5 year old treated poorly

I have been sitting for a 5 yr. old girl for 3 weeks now. Her parents are divorced and switch custody every day. Her mom drops her off tired, puffy eyed and with no jacket (52 degrees out), with a can of punch and toast. Her dad brings her in the afternoons one hour after preschool lets out and yet she goes to my fridge and takes food when she gets here.

She has untreated allergies and her mother was hostile when I asked if she would give her what her doctor prescribed. She has what looks like exema (eczema). Her mother gives her dirty looks and is cold.

Her dad talks to her as if he were Mrs. Doubtfire using babytalk. The girl uses only one word and pointing to communicate when she's with or has been with her dad. Her dad grabs her and gives her "101 kisses" when he sees her. She always says "OW" and writhes and then he tickle tortures her till she laugh/cries. He chastised her one day when she would not let him grab her and kiss her. One day she ran upstairs and when he came after her, she screamed and shoved him in his crotch. She started to use jibberish and ran out of the house.

She has started to tell me things that are disturbing.... She said: her parents had a tug of war with her and her dad got her away from her mom; her mom washed her mouth out with soap; her dad - and she spread her legs and pointed at her crotch; they both hit her for crying.

The parents said she won't be in Kinder. because she is too immature. She seems to have learning problems, she can't say how to spell her name, she starts writing on the right e.g., euS.



What do you recommend?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

There is every reason to suspect that this child is being both abused and neglected, and left in the current situation will develop serious emotional disturbance. A report should be filed with the local child protection agency. If you ignore this you are effectivly colluding with the parents in the mistreatment of this child. There is an onus on all of us who try to help children and teens to intervene when they are apparently being abused or neglected.

[Chyrie]

What state do you practice in? You need to notify the authorities immediately. I work in Texas, and here we are extremely strict about these sorts of things. Any time a child confides in you about something that is "off", or you notice that the childs mental, physical, and material needs are not being met, or their is ANY suspicion of emotional, physical, or sexual abuse, you have not only the athority but the responsibility to that child to report it and have it investigated. In Texas, we have protection for making reports under "good faith" that something is wrong. And this child is obviously not being taken care of. No coat? No medication when she obviously needs it? Confidding in you about possible sexual abuse? I wonder, does the child fight when its time to leave your facility? Get upset when one or the other comes to pick her up? At drop off, does she seem "over eager" for them to be gone? "over excited" to see you?
I hope you can find answers for you and help for her. I will pray for you and your situation. Good Luck.

[Mystifiedof2]

I am 21 and my mom just turned 41.  She's been having a lot of problems in her new marriage and has been seeing a therapist.  Last night I was talking to her about how it was going and she let me in on a 'dirty secret' that she's been holding onto for atleast 30 years...that her step father sexually, emotionally, and physically abused her and her brothers and sisters when they were growing up...to the point of the step father performing oral sex on her then 2 year old baby sister.  Nothing was ever done about it.  My point is, if this little girl isn't saved, she will have to live with 'dirty secrets' if there are any for the rest of her life.  With all of the messed up people in the world who were abused and neglected growing up, my opinion is that you should try to save her from being one of the many people with issues...my mom has learned so far that because of those issues in the past, they continue to haunt her and effect her daily life and her relationships.  Sorry, I'm rambling on here, please help her, and you never know, you could be saving her life both now and later in life.

[colep_2003]

if this type of thing isnt just a one day thing, been going on for awhile...these people are not sutible parents...it isnt right that she shows up at your door day after day, Cold and sick...you legaly cant give medican to her yourself...so i would Get protective services involed...