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5 year old behaviour
Care giver concerns for a five year old boy not being taken seriously yet mother vents to me about his behaviour to the point of giving him up to extended family full time. What do I do?

The little boy has had social problems at longterm daycare which he left when he was 5
Suspended from school after 3 weeks until he is medicated and the mother was offended for her own pride,
Mother is controlling and absent father (his second marriage)
His symptoms are:-
While suffering from escema there is, spitting, hitting, fidgeting, defiance, eating properly, lack of manors, easily frustrated yet focused on his own in quiet environment, wont get dressed or take care of personal hygiene including blowing his nose (he'd rather eat the tissues), still needs help going to the toilet, hates being naked in front of people yet shows of his bottom and talks about it often referring to everything being stinky smelly pooh or farts, does not like eye contact, inappropriate touching such as pinching, has to sleep in mum's bed with her which they do fight about, can not handle stimuli, likes books but can not read (mother wont address it until he is seven) angry, negative, climbs on everything, great riding a bike doing stunts at 5, throws toys, yet has good problem solving skills, not recognize his own behaviour as inappropriate, no friends and only hangs around adults, Only allowed to watch Pixar movies which he believes are real because they are on dvd, really good with Lego for fine motor skills but struggles with pen and paper while there is no art resources in his own home (he uses mine). He can go to his room to count to ten to calm himself down.
Went to a Montessori Nursery School (not pre-school)  where he was in an environment from babies to age three, which worked well for the 4 sessions he was there, except being in a crowded room.  Mother made excuses and has pulled him out of any educational facilities and will not let me teach him yet loves that I home schooled my own children to University (College in USA terms).

However around me and working on the positive with some measure of trust between us, mother surprised how relaxed he is around me.  Then starts off asking what he has done wrong, while I am trying to advise her what he has done right, while she is saying he is dominating me but can you come back tomorrow.

Yes I have pushed her for testing along the lines of anxiety, ODD, ADHD chromosome testing and her parenting skills. No she wont accept help from a contact of mine in this area because there are already to many experts doing nothing.  Yes I get texts from her after 10pm stating she hates her son.  Sorry this is starting to sound like a venting session as well.

Because this is a private arrangement I do not have a manager to report too, but both these people have potential for success.  I am thinking of being extremely blunt with her.

Advise please
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