5 year old who will not sleep in his bed

[mamaof5]

My 5 year old son has maybe slept in his own room 10 times since his birth.  When he was first born I was diagnosed with cancer and it was so much easier for his dad and me to have him sleep beside us.  Somewhere along the course he was moved to our bed.  Now he refuses to sleep in his own room.  I even go lay down with him in his bed and hope that he falls asleep so I can ease out of his room.  The problem is I fall asleep, he stays awake and when he realizes that I am asleep will wake me up stating that he wants to go and sleep with daddy.  He just will not sleep in his room.  He is not afraid of the dark.  He will walk outside in the dark without a flashlight.  He has a night light in his room.  His bedroom is right off of the living room.  He can lay in the bed and literally sit me if I am sitting on the sofa.  Now, he does have the habit of running his fingers through my hair if I lay down with him.  I do not know what to do.  My husband and I do not want to force him because we feel like it is our fault that he is sleeping with us.  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, if you want to think of it that way, it is your fault. After all, you taught him to do this and now the behavior is second nature. The solution rests with you. If you really want this to change, you have to bite the bullet. There is no easy cure to this. Follow Richard Ferber's guidelines in Solving Your Child's Sleep Problem and you will fix the problem. But don't expect it will be easy.