5 yr old boy, extremely rude, and defiant

One of my friends sons, who is 5 has a younger sister who is 3. The little boy, would be excellent until he gets a surprize, and then he will be extremely rude, he is mean to his younger sister, his father, and company. He seems to be ok with just his mom. But he listens to everything everyone says he has a momory like a collage student. he memorizes everything. He will only eat chicken fries or pizza. He does not listen, he gets into everything. And he knows when he does something that he is not suppost to because he looks at you and smiles. I have tried to help her with him, but her husband dose not want my help. But this kid needs some kind of help. He has way to much energy so the got him a dog. He screams in peoples faces EXC. his fathers. he does things really mean to everyone. Then when you ask him why, he says the devil mde him do it. they have had a priest come in, they have taken toys away, time outs, games to see how long he can be good for, they have tried everything. ADHD was rulled out. She is to the point of having him hospitalized it is getting that bad. I want to help them, and the little boy, I just dont know how? does any one have any idea's?

[RockRose]

Nina,  do you have any children?

[AnnieBrooke]

Is your friend, the mom, entirely overwhelmed and at a loss, and both she and her husband have begged you to get involved?  If not, you're going to have to be a good friend and stay out.

[specialmom]

Hi.  We never know what goes on in another family no matter how close to the you think you are.  Perhaps they are working on some things with their son.

I would do your very best to not be judgemental and to do nothing but say nice things about him to your friend and her husband and to the boy.  That is really your job as a friend.  If they need your help, they will come to you and ask.  If you just insinuate your opinion into things, eventually, you'll lose your friendship with these people.  

Kids are all different and bring their different challenges.  He may have sensory issues that cause his behavior.  He may have parents that when not in public also talk rudely.  He may be doing the best he can based on his developmental stage and some of what you describe isn't that unusual (lot of picky eaters out there.)

I really feel it is inappropriate for you to try to insert yourself into this.  Watch from afar and keep your mouth shut about what YOU think they should do unless the father and mother both ask for help.  good luck