5 yr old curiosity?

[3blondies]

My 5 yr old was over at his friend's house (who is 6).  They were in the bathroom changing to go to the pool and were mvoing a little slowly so the boy's mom walked in the bathroom and they were naked and hurried up and covered their privates (which were erect).  Later, the boy told his mom that my son suggested they play the "gross" game where the kissed each other on the privates.  Both said it was a quick kiss ("peck") and then it was done.  I am very strict about what my son watches on tv and who he is around.  We had a long discussion and I feel pretty certain that he has not been exposed to his game by another adult.  Still, it is completely out of character as he has a 7 yr old sister and 2 yr old brother and he has never even suggested playing a game like this with them and he has never really even been overly curious about his own parts.  I am freaking out here!

[Cleveland Mom]

Additonally, I did a google search of "child sexuality" and "child sex play".  I found a number of articles to back up the position that most child sex play is "harmless".  If you check out some of these articles your will find that human sexuality exists throughout our life time, including the time when we are babies, toddler, preschoolers and beyond, naturally.  You may note that experts in the field of human sexuality tell us thatt it is typical for very young children ages 4-6 to be curious about their sexuality.  They are curious about the sexuality of others and its within the norm to touch other children in a sexual manner.

Of course, when a child is involved in an incident of sex play its prudent to make sure that child sex abuse does not play a role.  I stress that the best course is to talk to your health care provider if you have questions or concerns about any element of your child's development or behavior.  Best wishes...

[Cleveland Mom]

Sex play among children is not that uncommon and not necessarily abnormal. The type of inicident your describe isn't really that unusual.  We have all heard of kids being involved in some kind of sex play, or maybe we ourselves have participated in sex play during some time in our childhood.  To be clear, I am not talking about sexual abuse or molesting.  I am referring to games like "spin the bottle" etc.  

Your son was the one who suggested playing this game, yes? If you are certain that he has not been exposed to movies with adult sexual themes inappropriate for a child and you are certain that he has not been molested or sexually abused in anyway then its fairly safe to assume that this was a form of child sex play.  

Boys and girls are often rather different.  I have one of each.  As stated, I have a 5 year old boy.  He has never been involved in sex play with another child but he is very aware of his sexuality.  He has silly names for male and female private parts.  He talks about errections and teases his sister about having an "Oh my", his silly name for female privates.  We have had to do some teaching with him concerning that issue as well as privacy issues regarding sexuality.   Its not a far stretch for me to imagine him being involved in the incident involving your son.

Lastly, I do think that making to big of a deal out of the situation or over-reacting would be making a mistake. If you are uncomfortable, you could post on the doctor moderated child behavior health forum or better yet contact your pediatrician in order to gain perspective of the situation as Agiesmom suggested.    Best wishes...

[Agiesmom]

I am not a professional, but I have to say that the kissing is something I find very alarming.  I agree with you that it's very adult behavior (something one of them had had to have seen or heard about from someone older).

I don't think it would hurt to mention this incident to your pediatrician.

Did you happen to post this question on the "ask the doctor" board?
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ChildBehavior/wwwboard.html

[3blondies]

The fact that they were curious and touching isn't what bothered me.  It was that they kissed each other's privates.  That just seemed a little "adult" to me for two boys that have not seen this kind of thing from TV or their parents, etc.  I did have a long talk with my son about no one touching his privates, etc.  I am not sure at all that he originated the game as the other boy is more knowledgeable and tends to be the leader of their relationship, but both boys did it willingly.  I am one 4 sisters and my oldest child is a girl so having a boy is a whole new learning curve for me!!!  Your comments do make me feel better though, and my husband agrees with you as well.  Thanks a lot.

[Cleveland Mom]

I agree that you should you this a teaching opportunity as koukla suggests.  Its very normal for little boys to be interested in erections, touching thier private parts and sexual exploration.  I have a 5 year old boy...  Nothing that you desribe here seems alarming, its seems really quite normal.  Please don't freak!

Best wishes...

[Cleveland Mom]

I agree that you should you this a teaching opportunity as koukla suggests.  Its very normal for little boys to be interested in erections, touching thier private parts and sexual exploration.  I have a 5 year old boy...  Nothing that you desribe here seems alarming, its seems really quite normal.  Please don't freak!

Best wishes...

[koukla29]

Are you sure it was your son who suggested it?  Start teaching him about good touch/bad touch.  Noone has a right to touch you, your private part is yours and you never have to show it to anyone.  If anyone asks you to show them, say no and tell an adult.  He needs to know these things.

I think you shouldn't worry too much about this one behavior, but I think it is an opportunity to educate your son on touch.