5 year old not potty trained

[kitcatsmom]

My daughter will be five next month and she is still not potty trained. She has her moments and uses the potty to urinate quite frequently, but she almost always has bowel movements in her pants. She has been in big girl underwear for almost two years, and nothing seems to work. I am a stay at home mom, and I dote on her all the time, but I also let her know how much this bothers me. She did have a medical condition where she would hold her stool, so she became very constipated. She has been on
Miralax for about six months now and seems to be going regularly but rarely does she actually use the potty. (Less than 6 times in the past four months) I really dont know what to do because she acts like being dirty does not bother her. Please help!!

[RockRose]

kitcat - was she diagnosed with encopresis?  It sounds like that's what she had,  with the constipation.  

Miralax should help with that,  but I've heard of parents using bran fiber,  or citrucel with great success.

I wonder if you started her on a different thing,  the bran or citrucel,  and completely stopped mentioning it,  maybe she will fix the problem herself.    Could you get her several packs of underwear,  and tell her she's in charge now of her own cleanliness,  and put a big thing of wipes and a garbage bag in the bathroom,  and then ignore it?  

This would make me pull my hair out.  I hope you resolve it soon,  for your sake and hers.

Best wishes.

[mjx]

my advise is you try to feed her plenty of fruits and cut down meat intake lyk hotdogs..you could also try to explain this thing to her or offer her some sort of reward for using her pot. you could also visit http://www.besthealthoptions.com, it has great articles about baby and child care. check it out yourself, i've learned a lot from it. Gud day!

[mom@homenow]

Hi You are not alone, check the archives here... My son has recently turned 5 he has done the exact same thing as your daughter, although he trained later for urination due to sensory issues. At his 5 yr appointment the dr asked me if I thought he really wants to and can't seem to do it, or does he seem to not really want to use the bathroom to poop. When I said he'd had problems with constipation and a fissure in the past, and that I thought he just didn't want to use the bathroom, she told me that it is very common for this to happen with kids who have had bad experiences (ie painful bowel movements due to constipation) She said beyond using incentives like praise and rewards and making sure they don't get constipated, there isn't much to do but wait for them to get over the bad experiences of the past and want to use the bathroom. Personally, for the last 6 months or more I have been making my son sit on the toilet for 3 minutes after lunch and again after supper because those are the times he usually goes, but of course success is limited. He doesn't go in his pants away from the house so I KNOW he can hold it when he wants to & if we are away from the house for a meal I wait until we get home to get him on the toilet. It is sometimes a big struggle- but I want him to be aware he can do it, even if for now I have to instigate it.

A few months ago I tried to let him choose to go on his own to earn "big" rewards daily (toy cars) with no success, so after a week I gave up and went back to the routine. Just this week I decided to try again and he seemed more receptive so I'm cautiously hopeful. Good luck! And please stay focused on all the wonderful things about your daughter rather than the toilet issue. Sooner or later this will all be over and there are so many other things that are more important! :-)