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Avatar universal

5 year old separation anxiety-anger

Hi,
Last year my daughter started having some temper tantrums at daycare. She will start throwing rocks while playing outside and after telling her "stop" she started her tantrum. Her dad was deployed on August 2005. My mother came to visit in October 2005. We moved to our house in October 2005. Her sister was born on November 2005. Daddy came for 2 weeks in May 2006. School (pre-K) started on August 2006. Grandma went back home in September 2006. Daddy came back home in October 2006. I understand all the changes she has been thru. She is and has been always a daddy's girl. She will follow directions from daddy. She started having problems in school (throwing things, kicking, spitting). She was suspended from school for a day (please she was only on pre-K). She was having the same behaviour at the after school daycare (throwing things, kicking, spitting, hitting). Things has been getting more and more bizard. Just because she has been told "no" or move from here to there, or for no apparent reason. She will start her thing and "call for daddy". I stopped going to the daycare when she was acting up because if was making no sense, she would not stop crying, whinning or misbehaving if I was there. As soon as daddy got there, she will be quiet and stop her misbehaving. I took her to her doctor. ADD and ADHD was ruled out since this behaviour is not at home, grandma or relatives house, just school and daycare. She was referred to a pschicologist. This lady said my daughter knew what she was doing and she knew the consequences. No more follow up was needed. Tantrums kept going, and going, bigger and bigger. We took her out of daycare to see if she needed a break (we all need) or if something there has been bothering her so much that she preferred to be somewhere else. She kept saying she wanted to go back and be with her friends. We asked her, several times if she wanted to go back to the daycare. She said yes and agree to be good. Back to daycare...2 hours later she was being picked up for another outburst. I made another app with doctor. No ADD or ADHD or anything needing medication. She has been sent back to psichologist. School starts next month and I am concerned she will be send to the bad kids school. She helps me around the house. She is a sweet girl. But when this things happen, it's like she is another person. I tried giving her magnesium (I read this can calm down children with ADD) and Omega 3. No changes in behaviour. I don't know what to do. We had tried splitting her and her sister in different rooms. Magnesium and Omega 3. No TV. No Bday party. No going outside. I am tired. I don't know what else to do. How can I understand what's wrong with her or what's going on?
Please, I need some advise.
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Avatar universal
It sounds like The teachers and aids in Pre-K were probably not trained in dealing with a child with behavioral issues.  They stuck my child in the public 1/2 day program in the local school when we moved to town....he lasted not even the whole week, when I got the call to come talk.  They realized they could not handle this child in that type of class setting.  I knew that would happen to.  
In my state when a child is younger than Kindergarten you could request evaluations by the town and get help from early intervention services.  When they hit school age you could request evaluations through the school and child study time.  Just send a letter to them stating your request. Does you daughter have any other issues?  Is she struggling to have herself understood for some reason?  Who's referring her to this psychologist?  Your pediatrician?  Do you need a referral is that the problem.
I may not be of any help but I do have a child with many issues including behavioral.  I don't mind trying to help, it's not easy.
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Avatar universal
She has been referred again to the same child pschicologist mentioned before. This time pointing out anger and separation anxiety. The medical system works so slow sometimes that it's not fast enough to fix or to redirect these situations. While in Pre-K, teacher and aids were afraid of her. How can I try not to feel bad about an adult fearing my child?
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Avatar universal
How about seeing a child psychologist that could evaluate your child and work with you on how to handle these situations?  Doesn't sound like your Doctor and psychologist are much help to you.  My son is 6 and has behavioral issues.  We did have to put him in a special school...(He has other issues also)  I wouldn't call or say that another school is "the bad kids school" it could be just a school that has staff that is better experienced with children with behavioral needs.  She may also need a more structured setting.  My son needs to be constantly busy or else the behaviors may erupt if he's bored.  Is she going into Kindergarten?  You could always request an evaluation for your child from the child study team at her school.  I'm sure the school will give you advice and help you also.  
Good Luck,


  
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