5 yr. old afraid of school experiencing panic attacks?

[aj1117]

My 5 yr. old son is so afraid to go to school, he started kindergarten this year. He went the first two days and seemed ok. I did notice strange behaviors like body stiffness and not wanting to talk about his day, upon picking him up from school. Then he started to mention feelings of fear and embarrassment. He said he can't talk at school and his voice changed as he told me this. He mentioned getting hot and shaking. The teacher told me on his third day he cried a lot and he wouldn't participate unless she gave him one on one attention and a lot of reassurance. He claims everything is to hard and the day way to long. He really don't like lunch time either. Every time school is even mentioned he immediately turns red faced his voice gets low and squeaky and he says he's sleepy and goes to lay in his bed, also wants to be alone. He went thru preschool pretty well. The first time he had an anxiety attack was at a new daycare, one that he only went to for about a month and a half. He was ready and excited to start school. He missed a day last week because he was freaking out so bad, I just couldn't force him to go. It breaks my heart to see him so scared. He just began counseling and is scheduled to see a Dr. soon for not being able to sleep and uncontrollable behaviors. The anxiety wasn't there since he hadn't gone to that daycare, school brought it back.  

[aj1117]

My son is not a young 5, he is actually going to be six the middle of Nov.. As far as his maturity, I'm not sure. He hasn't seemed to be immature in any ways, except I may have babied him a little too much. I mean, I feel I may have done too much for him, things he could have started doing on his own sooner than I let him or encouraged him to do so. For example, if he wants to go outside or excited about something were going to do he'll pick out his clothes, get dressed, put his shoes on etc., if not and I ask him to do those things he'll say he needs help with pretty much everything. But he is capable so I don't know if I'd consider that immaturity. The Dr. he 's going to see is a psychologist. I've tried having him put something of mine in his pocket, didn't seem to do much. I think you made a good point about maybe he's just not ready and a half day is something I'm going to consider and discuss. Thank you for your input. Talking does help.

[specialmom]

You poor  son.  He needs lots of love and support from you.  I'm glad you are consulting a doctor for his anxiety (which being scared of school sounds like) but if medications comes into the picture, I'd only allow a psychiatrist that deals with children prescribe it.  

Is your son a young 5 (either by birthdate or maturity)?  Perhaps he is not quite ready for kindergarten.  In our area, the schools and teachers stress that when a child starts kindergarten really doesn't matter if it takes an extra year to make sure they are emotionally ready.  So if your son is a young 5 (summer birthday)----  that might be the case.  Also, do you have a half day kindergarten option.  That sounds like it would be better for him.

Keep yourself posative about this and have a mental health and developmental evaluation done.  But most of all, show him patience and kindness (which it sounds like you are.)  It sounds like the usual of putting a picture of yourself in his bag and pep talks might do little good.

I wish you lots of luck, be his advocate and get him so that HE feels good on the inside.