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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
 | 
5 year old acting out after spending time with his dad.
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

5 year old acting out after spending time with his dad.

by willbie, Jul 29, 2009 06:38PM
Ok,  I have a 5 year boy I get to spend time with every other weekend.  His mother has been calling me up recently after my weekends with him saying that he has been making poor decisions at his dare care (boys and girls club).  She says he always misbehaves after spending time with me.  Today his daycare called and said he threw a pool ball at another kid, called a lady the B-word for not letting him go to the movies because of his behavior, and through the biggest temper tantrum.  Somehow this is my fault.

He is a well behaved child around me and I do not have to discipline him much when I am able to have him.  I do not curse around him, I discipline him before tantrums start, then make him explain to me why he got into trouble.  I just don't know why supposably he gets into more trouble after spending time with me.

Can a sleeping schedule have an affect on his behavior?  He normally is in bed between 8-9 when he is with his mother.  I do not have a schedule with him.  I guess when ever he falls asleep is good with me because it is on the weekends.  But, will this cause him to act out through out the week?

Or could it be his mother just saying this to make me feel terrible like I have done something wrong.

PLEASE ANYONE  Help Me

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jul 30, 2009 08:46AM
I won't inject myself into whatever might be occurring between you and your son's mother, but the sleep schedule could be very important. It is critical that children have a routine, and a stable bedtime routine is very important. If his sleep schedule is not stable he will be more prone to unstable behavior, moodiness, etc. Now it is not unusual for children to display some unsettledness after time spent with the non-custodial parent, simply because their usual routine is altered. Such unsettledness does not by any means indicate that something wrong is occurring in the home of the non-custodial parent. I would encourage you and his mother to always take the high road in your dealings with each other. We know by many years of research that the most important variable in how children of divorced parents ultimately adjust is the nature of the post-divorce relationship between their parents.
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