5 y.o. boy behavior out of control...please help diagose him.

He's 5 years 5 months old, tall for age, weight is normal, no allergies, blood glucose normal,  vision normal, hearing normal.
Here are his symptoms:
-***** on finger or shirt collar constantly
-very loud voice, monotone sound
-Overly affectionate with visitors: climbing on lap (too much), kissing face constantly at visitors.
-doesn't associate consiquences with actions, won't listen to "NO", VERY DEFIANT.
-Makes weird noises to to everyone in family, kids at school, strangers.
-asks the same questions multiple times...to a point that we get very annoyed
-VERY HYPER
-always bouncing around
-always "hungry" he is feed enough...shouldn't be hungry
-does not like to be held as a form of restraint when behavior is out of control.
-always grabbing, pushing, and laying on sisters (ages 3,2 )
-Disruptive in preschool...almost kicked out
-knows NO personal space
-No social skills
-Good academically
-lies about the obvious
-will hide food under his covers occasionally
-Blames others at home and at school
-sleeps great, doesn't pee in his bed, potty trained.
-needs night light at night
-Hits mom when angry, and gets VERY angry when caught doing something naughty
-Speech very unclear, talks A LOT, delayed speech due to ear infections when younger.

WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER:
-made no eye contact except when he was very angry at you
-wasn't potty trained until 4 years 3 months old...very resistant to potty training
-very difficult since born, difficult to get to sleep, woke up crying

HISTORY:
-1st born
-parents divorced when he was 6 months old, mother now remarried when he was 2.
-Had a c-section delivery
-Had tubes put in ears when he was 2 y.o
-Tubes removed when he was 4 y.o
-Tonsils/Adenoids removed when he was 5 y.o behavior got worse after this surgery.


Clinical social worker thinks possible: Aspergers Syndrome or Reactive Attachment Disorder?

[AnnaBreen]

the part that has "****" is chews on fingers and shirt collar .

[RockRose]

Anna,  I'd like to ask what relationship you have to this child.

Before I even read the last part of your post,  Aspergers and Reactive Attachment Disorder (should actually be DEtachment disorder,  actually) seemed very possible.  This sounds like a child who was born with some genetic difficulties, and is now without a mother.

Are you  his mother?  Does he have a mother?  

Best wishes to you for trying to find out answers.

[AnnaBreen]

In reply to RockRose.  I am his mother, he has never been away from me all his life.  We have a very close relationship.  It is getting difficult to get along with him now due to his defiance and aggression.  I have always been loving and close to him.  He used to have visitation with his father...who has a dysfunctional family.  Usually the detachment disorder is assigned with foster children or abused children.  He has never been abused so I am baffled as to why he has this behavior.  We are a middle class family, so he has had a good upbringing, with no bad experiences.  I worry sometimes that maybe he had some bad experience with his father to cause this behavior, but he only speaks good about his dad "disneyland dad".  But he hasn't seen his father is 1.5 years since we have moved out of state.  

[RockRose]

Hi Anna.  It seems like detachment disorder is a little tricky to diagnose,  but since you,  as his mother,  has always been with him,  it seems like that can be ruled out.  

Best wishes.

[momagain59]

Sometimes it is hard to get a diagnosis when you overlap into several diagnoses. Have you taken him to a Pediatric Developmental Specialist? He needs to be seen before he enters Kindergarten so he can get an IEP and they can learn how to teach him. So many schools do not know how to work with special needs children. Do you have anyone that can help you so you can get a break? If I could give you one piece of advice, I would tell you to start researching everything you can about children with behaviors and mental illnesses. You will have to be his advocate to help him get what he needs out of life. It will be the most stressful job you have ever had and the most rewarding job you have ever had. I am glad to see that you are looking for answers. You are doing it the right way, rule out one thing at a time. Do not give up, surround yourself with supportive people.

[AnnaBreen]

The person he is seeing now thinks he needs to see a child psychiatrist for a medication evaluation.  I'd really hate to put him on medication at such a young age, but also if medication would help his behavior and help him with in the social scene then maybe he should be medicated.  I just hate to do that.  I am a nurse so I know and research all the possible side effects of all these stimulant drugs they like to prescribe children.  What do you all think?  Do you think medication is beneficial or more detrimental to their mental and physical health?