5 year old crying

My daughter is 5 y/o and for the past year or so has been having episodes of extreme shyness/crying.  She has expressed activities/sports in the past year but when it comes down to participating in them she shuts down.  She usually will run to either of us crying and say she "misses us" "wants to go home".  She is a very outgoing child at home and with her friends but becomes very shy once her participation is required for these activities.  I have been told she is shy at school as well but is coming out of her shell more. She is a very dynamic child and very social but seems to get shy at times for no apparent reason.  I am not sure what to do when these episodes occur I have tried several things but nothing works consistently.  I am concerned how she will be in Kidergarten next year.  I am not sure if this is a phase or a problem I need to address.

[jdtm]

I do not think your daughter is "shy".  I suspect she suffers from anxiety (probably social anxiety).  The difference between shyness and anxiety is function - shy people function in all social environments; those with anxiety can not.  Note that I said "can not" instead of will not as the anxiety can be so overpowering that the child is unable to function (or as you said "shuts down") at school or play activities or sports events or even larger family functions.

From what you have written, at this time it appears that your daughter is not severe in her anxiety.  However, you might wish to educate yourself on this issue by googling phrases as "anxiety behaviors in young children" or "social anxiety and children" or "how to help an anxious child" or similar words/phrases.  There is lots of information on the internet as well as many books (available on-line, in bookstores and in the public library) which should be able to offer suggestions on how you can best help your daughter.  Talking about it will not work; intervention plans as playdates, excursions to social areas as parks, McDonald's, malls, etc all help as well as church, sports and club activities.  What you are trying to do is to desensitize your daughter to the "unreasonable fears" she feels in social places.  Oversocializing tends to be the key here.

Your daughter is displaying anxiety when she is overwhelmed and/or scared.  There is always a reason for this behaviour (even though it may appear that there is not).  Being patient, understanding and calm really helps her in these situations. This does not mean that you "give in" to her and take her home when she begs or cries; your daughter will need to learn how to manage her fears in situations where she feels unsafe and/or uncomfortable.  This does take time (often years rather than weeks or months).  Anxiety usually is an inherited trait - is there a history of anxiety in her family?  

I suspect she will have some trouble adjusting to Kindergarten next year but if you are educated on this topic, you can help your daughter get ready and adjust for school.  It is possible that you will also have to educate her teacher on how best to "teach" your anxious child.  But, with time, I suspect your daughter will be fine.  If it gives you some peace of mind, then discuss this issue with your family doctor but I suspect the advice will be similar to mine.  In any case, I wish you the best ....