My step-son is 5 years old, and is in 4k kindergarten right now along with day-care. His mother left the family when he was about 3 years old, and had all visitation removed from her when he was 4 due to neglect/abuse. Currently, supervised visitation has once again begun once a week.
We have had behavioral problems with him from the begining. We found out that while my husband was at work, she would lock him in his room and let him scream. Diapers were not changed. He had many injuries that were not explained, and some that were explained poorly. Him and his sister (who is now 4) were not able to talk english, although they did have their own language that they spoke to each other in.
We had him in early childhood, and that helped quite a bit. We've seen psycologists, who have basically told us nothing other than "we need to remain consistent". Well, we've remained consistent and strict, while still giving him all the love we can. While the situation has become better this past year, we seem to have come to a standstill on our progress. Currently, we get reports every day on how bad he has been in school and daycare. We're scared that he may be kicked out of another daycare. While for the past few years he was getting better every week, now he seems to be backsliding.
He seems to have this rage in him that we can't control or deal with. I understand why, but we're at a loss as to what to do about it. He kicks, hits, throws things, yells, and has total breakdowns were he seems to not be able to hear or respond to anything. When I'm there with him, he seems to have more control and the issues don't happen often (maybe 2-3 times per month). The problem is, I have to work and I can't be there all the time.
How do we proceed? How can we make him understand that daddy and I have to go to work, and he HAS to be good in school and daycare just like he does for us? I know he doesn't like us going to work, and I know it makes him sad, but there's not much we can do about that.
Any ideas/suggestions would be appreciated. We just don't know what to do anymore.
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