5 year old daughter masterbating(masturbating), doesn't this seem very early???

I know that Children are curious about their private parts, & we have always told our daughter, go to your room if you want to put your hands in your pants.  We never thought any more of it.    She would usually stop, or go to her room & come out shortly.  I think thats very normal between 2-5 years old.
Our daughter is 4 - turning 5 very soon, & has recently started masterbating (masturbating).

We are very concerned, & feel like this it so young for this behavior.
When in the bath, she has started laying on her back with her legs in the air so that
the water streams done onto her private parts & just lays there..... She says it tickles.
But lays very still with a sheer bliss look on her face...
The other day we caught he using a vibrating neck massager on her privates.

We are unsure what to do.  I grew up in a family where that was never talked about....
We just want to do the right thing, and are unsure if this is normal.  I am worried about her future.  She is only 4, almost 5.  If she was even 10 or 11 I wouldn't be concerned.
help please.

[msbaker]

I have a seven year old who started masterbating (masturbating) at age six.  She never uses items on her privates, just goes through movements with her clothes on, her doctor says it is perfectly normal and not to worry about it.  However you want to discourage it as much as possible, but without telling her she is bad because it is normal and you don't want her to feel bad about doing it, but explain the proper place and time to do things like that.

[chapmanmum]

My daughter started doing this at the age of 4. As long as she is tought to do it in private this is fine and normal.

[momto1Canada]

Should we discourage her?
Right now I am just telling her
that it is ok, to tickle herself
but should be done in private.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

It is true that masturbation can be very normal but can also be a sign of sexual abuse.  I have had experience with this so be careful.  This can happen right under your nose with someone you'd least expect.  I don't want to scare you or anything but you just never know.

[chapmanmum]

Dont discourage her it will just make her embarressed. Just tell her to do it alone as it is a private thing . Make sure she knows not to ever let anybody touch her there, because they are her private parts, and make sure she knows to tell you if anyone is touching her. My daughter is now 9. I only know of her doing this for about  a year , whether she does it more privately now or not at all Im unsure. I think the excitement of it all will wear off and calm down a little over time. Good Luck.

[momto1Canada]

I was sexually abused as a child, so we have always made her aware that her bathing suit / private area should never be touched by adults.  My daughter does not go to daycare or anything like that.  

[darkeparent]

Is common sense that scarce anymore? It is a BABY, the child is not getting sexual gratification out of it. I am amazed by the amount of "Masterbating (masturbating) " questions on here.....

[darkeparent]

I mean a child not a baby. I just do not see where people see this as materbating.

[Michele, Katy, TX]

I don't agree that a child of that age does not "masterbate" or that there is no such thing.  I don't know what else you'd call it but we all have our own opinions.  I'm certainly not saying every child does it or anything.  I have 5 and have never caught any of mine but obviously a lot of people do.  And I must say that it's pretty disappointing when you come on this forum.  I am new on it and it seems like everyone just seems to beat one another up instead of helping each other.  That is why we get on here is to get support or help from others.  Not to be insulted.  If we knew the answer to our questions, why would we get on here and ask??  Just an observation....

[Dad2Maria]

Everychildren dont have the same behavior, I have a daugther who is 4 1/2 years old and never i have seen her doing it and I am at home all the time with her, what she sometime  touch her private part trying to look what she has there, She does this when she is naked, ready to take a bath, my behavior is  getting her attencion to do another thing  like saying to her come here to take  a bath soon, but never saying to her  dont do that or yelling at her. I will suggest  you  to get  your daughther's attention when she is doing it and envolve her in a game or activite that shelike to do but never yelling or saying dont do that, the most you say a child dont do something  the most they will. But very important is to known really the reason why  your daugther is doing it because she  could be been molestered, this is a sing of this too, and remenber children are molester mainly for  relatives or friend or someone very close to the family in the most cases. I hope everything is fine  with your daugther, I wish you the best. Sorry for my english its not my firts languaje.

[Dad2Maria]

I would like to add that I am very  very agree with Michele Katy, She is rigth when she says" It is true that masturbation can be very normal but can also be a sign of sexual abuse.  I have had experience with this so be careful.  This can happen right under your nose with someone you'd least expect.  I don't want to scare you or anything but you just never know".
I am Social Worker  and  unfortunally this is a reallity that most of the parents can not see o realize soon, most of then parent realize that their children are being molestring very late after years unfortunally. Parents expect that child are able to say to them wether they are being molestered, but children are very vulnerable and  because  of this molester take advantege of them. Again I hope this is not yor case but please keep  on eyes to your daugther. Good luck.

[sweetgal78]

i started masturbating at 5 - i remember it plain as day it did feel good thats why i did it, so much i rubbed myself till i
"it" was swollen and red, had to go to the doctor - i was also sexually abused by my baby sitter the year before that - i tried to tell my mom but she didnt believe me - im fine (age 31) but ive never forgotten it and i never stopped masterbating (masturbating)

[Caitlin290]

I masterbated at the age of 4, never sexually abused or anything. I am only 21 now and remember it vividly, I got such pleasure out of it, and yes did experience orgasms. Every night I could not go to bed until I had succeeded in having one, I didnt understand what it meant but I would sleep like a baby after and I still have the same exact orgasm now (not to be graphic). For parents dealing with this with their child. Please do not punish them, be sensitive, my parents would yell at me and make me feel ashamed and embarrassed. This took alot out of my self esteem and I still have alot of emotionally sexual problems becuase of the way my parents handled this.  

[abs001]

child maturbation is definitely a real thing, in response to "darkeparent" and yes they do receive satisfaction from it. i started doing these same things around the same age. although i didn't know it at the time, i was having orgasms - it is very possible and very real. there is nothing to worry about though, it's completely normal in children

[staycie040]

My five yr old step daughter has humped on pillows since she was over 1 yr old. She now lives with her father and I and she was placed in the foster care system at birth by her natural mother. We found out last yr when we gained custody of her that she molested by her teenage foster brother. When we told the councelor about this behavior we were told that it is normal but now I know it is more about her being molested by the ex-foster brother. It is so sad that her father and I could not prevent this from happening. She in now 5 yrs old going on 6 and still continues to do this in private. What do you think?

[jamnavywife]

Well... there are a lot of comments already on this topic, and I cant ad a whole lot but I will say that in my many years of working with young children (in daycares and preschools / ages 2-6) I have seen quite a few children who have done this. I also have a close family member who is 6 and still does it. Doctors pretty much all say the same, that its normal. I too would just suggest telling her where and when is the right time for it. And that only she is to touch herself there. Telling her not to do it or making her feel "naughty" for doing it only causes more problems. I too grew up in a family that doesnt talk about that sort of thing and I would suggest doing the opposite. Talk to your daughter, even at this early age, and make her feel comfortable talking to you. Just my advise though, im not an expert:)

Good luck!

[Ari9a]

I started masterbating (masturbating) with a blinket when I was 3 maybe 4. I didn't know what it was, I just new it felt so good. However I never did it I front of anybody because, I had a sense that it was an embarrassing act and would stop whenever anyone would come by. I just kept doing it for years unknowing till I figured out what it was when I was 13.

[timidbird100]

This is why you had the problem in the first place - some children never masturbate, because parents never leave them unattendent - they make their life interesting and always give directions. But some children like to take it in their "own sweaty hands" This is why you have problems now and will always have. Grow your body till time when you can share it proudly with OTHERS. Some parents observe their kids roll on top of each other and lough - saying thay investigate their bodies. No they do not investigate, they already saw you doing it and trying to practice it. Children just your or someone close (or TV) reflection. Come on. Get real.

[timidbird100]

This is why you had the problem in the first place - some children never masturbate, because parents never leave them unattendent - they make their life interesting and always give directions. But some children like to take it in their "own sweaty hands" This is why you have problems now and will always have. Grow your body till time when you can share it proudly with OTHERS. Some parents observe their kids roll on top of each other and lough - saying thay investigate their bodies. No they do not investigate, they already saw you doing it and trying to practice it. Children just your or someone close (or TV) reflection. Come on. Get real.

[timidbird100]

This is why you had the problem in the first place - some children never masturbate, because parents never leave them unattendent - they make their life interesting and always give directions. But some children like to take it in their "own sweaty hands" This is why you have problems now and will always have. Grow your body till time when you can share it proudly with OTHERS. Some parents observe their kids roll on top of each other and lough - saying thay investigate their bodies. No they do not investigate, they already saw you doing it and trying to practice it. Children just your or someone close (or TV) reflection. Come on. Get real.

[starlight902]

hello i need some of the best advice please , ok my 4 year old step daughter is masturbating cause her 9 year old brother was molesting her and we didnt know till this year so i dont know how long its been going on but we removed her from her moms where it was happining at and he's going for custody but she is still doing it and it kills us to know that she even knows as much as she knows at her age but obviously we cant do anything about it now that she knows it from being tot by her brother but how exactly do we deal with it and it just makes us want to cry cause we couldnt save her innocinse of being a little girl please advice ?

[natcat16]

i totaly disagree with you.
because i actually started masterbating (masturbating) at the age around 4. i remember not understanding it but the good feeling of stimulation i remeber. and its the EXACT one that i have when i masterbate now (i am 17 now). But i never done it so that everyone saw, i was quite private about it but i did it quite a lot. and i havent stoped masterbating (masturbating) ever since.
But the strange thing is i have been sexually harrased around the age of 4/5 aswell but i started masterbating (masturbating) before it happened so im not sure about the thing that people say if you get sexually abused then thats what causes it.

[starlite1979]

get a clue, no sexual gratification. A child even at the age of 4 gets relief, pleasure, from masterbation (masturbation). They just dont view it as the perverted world around them does. They dont understand why they get that feeling, but they know they like it. I am now 33 when I was 4 I was in the same situation. Granted I didnt let others know, I keep it private. I wasnt hurting anyone and so forth. I now have a daughter who when she was just 1 year old would hunch the straps of the car seat, or the center piece on the store buggy. Masterbation (masturbation) isnt bad regardless, just have to know proper place and time.