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Avatar_f_tn
Please help me!!! So lost:( My 5 yr old daughter was pressured into playing with my boyfriends 11 yr old son. The 11 yr old is totally denying anything even happened.. I saw with my own eyes.. She admitted to me that he made her play with him down below, and he touched her.. I'm so sad I can't trust him alone with her.. I even think I have to end my relationship to thus man who I love dearly.. I also love his kids.. Again I'm lost for words:(
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm terrified my 11 year old step son and my 9 year old step daughter we just found them naked together in her bed.. When asked what they did they said they just rubbed on each other and learned it from a movie or show they watched at their mommies house ..... They are supposed to go see her for Christmas break due to custody agreement ... Do we have to send them
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Avatar_m_tn
       Um,  they were doing this at your house.   No way in this time span you are going to get a way to legally break a custody agreement.  Make sure mommy knows what went on.  Its not about what they saw, but about what you tell them is appropriate.  
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