5 yr old who pees all over the toilet

[mom§boys]

Hello, my name is Kathy, I have a 6 1/2 yr old boy and a 5yr old boy.  My 5 yr old is potty trained to an extent, he wears a pull up at nap time and night time.  The big problem is he holds his pee til he has to run to bathroom and then he pees all over the toilet the wall every where.  We are so frustrated in what to do with him, we were scolding him but then he told his pre school teacher that he does not want to go pee because we yell at him when he pees every where, so we changed our strategy and rewarded him every time he peed without getting it on the toilet.  But still he holds it til he cannot control it when he gets to the toilet.   He also is afraid to flush the toilet he runs out of the bathroom as soon as we make him flush or we flush.

He still pees at night and he will even get up in the middle of the night and change his own pull up?  But will not go into the bathroom and go.  I have talked to his doctor he says he is just lazy and we should make him go every hour, we tried that and so did the school, he throws a fit when we make him go, he just does not want to go.   He will also just dribble in his underwear, they will be damp, and if I catch it I will make him go pee.  He will be in Kindergarten this year and I am so lost as to what to do to get him to pee correctly.  His 6yr old brother was potty trained in 1 day and has never had a accident of any kind.  

And one more thing I have noticed, when we tell him to hold his pee pee down he will not touch it but push his tummy down right above his penis?   So any advise you can offer is much appreciated!!  


Thanks Kathy

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It sounds like the problem in chiefly that he is reticent about touching his penis. Gently ask him about this - see what he thinks. It may help to have his brother demonstrate for him; he may accept this better than hearing about it from parents. You might also enlist the help of his pediatrician. The nocturnal enuresis needn't cause you alarm. It's not necessarily that he's being lazy at night when he changes the pull-up. In other words, he wakes up wet and changes - at that point the event has already occurred.

[mom§boys]

Can you advise doc about the fear of flushing and the dribbling all day long ???

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Many young children are uneasy about the noise of flushing, and this is particularly so with children who may have sensitivity to sounds as a form of sensory integration disorder. Now, I'm not suggesting that your son displays SID, and if he is OK about other sounds, particularly loud sounds, he likely does not. I take it his pediatrician has indicated that the dribbling is not symptomatic of any physical problem, so it's safe to say that it is just a result of his not urinating often enough.

[lmroswell]

Our oldest daughter, just turned 9, is not good at flushing at all.  We just moved into a new house, and I set the rules early on about keeping their rooms neat, etc.  She still does not flush (80% of the time).  I asked her why she doesn't flush and she said she was afraid to, afraid of monsters in the closet in the bathroom.  So, for her, it is a fear thing.  I just hope it will get better in time.  Her younger sister has no problem.  As far as the dribbling goes and peeing on the toilet,  I think that some males never grow out of that one...