5 year old w/ ADHD kicked out of daycare X 2

[Aimee09]

I am at a loss. My son just got kicked out if his second daycare. He has ADHD and is on Focalin 5 mg daily. He talk backs to the teachers, laughs in their face when they try to discipline, throws things, bumps, hits or spits on kids at school and the teachers can't take it anymore. Texas does not have that much support for ADHD kids, but I question myself, is it his ADHD or is he just being defiant? A little history, he has a 5 1/2 month old sister, his dad is not around and the kids at the daycare he just got kicked out of do not like him because of the way he expreses himself. What do I do?

[Lisapg1972]

What about diet? does he eat a lot of processed food with a lot of artificial coloring and flavors? does he get extra curricular activities.. at least 60 mins of excercise  PER DAY??!!  does he go to any kind of counseling?? I would DO ALL of those things before I would even think about putting my kids on drugs.. I am not saying anything against you.. but a lot of times its easier to put kids on drugs ... My niece was diagnosed w ADHD and my sis refused the Adderall that was supplied.. within 6 months of changing diet and exercise the kid improved immensely!!!!!!  even her PHYSICAL appreance changed.. it was literally unbelievable.. but it was not EASY!!!!
is he in a family daycare ( in a home) or in a group facility? all daycare worker ( in Canada) have to have training.. even a family daycare.. but in Canada if it's a group center one of the workers MUST have ECE ( early childhood education) maybe you need to find a center which caters to kids with ADHD ? I understand the frustration you and the daycare facilty must be under.. good luck!!

[Kjerstin]

Definitely sounds like your son is not happy at that daycare.  Try to find a daycare that has a calm surrounding with less kids.  If the daycare provider only has a few kids, the provider should be able to give more attention to your child.  Also, if the daycare has lots of singing that would help with his attitude.  Like my grandmother used to say "A singing child is a happy child".  Do you have lab proof of the ADHD diagnosis?  When I worked for a psychiatrist, there was only one child that had ADHD for sure and the rest were being treated because of parents concerned about their behavior not because of lab results.  Sometimes behavior problems are due to lack of vitamins especially the B's.  Calcium calms and Vitamin B does so also.  Behavior problems also can stem from allergies.  Allergies can make children irritable and sometimes aggressive.  Just because the daycare failed your child, does not mean that your child has a problem.  There are a lot of bad daycares out there.  When selecting a daycare look for calm, structure, less kids, and a daycare provider that really cares and will give your child attention. Make a few surprise visits to make sure that everything is what it appears to be.   Incorporate singing into your daily life and have fun.  

[benjimom]

Also, be aware that a lot of these people who work in daycare don't have a lot of training, they are not education majors or thigns like that most of the time.  Sometimes I feel like a lot of people just don't want to deal with the ADHD child. I know they have a lot of kids, etc.  Have you taken him to see a psychiatrist etc.   My son was in daycare and it was not all that structured honestly.  I am sure it varies from school to school.  But it's not structured like elementary school.  Does the focalin help any, have you tried any behavioral therapy as well?  It sounds like a difficult situation and I'm sure it's hard to see your young son having so many issues, it's overwhelming!

[Natta1980]

There are lots of resources for ADHD kids/difficult children that you can use by yourself.

Social stories help very much - personalized to a child, they take you through various social situations.....

ADHD children need lots of structure - does his daycare have a lot of structure?

5 is also very young to diagnose ADHD - get a second opinion, does medication help him at all?

If not - you may want to look into other alternatives in terms of medications

Make sure that teachers do not just "try" to discipline him, but in fact, discipline him, and discipline is consistent between school and home. Many times teachers "give in" or make "special rules" because they do not have time to deal with the difficult child.

Good luck