A related discussion,
Is there something else to do? was started.
There are speech and language pathologists (speech therapists)that specialize in "social skills and pragmatic language" groups for all age kids. These are usually very small groups of 2-3 kids the same age. They teach kids what to say (pragmatic or "practical" language) and do in specific social situations through role playing, games, stories, etc. All of this is age appropriate for the group. It may be something of interest to you for your daughter. Good luck. Lynette
When my daughter was is preschool, she was very shy and refused to interact with any kids in her class. Any new situations were frightening to her. She was my first child and I was very concerned. A psychologist suggested I contact one or two other moms and set up ongoing SHORT playdates--maybe an hour or so after school. The playdates were very structured--maybe an art project, a hike, planting seeds in the garden, making cookies, etc. When she was 5, two moms and I began a dance class playdate; we would trade off taking the 3 girls to dance class and lunch. I found that my daughter needed to feel comfortable with just two or three other kids. Also, if you are worried about you daughter focusing, having short, structured play activities will help--especially if she knows in advance and is excited about what activities are planned. I also always made sure my daughter arrived at school a little early. It was very difficult for her to join in with other kids already playing. If she is there first and playing, other kids may join her. My daughter is now 13 and, while still relatively shy, has a group of very nice friends--two from our pre-school days! Good Luck! Lynette
Thanks for your comments. I also try to get her to school and activities early so that she does not have to approach an existing group. I was very shy when I was young, so I'm always trying to remember what might have helped with me. Though when I was young, if another child approached me I would have responded whereas Emily will just ignore them. I ask her why she will not talk to the child and she tells me it's because she does not know them. I've tried to tell her that she needs to talk to them to get to know them but I don't seem to be getting through to her.
To be frank, if your daughter were struggling academically, I might recommend following up on the possibility of attentional problems. But, she is only 5 and is doing well from an academic standpoint, so there really is no nned to pursue the attentional issue right now. It's something to monitor as she proceeds and as the curriculum requirements become more complicated. But, for now, it does not seem to be impeding her progress in school.
On the social front, the most important thing to do is to keep her'in the mix', so to speak. Some children are more at the reticent end of the spectrum when engaging with peers, but she is not isolated. As long as she's engaging in activities with her peers, and not isolating herself, I wouldn't worry. She's still very young.