5 year old having issues in school

Hi,
  My son goes to full day kinder garden program, he is going to this school for three years now. Recently, I'm getting complains from the teacher that he is punching and hitting other kids.
Yesterday (I was little far away) in front of me, my son pushed (gently) other girl in his class and immediately girl called the teacher and said my son pushed him. My son said that she called him "cocohead" that's why he pushed him but didn';t apologize at first even though teacher said. I told him to use your words not hands..later he apologized.
Today I got a call from the teacher saying that he punched other kid. First he denied his action, later on he admit that he did. He didn't apologize though. Teacher told me to pick him up early today because of his behavior.  I asked my son why he punched the other kid (he is a good friend of him), he said I was telling him something and he didn't answer. I again told him to use his words not hands. I just sent him to his room for the rest of the day now.
I just don't know how to handle this. why he lies initially? How can I teach him to keep hands to yourself?

Thanks,

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

If this represents a childhood behavior problem and is not symptomatic of an emotional disorder, a straightforward behavior management plan should remedy it. It would make sense to arrange an evaluation with a child psychologist or other pediatric menatl health professional to rule out the presence of an emotional disorder. If that occurs, then the way the behavior is managed at school will be the most important factor in achieving improvement. Whenever your son acts in an aggressive fashion he should be removed from the other children and placed in time out. The time out should extend from five-ten minutes and be tracked with a digital timer. At the conclusion of the time out your son should do something positive for the child he hurt, and this should be followed by a period of play by himself before he is permitted to be next to any other child. Adherence to such a plan will improve his impulse control and eliminate the hitting. At home you can support the school's efforts by making some privilege (e.g., watching television) contingent on behaving safely at school.

[therealbill]

Some children do this hitting and some come home to beat up on their sisters and brothers.  It can go away or get worse as it did with my son until it gets cronic (chronic). You don't want this.

Get your son to a psyhiatrist now and if counseling is prescribed. Do it and keep up with it. Overcoming this problem comes down to controling NOW not when its out of control. Schools sometimes move these kids to special education environment with kids much like yours - the all do the same thing - they in my opinion, like my son, reinforce the bad behavior. Well, since the problem was in the home, my X wife and the school system had to put him in a private institute for cognitive restructure to stop him from being so violent. Terrible for him and us both.  

So, if you have or plan to have more kids. Expect this behavior to move into the home mostly if the school can get him under control like mine, he simply went after his brother and sister and believe it or not; MOM.  Very important DAD be around and be firm but not correct with violence - spanking etc. This adds into the hit and get my way problem.

GO NOW TO COUNSELING and stick with it. Make it a priority - a lesson my X wife wishes she followed !  

GOOD LUCK, BILL

[shawnys_grl]

My first question would be, Does he see anything like this at home?  And not necessarily IN the home, but also with siblings, friends, and neighbors.  If he sees it at all, I'd think he'd be likely to act out like that.  If that's the case, keep him away from any sort of aggressive behavior.  If keeping him away is not possible, I'd suggest that everytime he sees anybody else displaying any sort of agressive behavior, explain to him what that person did wrong, why it's wrong, and why he shouldn't act the same way.

If that's not the case, I think the doctor has some very good advice.  :)