5 year old and has a problem with talking

[netta_8483]

my friend has a 5 year old son and she is conserned that he is not talking. he can say some word but not a lot. shes had him to the doctor and he said we have to what till he starts kindergarden. before he can do any thing, she worried and she has no Ideal what to do any thing will help. thank you

[Sally44]

I agree with Rock Rose.  Your friend shouldn't wait.  What country are you in?  In most countries they have an early intervention team that will go in and assess children from birth onwards.  His lanaguage difficulties could be down to hearing, speech disorder or difficulties which can also include autistic spectrum disorders.  He should have a wide vocabularly by now and the fact that he doesn't is going to hinder his development even further and will definately impact on his social skills whether he is autistic or not.  I would advise her to either go back to her GP or her childs paediatrician and ask for a referal.  Put the request in writing as that might help, rather than just asking.  He may need to go to a special kindergarden and he may need a diagnosis to get a place in one.  It all depends on what country you are in as each has different systems.  But I would not delay it further.  Some skills need to be acquired by a certain age and if they aren't it is harder for the child to ever learn those skills.  These are developmental stages which once passed cannot be returned to.  All professionals will tell you that the younger the child is when therapies start the better the outcome.  
I was fobbed off by doctors and health visitors for 3 years before my son finally began assessments for autism.  I raised concerns when he was 3 and he got a diagnosis at 6.  He is high functioning autistic but he was saying 2-3 word sentences at 3 and that was considered very delayed.  It isn't going to resolve itself without input from a speech and language therapist.

[chaggy37]

Hello! yourfriend is not alone while there are a million reasons why her son is not talking there is help out there. We had the same concerns about my son who is about to turn 5. We are not perfect parents but i can tell you i only spank my son once and never yell. as parents we never argued in front of him or raised our voices. so abuse as a reason is out the window. we search the net had him evaluated for autism and other learning disabilities for free by the state because there are programs out there for worried parents evaluations are free but after that any special schooling is on you unless you are in an economic slump. and there are different levels of autism. *****BUT BEFORE YOU SCARE YOUR FRIEND******* here are some pointers that help develop my child and now we are proud of how fast he developed.
1. some kids do not speak because that is their nature, attitude, personality what ever you want to call it. and some are wild and others rageging little monsters just like an adult. learn to identify your child for who he is.
2. now a days people do not interact with others more and more each day parents leave their kids infront of the television or playstation they just dont want to bother. just because you visit family members or friends for the weekend does not mean he is having fun. choose to hang out with people that have children the age or a little older than your own child. other than picking up bad habits they also pick up language skills. in case he comes home and sais you are a poopoo face tell him thats not funny and he will realize what to pick up and what not too.
3. speak to your child like an adult in complete sentence and very respectfull. refrain from using phrases as "you want your nana" or "whose my wittle waby" your egging him to shy away. at the same time be more interactive when you ask a question dont let him nod his head tell him to elaborate and explain what he wants. "ei......"you want something to drink........show me in the refrigiator what you want and what color is it? and praise them with an ad a boy when he answers.
4.read to him every night even if its the same book he will learn it if it becomes his favorite. as parents we screwed up on that one because when he was 2 years old he learn word recognition by constatly reading this book we had.... we filmed him reading it. it was so funny!!!!!!!! he probably memorize the story but then my job took me away for almost 9 months that year and she started school so it was hard to keep a routine.  he did go to a  very cool day care where they taught every child sign language to take the frustation of communication which really works but since we did not continue to read for that year he lost it and made his little sign language to communicate to this day he speaks and moves his hands of course he only knows the basics (more, thank you etc etc). but we are reading again and have about 50 books that we buy at thrift stores or garage sales.
5. last but not least patience....... never stop him from a conversation because you are chating about the latest gosep to your friend. patience means to take the time to explain calmly before you start directing the child tell him calmly "i need you to listen" patience is by far the hardest thing for an adult a child does not know better. the patience you show him now is the patience he will grow up with when he has his own kids.

i hope this helps.
chaggy

[RockRose]

netta, I wouldn't wait until this boy starts Kindergarten - is that next fall?  He needs to be screened for hearing,  and by a speech therapist.  A 5 year old should have a very very large vocabulary,  and should be able to communicate easily with adults.

I think the doctor is dismissing this,  where it really deserves attention.

[anomale]

Abuse is always something to consider. I am not saying that your friend is an abusive mother or even that the child is being abused but not talking is a characteristic of abuse. Does he communicate with his hands or nod yes and no, or does he just not talk and ignore her. If he does use signals such as his hands and nodding he may have some psychological issues. If he is just totally unresponsive he may be on the Autism spectrum. You can learn more about the symptoms of Autism at www.autsimspeaks.com. Does he do any thing with his hands that seem strange? Does he like to watch the same movies over and over again? I only ask because these may be signs of Autism.