5 year old misbehaves at school but not at home - not an only child
I am in charge of supervision for several children and have a 5 year old boy that misbehaves at school but not at home. He has a older brother that is 9. You can explain to him what he did wrong and within a minute he is doing it again and continues with other behaviors as well that he has been corrected for.
He shows nor remorse for his poor behavior and is not violent or aggressive.
He is a wonderful child and intelligent - not over intelligent. I do not see signs of ADD or ADHD although his brother has ADD. They still seem to be two different children so no similarities between the two.
His behavior got worse when his parents went out of town. they left the night before and the next day for 2-3 weeks now he is consistenly being corrected, typically for the same things. He has since started lying but I point out that the punishment will be worse if he lies then he tells the truth. Again I see no remorse.
It is alienating other children because he now has a reputation for poor behavior so they either tell on him for everything or don't play with him. this is not as severe as it sounds.
He is always smiling even when he is in trouble - again no remorse.
He was sent home due to showing other kids his private parts in the bathroom. I gave the first warning and explained the appropriate behavior. It happened again the next day and he was sent home. 5 days later it happened again. No remorse.
Parents do discipline and are at their wits end, as we all are.
He is a loving child and will hug and kiss anyone which was uncomfortable for the other children because he would not ask just hug and kiss them and so we and the parents worked on the personal space issue and that seems to be under control.
Please give me some insight as to what the issue could be and how to help him.
there are in his class 10 other kids - 5 girls and 5 boys so total 11 kids, all 5-6 yrs old
in my supervision there are 20-30 kids ranging from kindergarten to 7th grade and varies boy girl ratio mostly even
I am not seeing this repetitive behavior with any of the other children and if any had to got to the principal it stops it real quick - in his case that is becoming the norm and never see remorse even first visit to principal
You say he, "misbehaves at school but not at home." Yet, you also say, "Parents do discipline and are at their wits end, as we all are." Question is, are the parents disciplining him for what he does at home or at school? He is too young for the parents to discipline him for what he does at school. Discipline must be immediate at this age.
If he is perfect at home, then the school environment is messing him up. I kinda of doubt this. The parents must be seeing some of the same behavior at home - and they need to start dealing with it. There is only so much you can do. Basically, immediate time-outs. Also, start documenting his behaviors. You didn't say when his birthday is, but kindergarten would not be the best idea for next year.
The no remorse is not that unusual. He may have found that showing no remorse messes up the adults. You need to deal with the behavior, not his actions afterwards.
Essentially, the parents may not see him in context with other kids and may not realize how different his behavior is. It might be helpful if they visited the school and watched him. I think it is extremely important that you let the parents know your concerns. It sounds like they need professional help for their child. Lynn Clarks' book SOS: Help for Parents might help the parents (and maybe even you). Good Luck!
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