5 year just not getting it...

My oldest son just turned 5 in March, and every day is such a struggle with him. I just want to rip my hair out! My husband and i are constantly having to scold him about something...tearing things up, sneaking out of his room in the middle of the night to get into things, breaking toys etc etc... I just don't know what to do. I've tried time out, spanking, talking, yelling....none of it seems to work...he just goes right back to what ever it was he was doing and within a matter of minutes after telling him "Please don't do that." he does it again!!! I'm beginning to wonder if maybe he has a learning disability of some kind, because this just didn't happen overnight. He's been this way since before he was two. Can someone please give me some advice?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Since this has been occurring over several years yu should arrange an evaluation with a pediatric menatl health professional. The possibility of emotional disturbance is considerabe and it would be a mistake to handle this via parenting techniques alone.

[gillyb123]

I had a similar problem with my step daughter when she was about the same age. We decided to remove all of her toys with the exception of one from her room and explain to her why it was happening, why her behaviour was wrong and the impact that it had on us and now her. She had to earn everything back through good behaviour. When she was good she got to pick a toy to take back, if she relapsed another was taken away again. Toys might not be the right trigger for your son but you will know yourself what he treasures most. I know it sounds really harsh but it did work for us and she was a little angel afterwards. The key is to explain everything to him as you go though and really re-enforce the good behaviour. He'll get it eventually. It's not fun though, that's for sure. You have my sympathies.