5 year old bad behavior

[Rachelinpain]

my son is almost 6, he just started kindergaten.  he is extremely bright and was recently evaluated by a developmental ped due to a referrel by his ped for possible autism spectrum disorder.  the dev ped gave me a 6 page report detailing all of the special accomadations he needs for school and states he has anxiety and a possible receptive language delay but is otherwise "normal".  since he started school i have been getting frequent calls from the teacher about his behavior.  he has been hitting people on the butt, kissing people, not listening, being agressive, etc.  i do not know what to do, i speak to him about the same things over and over and am consistant with deiscipline but nothing changes.  he is making me crazy.  i know he is bored in school because he is already doing subtraction and reading and i am sure this may have some impact.  anyhone have a similar problem, any suggestions?

[Natta1980]

What kind of evaluation they did? My son was evalutated by professionals - mild PDD, school says  - developmental delay (he got hard questions while missing easy ones) - his developmental preeschool teachers and psychologist attribute everything to anxiety.

What makes you think that he fits PDD-ASD profile?

My pediatrician is still reluctant to think that it is PDD...To me it does not matter what it is called, what matters that school is helping him to progress, addressing his specific weaknesses and building upon his strengths.

By the way, both of my sisters-in-law were surprised that he was diagnosed with PDD - one has PhD in child development and is a school pcychologist, one is clinical psych. They just did not see him in a school setting -his main troubles are social - he rarely joins activity unless invited, ackward with peers, but his peers love him and hug him all the time - every time he leaves there is a line over there waiting for "hugs":) He does not have any routines or unusual obsessions, has sensory issues, does not like haircuts. has good eye contact.

You can call it whatever you want - many difficulties are similar with mild PDD, ADD, ADHD, OCD, ODD, modd regulation disorders, anxiety, and addressed in the same manner. What make a difference is what you can get out of school based on "diagnosis". See how it goes - if there is no improvement within 6 month (I would not wait till he is 8) - seek evaluation from school/dev specialist

[babygirl6152]

at age 8 I would reevaluate if there is little improvement. I don't actually care for home schooling so I can't comment there- it wouldn't be fair to you.

[Rachelinpain]

thanks so much for the reply, looking at autism spectrum disorders he does fit the profile to me but apparently not to the dev ped.  he had a pretty significant language delay as well (did not speak a word til 2 1/2 with therapy).  

he has been in daycare before when he was younger and i had problems with him there as well.  he actually had a lot more problems when he was younger like lack of eye contact, not wanting to be hugged or cuddled, etc...alot of those things have improved because my husband and i basically assumed there was something wrong and did alot of work with him (i kept telling the doctors something was wrong but no one ever did anything for him).  alot of his behavior problems seem to me to stem from not understanding how to interact with other people appropriately.  he seems to either be agressive or aloof, nothing in between.  he does not really have stereoptyped behaviors but he is definately a kid who likes structure and schedules and will have a melt down if he is interrupted during an activity, he also constantly chews on stuff (toys, shirts, hands, etc.)

in the list of accomadations that were recommended after his educational assesment, they did include use of a keyboard as wel as extra time for work and tests and sitting in the front of the class as well as about 20 other things.  i still do not understand how he is in need of so many accomodations when he is "normal".  i do not think the school is going to bend over backwards for him when he has no diagnosis.  maybe i need to have hime re evaluated through the school.

i dislike public school very much in my area and my older daughter is actually homeschooled because school was not a good fit for her.  he is only in school because he begged me to let him go.  now it is causing me so much stress i am really regretting it.  i know he needs help in the social department but he is already being bullied and they are threatening to kick him off the bus because of his behavior.  

thanks for the suggestions but i still am just very frustrated!!

[babygirl6152]

I am not a professional, but I worked with a girl with Asperger's and she did some of these silly things. She had some of these gifts too- reading fairly early and could Spell anything easily after shown once. (grade 1)

I would still say in general though, a child that is "bored in school" is probably NOT the reason for aggression or any of the other inappropriate behaviors. BUT it could be that when he has free time on his hands he is not self-disciplined enough to behave, and Asperger's kiddos seem to have less self-discipline - takes them a bit longer to train than a "normal "child. So being consistent is your answer, even though it seems to you it is taking forever. If you aren't already, make sure you and the teacher use the same phrases: "hands to yourself", "stop kissing, hitting", instead of generally talking around issues like- "let's be nice"etc which preschool and kindergarten teachers usually do/we do like to word things in the positive but somehow this is easier for autistic children to process first the stopping of behavior, then to redirect.  I do remember too that this girl- I was with her on and off from grade one to grade nine... had in later years a computer type keyboard she enjoyed doing her work on/ she loved to type much more than written work by hand. The fact that in some things you all realize there are some things that can be a bit different and allowing for those modifications will be helpful. Brainstorm with teachers every year until you find things acceptable to you both that helps the child struggle less- does that make sense? I also remember giving her control of anything I was able to- would you like to use the blue marker or the red one? Would you like to turn the light on yourself or have me turn it on? Any little thing that doesn't really matter but gives them control was helpful in the long run.

I guess you have read about Asperger's?
Does this diagnosis fit?
Is this his very first year in any type of school setting? Does he get terribly upset when a consistent schedule changes? One day in elementary school, the morning announcements were to be delayed and we realized within seconds of THAT announcement my sweet girl could not work.. WE had to "announce the lunch menu, recite the pledge of allegiance, have a moment of silence", etc as the principal would usually do over the loudspeaker, before HER day could begin. It was no big deal to us but she had to start her day the same.... I also remember seeing her in the market and she took it so hard that I was out of place-hiding from me- would not speak as her mother kept saying to her to say hello to me- I was NOT supposed to be there- she wasn't really ugly but she couldn't acknowledge me- I belonged at school, not at the store :-)  
BTW the other children at the school easily caught on that she was different but were very kind and she did make wonderful friendships, and even played percussion in the band by grade 8.