Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
5 yr old with anger management issues
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
5 yr old with anger management issues
by Dan McAnally, Apr 03, 2000 12:00AM
My 5 yr old is having a hard time with our baby sitter, he always wants to control situations (along with his younger brother), and when our baby sitter tries to interceed and dicipline him for hitting his brother or when she tries to get him to do as she wishes he responds violently and kicks, bites, spits on her and she has to physically restrain him, he also calls her names. He never behaves this extremely with my wife and I, and is great at school, and we were shocked to find out how bad its become on the two days he spends with the baby sitter. We talked to him at length about this and he says that it is very hard for him to be good with the babysitter, and he doesnot think he can do it even with the threat of losing priviledges.I do not know what to do about this. Our baby sitter thinks that she was too nice when she started watching him and now that she is holding her ground he is rebeling against the change and now she is about to give up and quit. I really am at a loss on what to do.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Apr 05, 2000 12:00AM
, Apr 05, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Mr. McAnally,
It is encouraging that your son displays appropriate behavior and impulse control in most situations. It indicates that his behavior with the sitter is volitional, in spite of his wondering about his ability to control it. The sitter is likely correct in her speculation that she set inadequate limits early in the relationship and is now trying to make mid-course adjustments. But this can get better.
I'd suggest you establish an incentive system, using a simple behavior chart, with the goal of FOLLOWING SITTER's DIRECTIONS. If the time block during which the sitter is present is relatively brief, a single rating should be sufficient. If the period is more than several hours, the time can be divided into blocks. She should place a sticker in the appropriate block when your son has been compliant during that period. He should then receive some type of reward for each sticker. She can give him the reward. He should also receive some consequence (e.g., ten minute time out, loss of some television time) for any block during which he does not receive his sticker. You should review the chart with the sitter in your son's presence, so that he witnesses your support for her exercising jurisdiction over him.
It is encouraging that your son displays appropriate behavior and impulse control in most situations. It indicates that his behavior with the sitter is volitional, in spite of his wondering about his ability to control it. The sitter is likely correct in her speculation that she set inadequate limits early in the relationship and is now trying to make mid-course adjustments. But this can get better.
I'd suggest you establish an incentive system, using a simple behavior chart, with the goal of FOLLOWING SITTER's DIRECTIONS. If the time block during which the sitter is present is relatively brief, a single rating should be sufficient. If the period is more than several hours, the time can be divided into blocks. She should place a sticker in the appropriate block when your son has been compliant during that period. He should then receive some type of reward for each sticker. She can give him the reward. He should also receive some consequence (e.g., ten minute time out, loss of some television time) for any block during which he does not receive his sticker. You should review the chart with the sitter in your son's presence, so that he witnesses your support for her exercising jurisdiction over him.
Member Comments (1)
by stacymynor, Jan 23, 2009 10:16AM
A related discussion, I cannot figure out my 5 year old was started.
