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5 year old jabs others in private parts

My son will jab people in the private parts and laugh. He does it at home and I tell him it's not acceptable, but he continues to do it. He has done it a few times at school. On two separate occasions he did it to the same boy. The school informed me that they notified the other childs parents and plan to put my son on a behavior plan. My question is...is it normal for a 5 year old to jab anothers private and laugh? I try to make him understand not to do it, but to no avail. The school states that he has touched the other child, which seems to insinuate something a lot more sinister. When I asked for clarification on the extent of the "touching" they laughed and thought it was an odd question to ask.
Best Answer
189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
     I think that he did it and got a response.  He thinks that it is funny how people react.  He needs immediate consequences for his action.  Hopefully, this is what the school behavioral plan is.  
     If he does it at home, don't tell him its not acceptable and drop it.  He needs to go to an immediate timeout everytime he does it.  Afterwards, you can explain why its not a good idea.    But at this age, explanations don't really work that well.  Thats why you need the immediate reinforcement.  
     And to answer your question.  I don't think its anything sinister.  He did it, got a response, and repeated. Its not unusual.  I think that is also the way the school is looking at it.  5 and 6 year old boys are at a wonderful, crazy age.  This won't be the first problem with him I bet.
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Avatar universal
We called the school several times and never got a response. Therefore, I sent an email. After which I received a call from the school counselor. According to her no one witnessed the actual touching, but the little boy reported it to someone in the cafeteria.  When my son was questioned he admitted to the touching. I inquired as to whether the first incident occurred in the cafeteria too.  She said it had happened there before. Naturally, I asked if seats are assigned at lunch to which she started to respond yes then changed it to some times. I questioned why my son was allowed the sit next to this child if there were a problem. I was told he needs to learn to deal with real life situations like this.

I mentioned the other child in his class who he claims touched him and she said she knew nothing about it and I would need to talk to his teacher.  Maybe I expect too much, but I thought the teacher and counselor would be working together on this. I let her know that I have asked my son to stay away from those children. She was very much against this. She insisted he needs to try to be friends with these children. Naturally, I asked her if she honestly thinks the parents of the child he touched is telling their son its okay for him to play with mine? She told me that all the kids are always very nice to my son and that he only perceives some of them not liking him. I did not agree. Five year olds are not always nice. Kids can be mean to each other, especially when they are learning to control their behavior. I understand that as normal. However, I do not think my son should be forced to socialize with kids that cause him stress. To me that is insane.

She refuses to believe he is copying someone. I know my son, he copies everything in detail. How can she say that. I even told her how he says things I know he did not get from home, like "smell my weiner."

She actually said that in kinder it is normal for kids to act out of impulse, but she belives my son thinks before he acts. I almost felt like she was saying he has severe mental issues. I am very upset and today my son tells me that he sits alone at a table for lunch, by his own choice.

As for the teacher....still waiting for a response.



Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
Thats good you need some answers from them someone has definately doing this to your child he is copying, its time you got to the bottom of it, let us know what they say ...
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I suppose the administration is the principle. I have spoken to the school counselor, but I am not sure who is making the decisions. Dad is definitely around and he will be calling to seek answers tomorrow. thx
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
in That case I would say that you do as she said and speak to the administration..,you need to know what is going on ,when a 5 year old is doing this, and you know it comes from a child at school , you demand some answers, Is his Dada  round if so take him with you to the school and speak to the principle , tell her/him what you have told us .
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
The teacher refuses to speak to me. She communicates only through notes. When I send her emails she responds telling me to talk to the school administration. I do not trust this behavior. I have always been able to get responses from my kids teachers. My son says the child who started this jabbing is a bad person. That makes me think my son has been told he is a bad person. After he told me where he learned this behavior he became very happy, like he released and felt good. When I tried to talk about it today he got aggitated and said he didn't want to talk about it. I dropped the subject. I am upset that they are informing a classmates parents about this especially since I do not know what they will be told.
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
It may also be a good idea to speak to the teacher as this shouldn't be going on in class, they are in control there . I don't think its an issue to be ignored it will continue and you may have a parent knocking on the door, if the school aren't interested perhaps speak to the parents of the child he is copying ...good luck
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Avatar universal
Thank you for your responses. I was finally able to get my son to tell me that he is copying this behavior from another child in the class. He told me the other child jabs him and other classmates. I do not understand why the school did not inform me. I also think you are right in that he gets a reaction. He has two older sisters and he does it to them as well as me and my husband. My oldest daughter who is 14 gets very angry. My husband and I ignore it, thinking it would go away. We decided yesterday that he will be punished immediatel


y if he does it again.
Helpful - 0
535822 tn?1443976780
I think that maybe someone has done this to him and he is copying, you say he does it at home ,who does he do it to , has he an older sibling, is there a babysitter ?
Helpful - 0
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