5 year old staying on task at school

[Melissa156]

About 4 weeks ago my sons kindergarten teacher sent a note home saying my son wasn't staying on task, ie; writing his name and doing the in class work.  So, I called the teacher and asked what we should do.  She told us that we should try a reward program and we did, only it didn't work because he had to stay on task for a whole week without any outcome.  At the time of the phone call, she said there wouldn't be any thought of keeping him back for another year.  About 2 weeks ago, we had our conferences and she told my husband and I that she was on the "fence" about sending him to the 1st grade.  Of course I started crying then and there.  I was MAD, don't tell me 3 weeks ago that he's doing great and there was no chance that he'd get held back and NOW you're on the fence.  So, the next day at work, I talked to two other Mother's of children in my sons' class and we compared report cards.  The girl is a little higher than my son and the boy, well academically, they are the same.  In school, my son sits and listens well.  The other boy, not sooo much.  So, I called the school.  The lady I spoke to, I've known since I was in grade school and trust her.  She basically told me to trust my gut and if it were her son, she'd send him on.  I asked about ADHD and wondered if I should get him tested and she said absolutely not.  I said well maybe Summer school will help and a tutor.  She said a tutor might help but summer school is something he does NOT need.  So we've started the tutor and he loves it.  Now, the BIG shocker, we are a small town, maybe 750 at the most, so everyone knows everyone.  There are 26 kids in the kindergarten class this year, there are 13 in the preschool class this year.  They are planning on holding back about 5 kids to repeat the kindergarten.  So, when I look at this from the outside, I feel like my son is a victim of the situation.  Can anyone help me with this?  I think my son gets distracted at school, but there are 18 boys in the class and most of the are yelling and screaming all day.  So, I started a new reward program, every three days he gets a reward if he stays on task.  I'm not sure holding him back is a good idea, he's VERY smart...........

[jdtm]

I don't know where you live but most school districts can not "hold back" children in the primary grades without the consent of the parents.  So, even if the school or teacher recommends that the child "repeat" a class or grade level, the parents can override this.  In our area, children cannot be "failed" without parental consent before the age of 14.  Personally, it sounds to me as if the school is trying to "even up" the two classes but that is not the parents' concern.

As for the testing of ADHD - I would wait until you get another teacher's opinion; but it is something you should keep in the back of your mind.  By the way, research has shown that most children do NOT benefit from repeating a grade level.  

[ames67]

You are wise to have implemented your own reward program and since he loves the tutoring, maybe he just needed some academic attention, something I am sure is hard for a kindergarten teacher of 26. And I agree with the above that it is too early for the ADHD testing. Usually, 2nd grade is a good benchmark for whether or not they are having attentional difficulties associated with ADHD. Just out of curiosity does your son have a late birthday? If they are trying to meet a quota they may think it would not "harm" him as much as other students if his birthday is later in the year. But by all means don;t let them hold your son back if he does not need it.

[inavia]

I understand your frustration. I am going trough a similar situation. My daughter has been in VPK since this past August and is scheduled to start Kinder This August of 2008. Two weeks ago I found out by another teacher that my daughter was behind her class and didn't recognized the letters. I wanted to die! How could my daughter be behind??? Well, it didn't matter...My husband and I decided to have her assessed with Sylvan learning Center...the results showed that she wasn't even at a Pre K level! Imagine my pain! But they also explained to us that it seems that my daughter is having problem differentiating some sounds and therefore may loose interest very quickly in what she was being taught...we realized that since my husband is tone deaf, there is a possibility that she may be too and that is just adding to the problem...in either case, we decided to enroll her with Sylvan 5 hours a week and by the time she starts kinder she will be almost at a first grade level....
So, don’t be discouraged! Is possible that if he is not understanding like my daughter he just stops paying attention...(it is because he is not understanding, it has nothing to do with being smart!) and let's be honest, teachers can't sit with him or my daughter alone and dedicate to them all the time they need...so, there is my idea, I hope it helps...you're not alone...but there is always hope...especially with their developing brains!!!

Something else...everything in this country seems to be ADHD!!! the Truth is that of all the kids that get diagnosed, only 3% truly have ADHD ...sometimes we have to do our research ourselves if we truly want to make good decisions!!! Wish you the best!